OCD much? 
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Hey, I totally hear you!!! No rule says you have to be social for your birthday (happy early birthday btw 
) Right now, focus on getting well. Thank goodness youāre sober right now to be there for your cat. Iām sending strength and prayers 
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Congrats on one year!!! 
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Congratulations TJ! Youāre such an inspiration to everyone here; with sobriety and staying fit!
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Oh wow!! That is fantastic! Congratulations on your year!!!
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@SassyRocks Thank you. I appreciate that. I donāt have kids, nor will I ever have them, and so my cats have been as close as theyāve come. My other cat was genuinely like a child. It was like having a forever 2 year old without opposable thumbs who couldnāt articulate his words. It was hard to let him go after 11 years of having him in my life, constantly needing to see everything I was doing. Am I chopping vegetables? He had to watch. Am I painting the wall? He had to watch.
Zelda has been less like a child than a room mate Iām really comfortable with who is also family. People have children who are driving now for the same amount of time Iāve had her in my life. Iāve always been most comfortable with animals, and it would be a deep loss for her to pass away. I know that I will eventually have to say goodbye, and that 18 is an age that a large majority of cats never see; but itās just that right now I donāt have the emotional reserves to deal with the loss.
@Girlinterrupted Thatās true. Iāve had several friends pestering me about what I want to do for my birthday; which, I mean, is cool to know I have such great mates. I just feel torn. I feel like I should do something because it would be good for me. And it would. It really would. But itās like when you know you shouldnāt eat cake for breakfast, but then youāre likeā¦ fuck it, and eat the cake anyway. haha Maybe thatās a bad analogy. Anyway, weāll get information back on the xrays as late as tomorrow. Thank you for your words and seriously good luck with the kitten situation! Mama cat should be okay. Most cats get through the birthing just fine. Sometimes a kitten might pass away, but if that happens, itās not your fault, and the mama cat wonāt dwell on it.
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Awesome. Congrats on your year!! 
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So I got 5 months and 19 days today and so far I have done really good with not having many urges to use of thinking about using again at all really this is mainly due to the fact that I had open heart surgery recently for a heart disease I got from using needles for a long time. I almost died so I know what can happen if I go back to that and that has helped a lot knowing that and also being on methadone but yesterday they did a random per test which Iām fine with Iām not dirty but I had just went to the bathroom so I couldnāt go and they have a 15 minute limit of you canāt per in that time itās marked as a dirty bottle automatically and now I could be discharged from the program and I know that I canāt cold turkey from 95 mg of methadone I wonāt be able to do it the withdrawals are so horrible I canāt go through that I know that if this happens Iāll have to get high Iāll have to use heroin to of withdrawals and I donāt want to Iām not looking forward to going back to that lifestyle and everything else that comes with it I donāt want to do that again and Iām scared and donāt know what to do right now and I really really need some support.
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Today was fantastic. Fuck Netflix and television for now, life is so much better without it. The day started off with my boss complimenting my work via text. Very motivating
The rest of the day I didnāt really do much except for listening to podcasts while building some LEGO sets. So simple, yet so calming. Also finally went to a restaurant with my mom to celebrate I passed school a few weeks back.
She turned on the TV in front of me. That was a tough one. I have always been intensely curious, so as soon as I saw she turned on the TV I wanted to figure out what she was watching. Turned up the volume of my podcast and eventually asked her if she would mind watching TV upstairs since I wanted to lessen my TV usage. Managed to sit an entire 10 minutes in front of that TV building with my LEGO and listening to my podcast until it was turned off. Proud moment for me
I have had this very strong headache all evening, but somehow it doesnāt bother me because Iām so happy and energetic
Good night everyone. Sleep tight or enjoy your day. May recovery come to you all as if itās always been there. And if you do suffer from cravings, remember, never crave alone
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Just know that it will always be you who is in control of your actions. No one can make you put that needle back in your arm except you. You had the strength to go without it for 5 months and 19 days. You can pull through this too
And know that if you do stick the needle back in that itās very likely you die. Not meant to depress you, but to motivate you
I understand completely. I have shared my life with cats since I was a child. Always at least one, usually 3 or 4 living with me. Sadly, I had to say goodbye to all of them. Many lived a very long life as well. It has been a blessing sharing our worldsā¦And a deep pain in saying goodbye so many times. So many beautiful memories. We have two cats now, our little Sassy 
is 17 and also prone to UTIs. Clifford is a big ole alley cat full of personality +.
Will keep you and Zelda in my heart and prayers!
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Iām so sorry about your previous losses. I hope you continue to have many good years with Sassy and Clifford. 
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No I know that is my biggest motivation right now the fact that Iāll probably did if I do that and I may not have always loved myself as my life but I do now and I donāt intend for that to change. Ye and I know Iām in control of my actions so Iām doing everything I can to not panic too much and tell myself that s the only option be wise I always assume the worst and Iāve always just self sabotaged and just quit because I felt like I didnāt have a chance the worst possible scenario is always whatās going to happen.
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@TeejLazer Yesss! Super congratulations!
@Flamestar Hugs. It feels sucky but get back on it.
@Chiron Hugs, pets can be such a worry, especially when u have had them a long time and they r a member of ur family.
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Come back soon! I need my sober twin 
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Welcome back. Looks like we both will be posting same sober time. Letās hit 365+ days 
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Hi Everyone , hope all our dreams of maintaining the sobriety is going well. That we are able to ressist the temptations and embrace the goodness of sobriety.
As for me I am on my 42nd day of sobriety checking in to maintain my focus for day 43 of sobriety to be Glorious and free.
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Iād wear those plastic face shields!
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April, look on Amazon.
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