7 weeks and 2 days sober for me.
I had some really horrible news this weekend, about the suicide of somebody close. It has hit us all really hard, and was a massive sobriety test. Especially watching everybody around me popping bottles of anything to numb their pain. Last night I came SO close to drinking and I still feel quite sick with something I can only describe as desperation?!
It was the first time since giving up that I felt I wouldnt actually be able to not drink.
I thought I would be greatful when I woke up, but I just have the lingering craving again today.
I guess when traumatic things happen its a coping mechanism, and a real test to see if I can keep going.
I found myself last night saying over in my head that I dont have a problem so just have a few and go to bed, but something kept telling me no.
Super hard week this one 
Strangely, you and I had eerily similar dreams last night…and I never dream. Well, at least I hardly ever remembet them.
Wow that’s pretty weird… I hope you have a great day today bro stay strong 
You’re in my prayers. Yes, we absolutely used to use drugs and alcohol to deal with trauma. Now we have the opportunity to feel the uncomfortable feelings and come out stronger on the other side. Proud of you for not giving in because it will only make you feel worse than before. Stay strong and have a great day!!!
I’ve heard it said that sometimes God’s rejection is God’s protection. Proud of you Jenna, have a great day today!!!
I am so so sorry for your traumatic loss. Hang in there with your cravings, Dani - your gratitude to be sober will outweigh these. More importantly though, take care of your grieving heart! I know firsthand this doesn’t happen when we numb, or try to numb the pain.
Keep checking in here, go easy on yourself - don’t ask for much more of yourself than feeling your feelings and meeting your basic needs (sleep, eat, rest) - and know that you can do this, sober.
Hugs and 
to you.
Day 8
Had such a frustrating weekend where nothing seemed to go as planned. Nothing major but just lots of little things building up. I was supposed to be getting married this Sept 5th but we decided to postpone a while back because of COVID, just feeling generally sad and low about that as we get closer to it. I guess I just find it hard having to sit with feelings instead of having a drink of something to quieten things down, but i feel like i’m learning, slowly.
That’s a real bummer about your wedding. My son got married last year and often times my wife and I think of all the people that have probably had to cancel there’s this year. Such a joyous occasion to have to postpone and the logistics nightmare I can’t imagine. Stay strong with your feelings. That’s why we are all here. So we can all learn to feel again and accept them and move on. With all the rotten shit going on this year I’m pretty happy I picked this year to be sober.
Atta boy!! It is truly amazing how good we can feel again with a few weeks under our belt. Keep up the great work.
Checking in. And for the first time I’m going to say or actually write:
Hello I’m Eric. I’m an alcoholic 
Hey all, checking in on day 39 .days are going along nicely,feels a million miles from where I was 39 days ago ,I’m grateful my home group is back into action.
1 month…
high five
Hope you’ve smiled through your day on your achievement.
waves
You are more than an alcoholic, please remember that.
Checking in at 23 months today. A month away from 2 years. I had a great clinic appointment and much needed therapy session after. Going to try and get back on track with my workouts and eating better, I’ve fallen off the wagon with healthy diet and exercise. But overall, feeling good today.
Checking in day 2
@Nealj121 this is a pretty good place to hang out. Although when it hits 2,500 posts there will be a new one set up 
Late check-in today. Had class almost all day, did another closet cleaning in between and went to see the piercer again. Last week I changed the nosepin to a ring, ring was to big so this weekend I changed it to a smaller ring, that I got an allergic reaction to. So I’m back to the pin again if it doesn’t work this time we’re going to try a plastic pin instead and I’ll be able to at least wear a “diamond”. If I’m unlucky I’ll get an ugly scar as well. But I hope for the best.
Just dropped the boys off at the scouts thought I was gonna have to stay, but they didn’t want the parents there because of the Corona Outbreak.
Working on staying sober day 3.
Just getting to know my classmates via zoom and FB. Half of the class is online and we’re supposed to be divided into smaller study groups Thursday. We’re going to work with the group for half of this course. I don’t know what will happened later. We all just did a short presentation of ourselvesxI didn’t mention that I’m in recovery and I’m not sure I will. I do seem to be among the older ones, this far there’s only one in “my age” 10 years older than me, the other ones seems to be somewhere between 18-25.
I’m about to pick the boys up in 1,5 hours not enough to walk home and do something so I’m staying outside. River at one side, the fields on the other. It’s not warm but the weather is nice.
Nearly bought some cider about 30 minutes ago for a night of drinking and drugs but managed to get out of the shop. The photo is my two girls. Alcohol stole them from me for 20 years, A few months of sobriety brought them back. When I relapse I stop contacting them bc I feel like a worthless human being and father. I’m still not a great dad but I’m their dad and he’s got more love to offer when clean and in recovery. We are all something to someone so let’s be worthy of their love.
Pray for others brother. Don’t pray for our selfish needs. Praying for others will free you of the needs you are seeking
Thank you so much 
X