I’m getting used to wearing them. I had a bad panic attack the first time. Had to practice haha. I found these. They are super thin and easy to breathe through.
Loisuzn 4 Pack Washable and Reusable Unisex Anti-dust Earloop Mouth Bandana Half Protection Cover (Black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0891QCMTV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apip_gCMCakHTXRGIt
Not sure if amazon magically turns it to your side of the world when you click the link haha
Oh wow magical! And poop, sorry! Search thin mask 
When I got home from the vet, I was feeling pretty down, and I just wanted to block it all out. I realized that if I didn’t give myself something all encompassing to do, I’d do something that I regretted. So I changed and hopped on the treadmill and listened to music at what was probably an ear damaging level. The point wasn’t to get any specific kind of work out but to do something sort of mind numbing. I did fit in a core and glute work out after walking at a 4.5 incline for 40 minutes.
And I did feel better after; not just about my situation, but also just in general. Which was good because when I hopped in the shower, I quickly found out that my pilot light had gone out on my furnace 
Nothing like a cold shower to get the heart pumping… again. 
@Misokatsu Thank you. I really appreciate it. And hang in there yourself. I know you’re having a rough time at the moment. Take it one day at a time.
Edit for typo fix
Almost 8 months. Still here.
I’m so proud of you @Chiron! You deserve a huge pat on the back for handling that situation so well. You did exactly what you needed to do in order to overcome that urge. I’m glad you posted this, others can definitely learn from your experience.
Thank you. I appreciate you saying so. It’s so easy to cave in the moment and forget about long term goals, especially when life throws curve balls.
I watch one of these…get me every time…
Terms of Endearment
Brokeback Mountain
Marley & Me
The land before time always gets me. 
3 months, 4 days, 16 minutes, 16 seconds.
That is where I stand against alcohol.
I feel very so good. I wake up really early each day to run. This would be a no go when I drank. I no longer have to hide my vice from people. I am free to go places anytime of the day. I am not as stressed and depressed. I have energy and don’t binge on food like I used to. I lost 12 lbs in a couple months. I am able and wanting to spend more time doing the things I love. I am so proud I made it this far and when I see others doing it I feel so good for them. I am rooting for everybody who is fighting an addiction right now. This portal has been a major tool in keeping me accountable to myself. Thank you everybody. 
Wow! Thank you for opening up like that. I’m 9’days sober
Day 23. Dead tired, but sober. Had a good chat with work (boss, colleagues, my team, etc) about expectations and work-life balance, etc (after pulling an almost all-nighter each week the last three weeks) and everyone is supportive - now i just have to do my part to protect my own time and enforce my own boundaries!
Triggers galore…
Contractor wanting to show appreciation to me for working to meet deadlines has apparently arranged delivery of a wine and gift basket. The company that makes these called me today and said they don’t deliver during covid, but I can come and pick it up tomorrow. 
@Chiron I might not have said anything, but since you did, I will too. Happy Birthday to us! In 2 days (on Friday) - I’ll be 25 days sober on my 50th birthday. I’m happy and excited about it, but in a nerdy, quiet way. 
Was thinking I could get away with no public celebrations… i don’t live close to my besties and we have a hiking trip planned in August anyway, but now I know that my work colleagues here and my neighbours know about my birthday, and I anticipate that I will be gifted no less than a half dozen bottles of wine within 48 hours. H.E.L.P. They are all really kindhearted people, and we get along well, but (no judgment!) most of them are not exactly embracing a TS lifestyle! And I haven’t shared my 23 days of sobriety, which is easy as we are still working from home…
I’m taking Friday/bday off work and have a good full fun day planned here (hike and yoga, 90 min massage, i bought a beautiful new journal , sushi zoom dinner, online music fest with a bestie at night) but I think I am going to get out of town now for the rest of the weekend to avoid the invites here and wine gifts. I feel unsettled thinking about what well-meaning folks want to do to celebrate. Am gonna throw my dog and my tent and some seltzer in the car and get out of here early on Saturday morning… my sobriety is still too new. Thoughts?
@Chiron you and your cat are welcome to join me! Or I can just tell my world here that my dog and I are spending bday with my younger twin and her cat - me on my trails and she on her treadmill! I hope your cat makes a solid recovery. I understand your fears about loss, especially right now, and wish many more days of love and companionship to you and your kitty.
This is long and rambly. Thanks to anyone who is still here!
G’night, beautiful humans. Thank you for sharing your stories and your strength,
M 
307 Days. After a long hard day of work, I went to a comedy show. Well, I didn’t actually go anywhere. It was on zoom. My daughter and I had dinner while watching and laughing our asses off. This is the closest I’ve come to “dinner and a show” in a long time. There were 4 comedians and they all had experience performing on this platform. I guess it’s the new norm for them and us. My company and clients have been doing these for free to help boost moral. I really enjoy them and look forward to more.
That sounds so fun! A good way to be entertained during this corona mess.
Day 36. My day started out horrible. Woke up filled with anxiety and extremely depressed. Figured I should go take care of some things so I could keep my mind busy but my car was dead. Waiting for a jump made me want to crawl back in bed. But I didn’t. Got to where I needed to be just to find out they were closed. Came back home and did busy work around the house on all the things I have been neglecting. The moment I stopped and sat down the tears began to flow and they just won’t stop. But I am still sober and that I shall be grateful for.
Day 675 
It was an emotional rollercoaster yesterday 
After I told you guys here that my son would get released from the hospital his back pain returned. So again they had to give him an intravenous drip to help him. They decided to operate inmediatly to get the kidney stone out.
So he got surgery yesterday and it went well.
It’s not the vacation I expected to have
But still sober and happy my son is pain free again. Kidney stones are very painfull I know now
Good morning my lovely ts family. Just checking in while I’m able to sit peacefully before my day starts . I’m off work today and going to get my hair cut and coloured I can’t wait as I’d never be able to afford this treat if I was still using drugs . I’m also going to see my new sponsor to do some more step work I’m so greatful and blessed to have her in my life she’s helping me so much and I’m feeling so positive about my recovery again I feel like I’m buzzing with joy and I really like my new found happiness. I’m sleeping so much better now I’m on new meds I still wake up a couple of times a night but it’s no where near as bad as before. I hope and pray for each and every one of you on here and wish you all a blessed day x
Wishing your son a quick recovery. 
Blessings and sobriety!
