I totally understand the thought process, the first time I had the house to myself for a few days it dropped into my mind. Make a plan for the time, get on here, pop on the zoom meeting if you have time. Read your old posts etc, you can get through this 
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Made trough 15 days. Feeling good!
Yesterday was a strange day, gave a class, played some games but mostly an idle day that passed too quickly.
Caught myself looking at some girls Pictures on pinterest (not porn) but noped the f out. Saw some interviews and read book instead.
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Day 19. I’m feeling good this morning. The Lord woke me up today and that’s my first blessing. I am going to take this day as it comes. And conquer it! Meeting #2 at noon! Let’s smash this sober Wednesday!!! I hope you all have a great day!
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Day 1 sober @CapriciousCapricorn you are completely right; I must do a choice. I am killing myself
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Thanks for the comment, you are so on point. Looking back, I also know that while the original intent has always been to numb, things frequently shifted to drinking just to drink for no real reason, or for any reason, rather. And that is no way to live, much less thrive, which is what I want to do. Also: “I think it would be helpful to have “trigger binoculars” - heck yeah! Me too!!! 
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Missed seeing you around, glad you’re back. You have it in you!!
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You can do anything you put your mind to now that you’re sober. You’re so close to the big milestone and those milestones mess with us. I know that you have a lot going on but you are strong and smart so don’t forget that. One thing at a time, back to basics for a few more days. Stay strong 
.
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i had those feelings the first few times i was away from my wife over night on camping trips too. Don’t worry about that day until it’s here, no future tripping. Get back to the basics, hit meetings, hit your buddies gym, this site, reach out to me if you want. Stay strong
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You’re right @Petes40, my boss doesn’t hold back so she would have said something earlier. She actually sent me a text last night to check on me. She was worried that I was upset and thanked me for all I do.
Lately, when I see her door close for meetings, my brain goes right to thinking it must be about me, when I know for a fact there’s a few others that are walking on thin ice.
My anxiety about work has been creeping in over the past week. I think @Dan531 hit the nail on the head with my 1 year milestone coming up. That never even crossed my mind.
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Day 96 clean and sober today. I didn’t get some writing done for my sponsor yesterday and he commented “where’s the writing Rob” on one of my FB posts. That seems weird to me when he has my phone number to say the same thing and not in a public post. What do you all think??? Have a GREAT DAY!
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Awesome work on day 96
I’ve never done the AA thing or had a sponsor so I may not know what I’m talking about but that does seem like your sponsor may have overstepped some boundaries by posting that in a public forum. Unless of course you’re very public already on facebook about sobriety, but I get the impression from your question that you’re not (same with me).
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Day 9: I’ve started going back to review my posts here from the beginning as well as reading through old journal entries. I think this is going to be helpful in identifying triggers and patterns of thought and behavior as I learn more about myself and my self-destructive/sabotaging tendencies. I think it will also help me direct my online therapy, as the therapist isn’t, or seems to be waiting for me to ask for specific help. I don’t know what to ask for help with! But I do still think it could be valuable. I also know that if this therapist doesn’t seem to be meshing I can request a change.
I am really excited to be working out again! It feels so good to sweat and disconnect from my overthinking brain. I can already tell this is going to be crucial to my well being forever.
Happy to be sober and continuing to have ah ha moments this time around.
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Thank you for the clarification, you’re right the memories do fade. I will be sure to check in alot. Hope you have a good day
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I’m sure I’ll be texting lol. I won’t be able to hit meetings for the rest of the week because I have my girls. But they are gone the weekend, and no meetings then. Mostly the weekend is what I’m worried about. I’m sure I’ll do fine, thanks for the advice man. Worry about it when it comes
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I have not done a 30 mile bike ride in like 4 months, may throw that in.
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Today is day 94. I’m going to try to focus more on living in the moment instead of always looking ahead or waiting for the next exciting thing that I have planned.
As I’ve been reflecting and learning more about myself in my sobriety, it seems like that is one of the issues my anxiety has caused. Not being able to just live in the moment and always looking ahead and being restless. I feel like the inability to enjoy the “now” has really taken away the fun from a lot of things and I need to work to get that back.
I used to always be looking forward to, or waiting for, the next opportunity to drink. Now I have to rewire my brain to just enjoy the present.
Have a great day everyone 
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Right there with you. Well said, and thanks for sharing.
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Hey Mike, hope you’re doing fine.
I wrote this in a post while ago when I was around 6 months sober. That’s the reflection i had post resisting urge of a night.
We all have many reasons why we should not drink, and yesterday (I already felt that when I first stopped drinking) there was one big reason for me why I knew I could not drink, is that when I want to drink I WANT to drink a lot. This is what I like in drinking: having a lot of beers, couples drinks and finishing with some harder stuff. Even if this could be ok for some people, well for me this ends in a black picture and a lot of problems in my head for days.
I can’t have one drink because I don’t want one drink, I always want more; so one drink is too much for me because more is too much for me.
Hope you be well ,
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That’s not even an option, Mike. You’re a non drinker, you’ll find better things to do with your time.
Stay here.
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I don’t know what I think about the public post really (but it doesn’t seem to me it was too disclosed, but that’s just me)
What I do felt while reading this though was : wow man, that’s incredible to have someone checking up on you like this! Made me think of how I could need to get accountable to someone , as I keep cancelling my therapist and my outside patient addictive program. Their to easy to cancel. Even if I pay for it, lol, dumb me.
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