At least you got good numbers for @C_8! 
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One thing at a time friend. You’re there with and for your kitty. You’re there. We’re with you. You’re not alone. Hugs.
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Thank you. You’re right. I know it. It’s easy to get overwhelmed with more than one thing.
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I know, right @anon79808082 !!! I was super excited, then I read the words @Flamestar posted, and I didn’t know what to do … 
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Omg Cate, I’m dying laughing rn at work!!!
You’re hilarious!!
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Thanks hun, it’s good to be back. Just saw your comment in You are missed #2
Not sure where I went wrong. I just know that when the decision was made, there was no turning back. No reaching out, I just went for it. Still trying to figure this thing out, but I’ll have to do that as I go. 
95 days, it’s a shame but that time hasn’t been wasted. I think (hope) I got a lot of awareness out of this relapse, maybe it was sort of meant to happen as it was very clear to me while I was smoking, how good it actually felt being clean for that whole period of time.
Thanks @Mno, I don’t even know what to say. Feels a bit weird/awkward… don’t know which word I’m looking for but it is what it is, I guess. Trying not to overanalyze things and also just trying to move on.
Thanks for your support @RyanSA @crystalclear @Fargesia_murielae
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Well that sucks and I am deeply sorry.
I do hope your beloved kitty will be okay. She surely has a beautiful life with you. She is very blessed, as are you for her love and companionship as well.
We love so deeply, and we feel pain and grief deeply as well. We do not need to hide from our feelings in alcohol or using, for our tribute to that love we share is feeling our feelings.
I am thinking of you and you kitty and sending strength and hugs. You do not need to worry or think about your birthday right now. I hope you and kitty have some cuddle time together and that she and you feel better.
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It’s not necessarily the 4s, it’s numbers in order or all the same, etc. We like to keep her happy,
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OCD much? 
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Hey, I totally hear you!!! No rule says you have to be social for your birthday (happy early birthday btw 
) Right now, focus on getting well. Thank goodness you’re sober right now to be there for your cat. I’m sending strength and prayers 
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Congrats on one year!!! 
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Congratulations TJ! You’re such an inspiration to everyone here; with sobriety and staying fit!
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Oh wow!! That is fantastic! Congratulations on your year!!!
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@SassyRocks Thank you. I appreciate that. I don’t have kids, nor will I ever have them, and so my cats have been as close as they’ve come. My other cat was genuinely like a child. It was like having a forever 2 year old without opposable thumbs who couldn’t articulate his words. It was hard to let him go after 11 years of having him in my life, constantly needing to see everything I was doing. Am I chopping vegetables? He had to watch. Am I painting the wall? He had to watch.
Zelda has been less like a child than a room mate I’m really comfortable with who is also family. People have children who are driving now for the same amount of time I’ve had her in my life. I’ve always been most comfortable with animals, and it would be a deep loss for her to pass away. I know that I will eventually have to say goodbye, and that 18 is an age that a large majority of cats never see; but it’s just that right now I don’t have the emotional reserves to deal with the loss.
@Girlinterrupted That’s true. I’ve had several friends pestering me about what I want to do for my birthday; which, I mean, is cool to know I have such great mates. I just feel torn. I feel like I should do something because it would be good for me. And it would. It really would. But it’s like when you know you shouldn’t eat cake for breakfast, but then you’re like… fuck it, and eat the cake anyway. haha Maybe that’s a bad analogy. Anyway, we’ll get information back on the xrays as late as tomorrow. Thank you for your words and seriously good luck with the kitten situation! Mama cat should be okay. Most cats get through the birthing just fine. Sometimes a kitten might pass away, but if that happens, it’s not your fault, and the mama cat won’t dwell on it.
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Awesome. Congrats on your year!! 
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So I got 5 months and 19 days today and so far I have done really good with not having many urges to use of thinking about using again at all really this is mainly due to the fact that I had open heart surgery recently for a heart disease I got from using needles for a long time. I almost died so I know what can happen if I go back to that and that has helped a lot knowing that and also being on methadone but yesterday they did a random per test which I’m fine with I’m not dirty but I had just went to the bathroom so I couldn’t go and they have a 15 minute limit of you can’t per in that time it’s marked as a dirty bottle automatically and now I could be discharged from the program and I know that I can’t cold turkey from 95 mg of methadone I won’t be able to do it the withdrawals are so horrible I can’t go through that I know that if this happens I’ll have to get high I’ll have to use heroin to of withdrawals and I don’t want to I’m not looking forward to going back to that lifestyle and everything else that comes with it I don’t want to do that again and I’m scared and don’t know what to do right now and I really really need some support.
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Today was fantastic. Fuck Netflix and television for now, life is so much better without it. The day started off with my boss complimenting my work via text. Very motivating
The rest of the day I didn’t really do much except for listening to podcasts while building some LEGO sets. So simple, yet so calming. Also finally went to a restaurant with my mom to celebrate I passed school a few weeks back.
She turned on the TV in front of me. That was a tough one. I have always been intensely curious, so as soon as I saw she turned on the TV I wanted to figure out what she was watching. Turned up the volume of my podcast and eventually asked her if she would mind watching TV upstairs since I wanted to lessen my TV usage. Managed to sit an entire 10 minutes in front of that TV building with my LEGO and listening to my podcast until it was turned off. Proud moment for me
I have had this very strong headache all evening, but somehow it doesn’t bother me because I’m so happy and energetic
Good night everyone. Sleep tight or enjoy your day. May recovery come to you all as if it’s always been there. And if you do suffer from cravings, remember, never crave alone
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Just know that it will always be you who is in control of your actions. No one can make you put that needle back in your arm except you. You had the strength to go without it for 5 months and 19 days. You can pull through this too
And know that if you do stick the needle back in that it’s very likely you die. Not meant to depress you, but to motivate you