checking in with day one for another time
6 Likes
Thanks Olivia!!! F*** yeah!!! 
Hey, thanks. You are right about community. In general, I think I need to focus on building up a new life of my own, reestablish who I am, new community – before I even consider any sort of new romantic involvement with anyone. That’s pretty far from my mind and doesn’t interest me at all right now.
I did look into improv, and there’s an established comedy/improv company in the city that I know of. They offer 3-month improv workshops, 7 or 8 different levels. A little bit pricey and I’d rather not go into the city, but I’m willing to. They just aren’t scheduling anything right now because of the pandemic, so who knows when they’ll be up and running again.
I keep driving to figure out this back problem of mine, as it has played a major part in this “downward turn” I’ve seen in myself. It makes me nervous about/not willing to spend a day out and about. I can’t participate in athletics, which was my main source of community and comaraderie, pre-relationship…I can’t make dynamic or sudden movements. The only reason I can still lift is because it’s controlled and linear movement…and even then, I can’t push myself. Just recently a 3rd doctor has told me I should probably quit running, so that’s likely done for.
IDK, I have a hard time accepting it. At 31, it makes me feel like my life is over because extended sitting/standing can be so problematic. I’ve tried PT, Chiro, Yoga, extended rest, among other things…not to mention 2-3 hours per day dedicated to icing it and stretching it. It really sucks feeling like you can’t move freely or go live your life. I’m still researching and trying different things though. But it’s been 2.5 years 
Three doctors have chalked it up to degenerative spinal arthritis, which is apparently a “tough shit” kind of thing.
4 Likes
I found that whole thing odd; just because you didn’t show for a few meetings? And did you have a sponsor, @anon60334405 that dropped you because of that?
1 Like
That’s EXACTLY what I’m going through too @TMAC I can soooo relate to making her your world and sacrificing all for love and for her. I think it’s romantic as f*** the way we can love someone but I’m learning just like you that we have to have some boundaries because when it ends we are left with nothing and all alone. Regardless of the pain that can come from being in a relationship I want a girlfriend so bad again lol it’s worth the pain to love deeply. Anyway I’m proud of you for staying strong through this and just think… We get to build a brand new life for ourselves any way we want to so let’s make it an AWESOME ONE!!! Have a great rest of your day bro you’re doing great
4 Likes
Are you going to stop vaping once the smoking cravings are as good as gone?
1 Like
Thanks Donna, I’m lucky to have him for my son.
1 Like
Thank you, funny how they make it harder… maybe because i subconsciously associate celebrating with drinking still???
1 Like
That’s great, when doesn’t matter yet as long as you will do so and as long as it keeps you away from the cancer sticks
1 Like
Thanks, I’m thinking it’s gonna be rough but I’m preparing best i can… gotta make it there first anyways 
1 Like
It’s great that you are, we don’t know when that last relapse will be but we’ll definitely never find out if we don’t bother turning up. Wishing you well. 
Well done on your first ciggy free week conor 
1 Like
No my sponsor relpased again. He had less sobriety then me but I gave him a shot bc he has been in the rooms for a while. So they just hooked me up with someone else. I even said I’d like to choose my sponsor and the guy said you need a sponsor for today just take it one day at a time so I said ok.
3 Likes
Mike, only you could be in a situation like that, lol… 
1 Like
6 Likes
LOL! I just came back to the computer and laughed so loud, 
1 Like
Checking in on day 74 
6 Likes
Day 395. Rolling right along. Easy Friday work wise, actually watching Mad Max (don’t tell anyone!)… ready for the weekend, nothing major going on, just been a long week.
Found this gem on Facebook. It’s from a show I went to. Someone did a stage dive right into my face. Luckily (?) my tooth breaking and some swelling around my eye were the worst to happen. Show ruled though, wouldn’t change it for anything.
Have a strong day!!!
12 Likes
That back pain sounds terrible. I was just looking into it and there are quite a few FB groups you could join for support. Maybe someone there can have some kind of idea to help or even just find someone to talk to about it. I would also look into finding a support group where you live.
My fiance suffers from back pain too and he has a tear in his shoulder. It seems like each week he is going to more and more doctors visits and they still dont know whats wrong with him…he tried PT but that made it worse.
I get so frustrated because he is unable to help with our toddler. I am basically on my own. If he does one thing I have to hear him complain all day. He no longer wants anymore kids because he says he will never be able to hold it. Which I am totally fine with not having anymore. He is 27. Anyway, you are not alone!
1 Like
Thanks. No FB for me, but I think there are probably groups on reddit who can serve as support. Good idea.
Truthfully that was one of my many concerns surrounding kids as well. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to physically do a lot of Dad stuff…picking them up would probably be fine…but horsing around on the floor, dancing with them, family hikes, playing sports with them if thats what they get into, etc. I feel like I couldn’t participate and that makes me sad to think of, even hypothetically.
I can teach them to be a good person, and be there for them (you bet your ass I’d be there for them no matter what), etc…but those other things, maybe not.
2 Likes