@TeejLazer great photo! Love the leaf in the foreground.
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Back to day 1 again for me 
I made it through the first 8 hours, I was sleeping. Feeling groggy this morning but I know it will get worse before it gets better. I’m going to stay positive and take it easy so I don’t get overwhelmed and my addict brain tells me I need a pill. Have a wonderful sober day everyone.
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Amsterdam looks so civilized and beautiful
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Amsterdam is beautiful and civilized but as always there are two sides to the story. It’s a bit like the Bay Area in that it’s becoming more and more gentrified. For normal people it is becoming increasingly difficult if not impossible to live here. i’m lucky to live in an affordable apartment that has some protection from drastic raises in the rent I pay. But I am stuck here (which is fine for the foreseeable future), I could never afford another place in the city with the money I make as a nurse.
I grew up in a different city. Much grittier. With lots of heroin and junkies and whores and squatters and riots and ruins and no go areas. And affordable housing. It’s much neater now and I don’t long for those times to come back but both have good and bad.
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There are way more shootings lately right? Or have I only noticed just now?
94 days and sober. Rough weekend. Today is another day.
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@anon79808082 @Jennajen @Mno @Joy @M-be-free49 thank you 
all so much!! You are all an important part of my journey. I appreciate you all. 
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That’s mainly on the fringes of town with kids imitating gang culture from the UK and the USA. And in the whole of the Netherlands drugs production and trade is thriving. Production happening in rural areas. Drug related crime rising nationwide too.
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Thanks for that. It is difficult but seeing him be hungover and feeling awful made me even more certain that I’m making the right decision to quit drinking.
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Day 224. Nothing much to report, it was a good weekend. Heading over to take a piss test for my outpatient rehab therapist today so I can hopefully get my license back…have a good day
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That happens in every town in every country my friend. Ever been to the old mining zone in Southern Limburg? Snuff movies part of Amsterdam culture? Come on. Where’s your hate for this town coming from?
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On day 3 of vacation with just my wife and I.
I will admit this is the most I’ve missed drinking since I started my sobriety, because we have rented a cabin and there has been a lot of down time with bad weather the last few days. Although I’m proud that I haven’t been tempted to pick up at all. The rewards of sobriety for me are not worth losing to go back to drinking.
Fortunately the weather is supposed to be beautiful the rest of the week so we have a lot of outdoor activities planned.
We have been able to go out to a very nice dinner we couldn’t have afforded had we been drinking. Honestly we probably couldn’t have even afforded this trip at all before sobriety. It has been incredible to not have to worry about money on a vacation or wake up looking at massive credit card charges from a bar or restaurant. I would say that I can’t explain how much of a relief that is but I’m sure a lot of you guys know the feeling.
Shout out to @Dragonflygirl82 for that very inspiring post earlier as well! That was such a motivational one to read first thing in the morning (I think I read it quite a while after it was posted).
Have a great day guys 
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Wow @Brookiemonster618 you are such an inspiration!!! So proud of you for not drinking you’re amazing!!! Have a great day today! 
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Good luck, you have put in the hard work, hopefully you will get your license back 
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Day 94 clean and sober today. Hoping today I can stay out of my head and focus on the tasks at hand. I’m set to discharge next week and I need to get my future solid. Have a great day everyone, love you guys!
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Yes! I have similar out of proportion emotions and it almost startles me. It’s good that you’re self-aware and can take some steps to address it if it concerns you.
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Woke up today feeling I’ve regressed a bit. I knew that not all days would be great like they have been recently, but this morning things are feeling particularly difficult. I thought I was over this. Ugh.
I chalk it up to yesterday being the start of football season. I didn’t anticipate the impact it has had on me. She loved football just as much as I do, and the first day of the season was always a special day for us. Additionally, our teams only play each other once every 3 yrs, with this year being one of them – Raiders vs Patriots in 2 weeks. It’ll be hard to not be watching it together. That’s going to be a tough day, I think. I often question if she even thinks about me at all anymore, but on that day, I know she will be…and I, her.
This time of year would also be close to kick off a wonderful 3-month time in our house, where everything is all decorated and festive. We used to love decorating, and we’d be getting ready for it now. Halloween first, which was our favorite, then “harvest” decorations for November, then Christmas. I’m really going to miss it this year. Hurts a lot to think about. Last night I thought about doing it on my own here in my apartment, but it just wouldn’t feel right. Not the same.
I’m going to pray in a bit because as I’ve said, it helps. But today is probably the worst I’ve felt since things started to turn around a few weeks ago. I just have to have hope that it gets better, that today is just a blip.
I also wanted to thank anyone and everyone here who supported me as I’ve been through all this shit this year. It has been the darkest and most difficult time of my life. Darker than the worst of my drinking years, and I don’t say that lightly. There are too many people, too many friends here, that have been there for me so I won’t list anyone specifically lest I mistakenly omit someone. But thank you, truly.
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Day 7: I am feeling really peaceful this Monday morning. Things feel like they’re heading in a good direction and I’m proud of this first week. I feel like this time, compared to other “first weeks” I have a different perspective, I’ve learned from past attempts, and most importantly I’m reaching out and talking more openly about things during the process. I am really proud of myself especially for facing cravings head on instead of trying to avoid thinking about them. I’ve talked myself through them, thought about where they come from and how I’m feeling. For example, yesterday I spent most of the day cooking, and like a lot of others have mentioned before, I used to always be “sipping” wine (who am I kidding, guzzling most of the time) and would often fuck up what I was doing because I got too drunk. There were times when I would pass out before what I was cooking was finished and I’d wake up after a few hours trying to figure out what I was doing. Ugh. I am happy that I can enjoy my passion and do it even better being sober. I did have some cravings but mostly just an awareness like “wow, normally I’d be finishing that bottle of wine on to the second right now,” and I didn’t miss it. Have a good week everyone.
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Thank you. Your post is so inspiring, as always.
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