Thank you @M-be-free49 I love that we can all support each other here. Thank you for the words of encouragement 
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This is a great point, Paul. I never thought of it that way. Some of our minds are used to partying after achieving things, so I guess this would apply to reaching milestones as well. 
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thank you for giving me this present to start a new day of with. How have you been? Good to ‘see’ you!
I was around here but quietly and for a while last 2 months a lot in hospitals etc… but that is finished for now so back to working on making my life as manageable as possible. 
pushing through the pain made (makes) it so easy to fall back in destruction. so working on finding ways to deal with the illness and building a more simple life with rest that holds space for a little fun as well. there has been enough fighting against life 
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I’m right behind you… !
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Day ☆F☆O☆U☆R☆ done and successfully sober. Woo hoo! Such a great feeling to get the days adding up! Time for bed. 
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Early check-in today.
I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Loved the meeting yesterday even if it was a short one for me. If my husband works this weekend I’ll log on for Saturday’s meeting to. If he’s home I’ll go Tuesday.
The timer here annoys me Today. I want to count it to four days, but I pushed reset Sunday eve so Timer says 3. I didn’t drink Sunday, but to be fair I wasn’t completely sober until I reseted either, so I guess I’m mostly annoyed at myself for having to do it in the first place.
No classes today, but I might have jumped on a class podcast project because I thought it sounded fun. I don’t really recognize myself since school started, I’m actually socializing or at least trying to. I’m talking, both online and in zoom, and doing things like jumping on this project saying “It sounds fun, let’s give it a try” I have np idea what I’m doing or why, and I’m fully aware about the fact that my social skills is equal with Sheldon Coopers (If you doesn’t know who that is check out big bang theory on YouTube)
Planning on making a chilli today, and keep purging my closet. I’m sure I don’t need a blazer in every color available, except blue, orange and yellow. (I do need an orange one.)
I’m also going to take a walk, unfortunately there was a woman dying (probably from suicide, but we don’t know that for sure) a few weeks ago, and she was eventually found on my favorite walking spot. And old suspension Bridge, I haven’t walked there since I just don’t feel comfortable doing that just yet.
Sun is shining here today, and the weekend is approaching. A good day to stay sober 
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- I always forget to bring something when I travel. I just hope it’s not essential. This time I did forget an essential part of my bike. So no biking as I found out when I got my bike out of the car after a 3 hour drive. My first reaction was to go straight back home. Second one was trying to get the part in a bike store. Three stores visited, no luck. The part is rare and has to be ordered.
Third reaction was to drink to forget my stupidity. Rejected that idea, it wasn’t that hard. So the fourth idea was the winning one. I went for a hike. Even though I didn’t bring my hiking shoes it was nice. Plenty of nature and quiet. And I’ll go for a longer hike today. Sober and clean. Have a good day all! Love from the Eifel.
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Is there somewhere that you can rent a bike just for the day? It looks beautiful for a hike though. 
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It sounds like you’re trying to get the most out of your school experience, even if you don’t feel like you’re the best at socializing. I think that’s a good thing. I understand what you mean about the timer thing. I suppose you could go in and edit the time to better reflect when you had to reset it? I’m sorry that you had to reset it, but it sounds like you’re back on track.
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Hi, Sophia. It was nice to see you in zoom last night. Have fun going thru your closets. Wishing you a great day from sunny Finland
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It’s my own road bike or nothing Donna. Hiking is lovely here. Thanks.
Well done Amy! Congrats on day 4! Way to go! 
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No need to lie, it IS going to be ok! I once had such a nightmare I woke up to that I literally fled my apartment (altho there was nothing there). Took me a couple of days to get off that emotional hole but with friends’ help, I did The nightmare took a deep fear of mine and threw it right to my face! Such a low blow 
Your pain is real but it’s not the truth about you nor your life. I think people here can ‘see’ you for what you truly are - worthy, accepted, committed just to name a few.
All the best for you today! 
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Alcohol 557
Tobacco 41
Not much to say today other than have a great sober day everyone 
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Went to bed early and woke up pretty early. 2 am here. I’ll go back to sleep in a bit but want to start the day off right and be accountable so I’m writing this quick note here. I have plans to go to the dog park after work, so tonight won’t be an issue. Yesterday I attempted to eat better too, and lo behold, I’m feeling a bit less bloated today. If nothing else that’s a victory for me. It’s something I’ve struggled with for 4 years and one of the biggest reasons I would drink- if I was drunk I didn’t notice how physically ill I felt. The booze in turn made me feel like garbage though too. I’m hoping to break this cycle and find some self love.
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I can’t stop crying. I’m on day 34 and for the last 3 days keep bursting into tears. At the gym, watching tv, when I firat wake up. Is this normal???
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I always do, I’m the eternal A student. The annoying person in group projects that knows it all and make sure everything gets done. The real life Welma that’ll slam you in the head with facts, and can’t understand how people can’t study for an exam and don’t care. Never failed a grade or an exam ever, I know I’m lucky.,things like facts just gets stuck in my head. But Cultural Science isn’t a subject you can study, well you can study culture but that doesn’t make it right or even make a fair analyze of it. It’s a highly social subject and a lot about being creative, create things and doing projects. So either it’s my brain knowing that and changing mindset here to keep getting those A’s or I’m actually turning into a kind of person I didn’t know I could be because of all the substance abuse in the past.
I could reset the timer, change a day but that would be lying to myself. I didn’t had the mindset for it Sunday morning, and I didn’t have a clear head at that time either. I’m back in track or at least trying, but the relapse bugs me more than I thought it should. Guess that’s a good thing, if I remember this feeling next time I’m thinking about doing something like that again.
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Hi, nice to hear that you guys also is having a sunny day. It’s still a bit cold here and it was really nice to see and talk to y’all. I didn’t want to leave. But night time can be a little difficult especially with special needs kids, all routines have to be exactly the same everyday.
I had fun going through my closet replacing things to get my desired style. Still missing some basics, those skinny fit jeans I’m wishing for seems to be a dead end. I’m having shoe size 42 (yes for real) and no matter what angle I’m trying from I just can’t get my foot in them because they are so narrow by the foot.
Don’t looking forward going through the blazers, a lot of them comes from my grandmother who was a true fashionista. Got her entire closet when she passed away last summer, because I was the only one with a fashion interest. But I live in a small house, build 1948 storage space is limited and I have to sort things out. Already purged a lot of it, my sister is going to pick up and go through a few items. But the blazers are special, never saw grandma without one no matter if she was going out dancing, coming for dinner or just got out for a fika. It’s like a memory collection, and I added some of my own to. My absolute favorite purchase of all times is a pure hot pink 80s style blazer.
Hope your day is going to be awesome.
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pure hot pink 80s style blazer…!!! 
awesome! 
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