Actually feeling a bit rubbish today, gave myself mild heat stroke yesterday, still headachey and queasy, and my massive mouth ulcer will not heal (probably because I am drinking loads of ice coffee and cola). 
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Yay for 10 days!
Have you tried gargling with baking soda, salt and warm water?
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Show us some tunes
No, I haven’t, I will try it, thanks!
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Yeah that’s a huge one if she wants kids and you don’t, I feel for you man. In relationships compromise can settle differences but there is no compromise there, no meeting in the middle. It takes time to heal from lost relationships, i lost 1 serious one in my life and i let one get away that i thought i shouldn’t have BUT it all happened so i could meet my wife.
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Last night of my 8 night camping trip (7 nights without my wife) and i managed to stay sober. This 300 milestone combined with camping and no wife has been my ultimate test so far oh yeah and there was a wedding reception mixed in there too. It’s been little rough but I’m grateful that i made it through this trip, when i wake up ill have this damn milestone and i can work on making it to the 400 club.
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Congratulations Dan! That shows a lot of strength and conviction. 
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Thanks @anon79808082 for the most part the days are much easier now, there are even some (very few) days when alcohol doesn’t even cross my mind but there are some when its just sheer will power to get through.
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Yeah I was indeed. I thought I entered the wrong building.
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336 Days. Another hectic work day. I ended up booking 2 meetings at the same time today. I wish my outlook calendar gave me a warning when I accepted the 2 invites. I attended both, 1 on zoom and the other on teams. Talk about multi tasking. I could only get sound thru my laptop for 1 so I had to use my phone too. Keeping up on muting and unmuting the right meeting was a challenge. I survived and everyone was happy in the end. Going forward, I’ll definitely be checking my calendar like a normal person.
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I would like to see that on video! Great job!
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it’s called grieving, and although it sucks to feel this way, it’s natural. Ending a multi-year relationship ain’t easy. I know. Married at age 21. Father at age 22. Separated at age 29, divorced at 30. Lot’s of grieving and growing in those two years alone.
But here’s the good news: I met “the one” at age 32, Married her at age 33. 22 years we’ve been together.
Sometimes you gotta plod through the mud to get to the meadow.
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Checking in day 26
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Day 15. Is it him? Or me? Probably both. Ugh. Had a good day alone with my daughter, outdoorsy, parks, whatever, normal. Last night when I got home from work I could tell my man had gotten into some opiates. That’s been going pretty good since he left his old job, where our dealer works, and now works with his brother. Nonetheless he admitted it immediately(bc its blatantly obvious) and said he didn’t expect it (as in he wasn’t searching, it just showed up). He acted very nice and loving, which is unusual, as he normally acts like me blacked out(picking fights and doing random bs for no apparent reason at all hours of the night). It still put me off yet I tried to enjoy the night. It went well. In the morning I found new pill residue, card marks, and a straw laying out after he went to work. I almost text him immediately about it but I’m usually a bitch in the morning so i thought twice and let it slide. No contact all day until he got home a couple hours ago. As soon as he got out of his car (I was outside smoking) he was talking shit about this ‘dream job’ hes been wanting so bad. He has never spoken like this about it sober. I could tell he was still in it (honestly he doesnt even have to speak, his entire face changes, but he doesnt believe that). I cant contain it and blow up with everything I just said. He denies everything and runs inside. I can hear him talking to ‘me’, thru walls, shutting off the lights and hiding out in the bedroom. I didnt want to engage so I stayed outside a while. Once I came inside, a bit ago, I’ve found the shower curtain ripped from the rod, hooks broken everywhere. Is he mad that I’m right? Basically every time I accuse him of using he denies it immediately but admits it days later. I guess I’ve done the same with drinking but tbh this occurence has been pretty equal since we met. I want to have the original patience I had but hes wore it thin. And he always brings up how I’ve acted in the past to defend himself. He has dealt with worse things from me, no doubt about that, but I’ve dealt with his issues longer?..Ugh. I just ache to be sober together. He’s so radiant as his true self. Such a bright light to this world. He just doesn’t see it. Sorry this is so long. Just a part of my life that’s always in the background.
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Day 10 is closed. Day 11 opens at sunrise…be well.
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Day 52.
Was out of cell range for a bit. Hiked into and camped at that little lake last night with my pal.
Tucking in now dead tired, contented, and sober. Of course, there’s more to tell than that (mental associations and continued rewiring of my brain – a hike does not equal a cold beverage on a patio! who knew? a hike is better followed by a seltzer and double espresso, feeling contented, and like I’m starting to live my life more true to me…), but sleep beckons.
I found myself smiling when my mind did not wander to a beverage, but over here, to what a constant and supportive presence this place is, and how grateful I am for it, for you. Here’s a meadow with alpine flowers from this morning – a bouquet of gratitude from me to you.
Thank you for sharing your stories and your days. 
@Jennajen if you just be you, you will always be enough – and a gift to the world. Big hug.
@jjcarson92 breakups are hard. you will get through this. I believe in you.
@Jonachav123 glad you reached out and posted. Please keep coming back. Grief is so rough. I believe in you and your ability to do this sober.
@Dan531 you’re on a streak! Congrats - sounds like a lot o’ firsts.
@Misokatsu @Will3 @Olivia @Natnat @funnydad - days stacking up all over the place! I celebrate you 
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Sorry you’re having to go through this Laura. I know it’s not easy. Thoughts and prayers are with you my friend. Stay focused on taking care of your daughter and your sobriety. Proud of you. Try to make it to meetings and stay connected here in the TS community. Congratulations on your 15 days of sobriety. Keep up the good work and stay positive in your resolve. Awesome photo of the two of you earlier today by the way. Green is an awesome color. 
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thanks Donna, and you were right! no one really had a problem with it, I think i was blowing it up a little too much in my head 
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Daily checking, all good. Have a nice end of the week everyone
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