Checking in before bed. Feeling a lot better after church and getting some work done. Prayers that I’ll be able to sleep tonight. Already took my melatonin. 
Goodnight all. 31 days sober.
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Checking in day 29
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@050Nl Joost my friend, I’m very happy to see you’re staying strong. Praying all goes well at your hospital visit. Sending you lots of love. 
Give Nala snuggles and kisses for me. 
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Grateful is good! 
For me the days around 700 were emotional and difficult. One week to go and you are there Brooke!
And then you have to face another milestone: 2 years…
I like and hate milestones at the same time 
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Hi Joost, goodmorning
Happy you’re still around!
Good luck at the hospital.
339 Days. Had a nice sunny day with my daughter at the pool today. I love summer and I hate that it’s winding down already. There’s only 2 more weekends left. I’m gonna try and schedule a day or 2 off from work and take her to the beach before it ends, even though we can’t enjoy the boardwalk with covid going on.
My husband made a nice comment tonight. He’s acknowledging that I’m coming up on 1 year and even mentioned he’s proud of me. Now that he’s sober a week, he’s thinking much clearer and is very aware of what’s going on. Our dinners have been pleasant. No more anxiety, wondering what he’s gonna say to piss me off or send my daughter into a meltdown. I pray it sticks this time.
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Day 55.
Decided to cut my visit here, to my hometown, short by a few days. On the up side, I’ve seen pals, had 3 great hikes, 3 visits with my Mom, and more. I’ve also, for the first time in the almost 4 years since I last moved away, had my first sober trip. True, some previous trips my drinking may not have been out of hand, but still - I would have been looking forward to my next beverage.
So why leave now? I feel a bit weak for needing to, but I sense I’m getting close to my limits. And while no one here is pressuring me to drink, I’m realizing how much effort it takes to reinforce my sobriety (even to myself) in places or during activities, etc where drinking (even socially acceptable amounts) would have been the norm for me, and I just want to go home now and exhale. Hope I’m not letting anyone (pals, etc) down - I’ve chalked it up to work/life demands instead of explaining otherwise.
One day at a time.
G’night - thanks for being here. 
@Claartje one month tomorrow! Congrats!
@Lisa07 glad your husband is proud of you! I know we all are 
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I’m worried about that milestone to be honest. My one year was great. But I don’t know about this one. It just seems so crazy that I’m even still on this path. I think in the deep recesses of my mind I told myself- I’ll aim for a year and see how I feel - but never really believing I would get that far let alone almost 2 years. Like a “this wasn’t supposed to happen” “is this really happening?” "This is really real now " type of thought process. I don’t know if that makes sense.
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It took some waiting for…but it was worth it
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I understand. It helps me to get back to the one day approach. Milestones makes me worrying to much. Also about the future, the rest of my life sober. I does get easier though: the milestone thing. I was sober for 5 years before and milestones were less important at the end.
But the tricky thing then is (at least it was for me) is romanticizing the alcohol and thinking you are cured 
I learned the hard way I wasn’t.
Hang in there lady, we can do it!
Focus on today!
And yes it’s really happening because you want it and worked hard for it!!
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Day 0…
Gone from feeling happy, healthy and confident to an absolutely unhealthy waste of space.
Here we go again I guess
Hope everyone else is alright
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@Joy Happy birthday!
@Natnat 10 days! You rock!
@Jennajen If you’re using it as prescribed, and you have a legit need, then I’d say you’re good. Medications that can be abused still have their intended purpose that they are helpful for. I know how hard it can be though, that feeling of, “maybe I’m doing something wrong…” But you’re not.
@Hotic Congrats on day 600! You’re doing amazing.
@marcusmaximus2000 Looks great!
@S.Rose143 Welcome. Good for you for deciding to make this change!
@Robketts Day 1000?!? Very nice! Talk about killing it.
@Misokatsu Good job. Distraction is definitely a good way to go. You can do it!
@Lisa07 Whenever you post that fireworks gif I just want to sit there and watch it haha I’m so glad to hear the husband has been sober for a week. You deserve some peace in your home. You’ve worked really hard on yourself. I hope he follows suit.
@Dazercat That looks so peaceful. Thanks for sharing.
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@M-be-free49 You get your own mention on this post instead of my last one because apparently we can only mention 10 people in one post haha.
Good for you for recognizing how things affect you subconsciously. Even if you are letting other people down right now because you can’t be there, you have to be there for yourself. You are just as important as anyone else and it’s good that you’re not letting yourself down.
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there’s a good argument to be had there but I think it’s ok. But be careful and wise. And under doctors supervision. And doctor should know your an addict as well. A good friend of mine was pressured to be off all drugs in one of his AA groups. Really bad idea for someone who actually needed meds under doctor supervision. Mood stabilizing drugs are different from mood altering drugs.
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Good that you came clean about your slip. Day 0 is not bad as long as you don’t stay there. You’re definitely not waste of space. You can do this!! Have a better day!
Day 229. A new week started. So lot’s of new things to do to keep my mind occupied!
I hope this week will go well for all of us!
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- Up for a early morning lift. Have a good Monday.
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- Coffee. I’m a bit anxious about starting work on painting my kitchen but I’ll just go ahead and start clearing it out today. My only remedy for anxiety is doing stuff and certainly not postponing it. I know myself pretty well in that respect. So here I go.
Yesterday was good. Had a very nice ride down to the ocean. Lots of wind but I felt pretty strong. At the beach I felt sorry I couldn’t go for a walk because of my bike shoes and road bike that I can’t leave behind. Will switch to my other bike soon that can be locked and have a good hike. Have a good week all! Sober and clean of course. Love from Amsterdam and the North Sea beach. The pic is of a beach walk some time ago.
@Hotic 600 is awesome! Congrats! @Robketts Wow! 1000! Huge! Congrats!
@Joy Happy belated birthday wishes Joy!
@050Nl Good to see you Joost. Hou vol ouwe.
@M-be-free49 Not weak. Strong. Knowing you own abilities, weaknesses and limits is a sign of maturity and inner strength. Have a safe trip home.
@Jonachav123 Happy to see you sober after what must have been a very hard week Jonathan. Onward and upward friend.
@Jennajen I struggle with the same question. I do like what Beth said about it:
For me personally, choosing between meds and suicidal thoughts and ideations I know what I choose. I want to live.
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