40 days. Had a stressful day yesterday at work, but I’ve got a 4 day weekend so that will be fun. Planning a day trip down to San Diego with my wife and kids. Gonna check out the nature side of SD since humans are still dangerous at the moment with COVID and all. It’s supposed to reach 111°F/44°C here tomorrow.
Have a great day all.
Day 282. I’ve been on here less but still working on the journey, glad to be a non drinker. It feels like a long time ago that I used to drink. But still vigilant.
In 2 hours I will finish my first 7 days!! Very proud of myself. Today is hard because we always grill out and drink. I told my husband to get beer for himself but seeing it in the fridge made me realize it wasn’t going to be that simple. Fortunately I have my cans of soda water and I’m feeling ok right now.
I might start sitting there for zoom but I have been sitting at my desk in my living room. @C_8 and @crystalclear thanks Cate and Cristel! @CapriciousCapricorn The Dutch aren’t called cheeseheads for nothing Stella. it’s become a Friday tradition for me to bike to an organic farm close to Amsterdam who make and sell there own cheese. it’s a Gouda type (which is a staple of Dutch diet, a slice of bread with cheese is as Dutch as it gets), but has way more taste than the Gouda you can buy at the grocery. This is a rather old one, it almost tastes like Parmesan but it’s richer and softer in texture. I always ask for the one with the most taste and this one is very strong. Love it!
It’s defective. It’s got holes in it. Take it back. Get a refund.
I appreciate the tidbits on Dutch culture you share with us. I’ve been trying to head to Amsterdam for years. I even went to a King’s Day festival here in Los Angeles last year to try some Dutch food. Quite interesting, but good. Tried bitterballen, herring, and tons of cookies.
Maybe it does taste more like Emmental than Parmesan indeed Cate 
You’re welcome John. TBH, we’re not really renowned for our kitchen. Lots of potatoes. Anyway, if you ever make it here, let me know. Would be nice to meet and I can show you around a bit
Feeling the pressure today after a nightmare of a morning and genuinely wanted to just take anything so I don’t have to feel the anger and hurt right now…
I felt to sure of myself with the out of sight out of mind…
I just want the day to finish… Trying not to rely on my old coping ways and just dealing with the shit when I’m mentally not strong enough is too much!
Hang in there, your strong enough, your here and your sober 
The daily pressures can sometimes make us forget to just Breathe.
“Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting.”
Jack Kornfield.
Whoever the hell that is 
Great to hear from you 
With those numbers it sounds like your journey is coming along fine. Good job.
Have a fantastic sober weekend.
I know I will.
You will do it and you’ll feel soooo good for it too; stronger than the urge… 
@Dazercat… I will take a long big walk and breath…
@anon79808082 I will do it, TS is one of the only outlets I have so I’m using this space to get through and you all push me to better myself, I’ve learnt things I would never of even tried before!
Atta girl 
It’s taken me 60 years to learn to BREATHE.
It really does work. And there’s time for it.
Caught one for @C_8
Working today and I’ve got my first therapy appointment in about an hour. I started my mood stabilizer yesterday. I’m not tempted to drink at all. I don’t even think about it. I know moments will probably come in the future, though. That’s been my past experience. I’ll have months of no cravings, only to be blindsided by urges and depression. I’m trying to lay the ground work now. I’m hoping between therapy, meetings, and medication I’ll have a strong enough foundation of recovery for when the inevitable curveballs of life, or urges to drink come. 
Thanks! We’re really excited. Hopefully, we can get back to playing shows soon!
Checkin in at 45 days today! Y’all be good and stay safe!
