Have been feeling pretty itchy recently, that underlying sense of dissatisfaction and like nothing really matters. The wanting something more but not knowing what, even though I know I already have enough.
I have been thinking a lot about cognitive dissonance - what we project/ what we think/ what we feel/ how we act. I was talking to a friend about my CBT and how I have low self-esteem, she is one of my best mates (albeit she lives 200 miles away) and she said she never would have guessed.
Joined a Recovery Dharma zoom meeting on Saturday and plan to dip into that some more. Hoping it will help me with some focus and clarity, to get a better sense of myself and work on being more honest about what that looks like.
Thanks, @Rockstar24777, it has been a journey with lots of ups and downs. It definitely has made me aware of my need for self care and how my choices in behavior impacts my emotions. It has been humbling.
One week! Feel much less pathetic when I have a week under my belt. So hot and need things to do now my work has finished so might try to make shiso (Japanese herb that we have tons of in our garden) juice. Would be another af drink to keep in the house too.
Whew, what a trying day. First day of school for my daughter so that is awesome, got a promotion lined up at work and just waiting on the official offer letter so that is awesome, and got some stuff in place (accepted to a school) to continue my education so that is awesome…unfortunately it was tainted by a very large negative event, not to get into details, but it is a very serious issue (serious enough to weigh heavily against all of the good). I am hanging in there though, and choosing to focus on the good stuff. Here is to another sober day!
just LOL I love Conan. Almost as funny as you Conor! 
so cute!
