Thank you! It seemed like it took longer than forever:sweat_smile:. Let’s go get the 400 club:fist_right:
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Absolutely!!! 
Thinking ‘400‘ might take my mind off the one year milestone. 
… Nah. 
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Day 70 clean and sober! Thank you for helping me walk this path you guys have an AWESOME DAY!!! 
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Oooh, pretty!!! I’m going to steal. It has a calming effect on me
… ps: Congratulations on your numbers!!! 
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Thanks its been a battle😉
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i know right!!! Good thing is that i have zero problems with the 10 month mark lol
What do you find is hard still, with the battle?
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Have you considered the possibility that his addiction is so strong that this may be an impossibility?
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Day 30
Just finished another shift totally love this work… feeling content at moment which is different…
Some good and positive posts today with numbers i aspire to… Happy Friday all
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The finality of quitting once in a while… knowing I can never drink again when in fact I can, I just don’t want to. Once i get my head right it’s pretty easy. It’s easy most times, and even when it’s hard it’s nothing like it was in the first few days/weeks.
The ugliness of my active addiction fades so I need to remind myself when that happens. I’m nowhere near picking up but i also understand that relapsing happens well before your first drink. I need to constantly build up my sober defense and sometimes it’s easy to get sloppy with that work. Great question, it helped me to write out this answer.
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Thanks for the pic. Such a cute little person 
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I continue to remake myself daily. Used peppermint essentials oil to help clear my sinuses this morning and used my new diffuser to infuse my home with lemongrass.
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Thank you! He’s kinda a big deal to me 
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@Dragonflygirl82 @Misokatsu @Rockstar24777 @anon79808082 @Dan531 @Becsta @Yoda-Stevie @Fargesia_murielae @Mno @Fireweed
Thank you all - apologies to anyone I missed who responded, there was a lot! Thank you all so much.
I probably will tell her how I’m feeling eventually, even if I’m not sure what I want to do yet. It’s getting harder and harder to carry these things with me. I also think it’s easy to romanticize the past, I mean there were other issues present, just that the kids thing was the biggest one, and one where there’s not really a compromise available.
I need to keep in mind some truths, and maybe it will help. These truths being that in losing my partner, I lost pretty much my entire reality. Her and our life together was everything for me, I put all of my eggs in that basket. Our house was my home. The two of us and our dogs were my family. Her parents and extended family became my family, as I am not close with my American side of my own family. I neglected everything outside of our life and little suburban bubble. Friends drifted away, had their own things going on. I lost all of it, had to move out of my home and into a building and town full of strangers. My entire life, washed away - outside of my parents, my dog, and my job – everything else, gone. My whole way of living and my personality became tailored to her and our life together. Now I don’t know who I am. That wouldn’t be easy for anyone.
It also cannot be understated how much the pandemic compounds all this. I forget that sometimes. Everyone’s life is essentially on pause, to some degree or another. Even pre-pandemic, I think it’s pretty hard to meet new people as an adult, let alone forge new friendships. I struggle with the concept of having to start from scratch. I don’t know if I have the energy to sink into new social or romantic relationships, it just seems so daunting and exhausting. I also worry about my back problems, as it makes some activities not feasible and sometimes having to be on my feet or sitting for more than 30 minutes can aggravate it. Makes it hard to go out and do things. It also has taken a serious toll on my mental health, both due to the constant worry, as well as bitterness that I have a chronic back issue at 31 that’s just going to get worse, despite all the time I put into tending to it. I worry that someone won’t want to go into a relationship with someone who is limited in that way.
I guess it’s just a sense of loss - losing my best friend, as well as my life as I knew it. Sometimes I feel like a failure, putting all that time into building something that just didn’t work out.
To top it all off, I think back to when we first started dating, and the year or two before – man, I was all about living. I was outgoing and positive. Then over the last 2-3 years, I’ve just gotten so tired and unenthusiastic and often pessimistic. What happened to me? And it begs the chicken-or-the-egg question - did I become unhappy over the course of the relationship, or did my depression just overtake me and cause this whole mess? So I wonder how my mental health factored into this - was it an effect, or was it the cause?
Anyhow. Last night I tried doing that exercise where you try to talk to yourself as if you were talking to a friend in a tough spot. Surprisingly, I was able to be so kind to myself. I’ve not been able to really do that. It did help a bit. Going to try that again. Also reading a book of daily meditations by the Dalai Lama.
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Yeah, I know he probably wont ever be completely sober. I know not to expect that from him. And honestly I should have slowed my reaction down last night. I get too stuck in my head and then things come out wrong. I need to get back into my step work to continue learning better ways to deal with issues, bc I was making a lot of progress while doing so back in Feb/Mar.
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I love that picture; he’s a lucky kid to have you for a Dad, Dan!
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Nice one mate
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Sounds like your whole world got turned upsidedown and the pandemic doesn’t help one bit!! I agree its so easy to romanticize the past but its important that you focus on the reasons you broke up in the first place. That way you dont end up going back and end up having to restart the break up process again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!! I dont know how long it will take but I can guarantee you will one day wake up happier than ever once again. Sounds like you need a new community of friendship, love, and support, since you lost that in the break up. You are missing community!! I remember you saying you were interested with improv? What ever happened with that? I am in my 30s too and socializing sounds exhausting lol so I understand that. You are right that this pandemic has a lot of people feeling alone. It is tough. I am glad you are trying to be kind to yourself though and you always have us here! Sending you all the good vibes… 
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Congrats for 70s! 
If every day was a mile you’d be long gone from where you started 
Keep on trekking bro! 
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