Woops.! Wrong thread,
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Really pleased for you over here. Well done on 30 
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Iāve not seen you about for a while and I can see why now, whatās been happening? Glad to see your still going for it and back in the only place that matters. Take time and take care 
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I wouldnāt go back as far as I can tell the damage is done.
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if I shake my phone it will call the emergency services, check sheās not sitting there shaking it for no reason, either that or she just likes men in uniforms 
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- Weekend! Iāll move my ass over to the gym in a bit as itās another typical autumn day here, way to wet to do stuff outside for my liking. Otherwise not too much to say. Thereās a danger of me falling back into procrastinating with everything except physical exercise. Need to address this. But not right nowā¦ Yes I know. But gym first. That is of paramount importance to my well-being too. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam where there was a little bit of blue sky yesterday afternoon. Glad I caught it.
Some great numbers here today! Happy for you all!
@IcanIwill Congrats on a month Kayla!
@M-be-free49 Triple digits is huge M. Youāre doing so well. Big congrats & thanks so much for being here and being part of my journey too.
@Nvbookthief Happy to see you and big congrats on 300!
@Deadman Thatās a nice understated way of announcing your 2 years anni friend. Huge congrats. Thanks for sharing your success.
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 39,another day on zoom with meetings and seminars. I think Iām starting to like it. It feels good doing something important. However I really need to remember using the glasses. My head was hurting really bad yesterday from a full day behind the screen.
Now time for lunch before todayās last seminar. 
Happy Thursday Everyone.
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Yes. She is starting to cough and she says that sheās facing problems breathing. Like there isnāt enough oxygen. I am panicking. Shit shit shit. What do I do? Sheās the sane person. O fuck. I donāt know what to do.
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Try going online to find Covid-19 tests for your area and follow the directions. I know where I live we have to do a prescreen in order to register for a test, but it may be different where you are. Know that you can always go to the emergency department as a last resort/worst case. Let her make that determination. If she is truly having difficulty breathing, thatās your best bet. Is there a 24/7 nurse line you can call for advice? Above all try to remain calm, take deep breaths. It is going to be okay.
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Day 11. Having bad cravings since yesterday afternoon. Iām not feeling so confident today. Iām feeling a relapse on the horizon. Iām going to try to stay busy and not think about but itās bad. I want to take something but I know thatās not the answer. Have a great sober day everyone! 
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Iāll be honest with you man. I havenāt been with my daughters mother, in maybe 5 years. Part of me still loves, her. She is a which, she will not help me out in any matter so that I can survive and take care of the girls. She cheated on me like over 20 times, if fucking ruined my mind. Yet I still think about her, she cheats on her bf now alot and I canāt believe he doesnāt see it. For some reason it bothers me, this girl isnāt even my problem anymore and yet I still get bothered by shit like that. I play silly and stupid scenarios of her cheating on him and me getting jelous of it. Iām working every day to get over it, itās obvious I hold some resentmant towards her. Just keep pushing man, things are a mess for me too. We both know drinking definitely wonāt take care of any of it, sobriety at least gives us a chance at getting better. Drinking, would put us in a even darker place no doubt, these feelings sober would only get worse drunk
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Hospital gave me an appointment at 10 am tomorrow! I am having a panic attack here. Why this? Why now? I canāt take this shit.
Thatās tough. Thatās around the time, just before two weeks, when I would start having cravings also. I was a serial relapser and couldnāt get to two weeks for the longest time. Have you identified what some of your triggers are and worked to deal with them? Mine included boredom, certain activities that I associated with drinking wine (like cooking or eating dinner) and things that made me anxious. I had to do all of those things sober and deal with some of the emotional stuff by journaling and talking about it to maintain my sobriety. Hang in there. I know you can pull through these cravings and make it out the other side. Keep coming on here if you are continuing to struggle. Iām rooting for you!
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You can do it, just donāt think about relapsing as an external thing, which just appears by itself. You are the boss in your life, you are in control, itās your decision to relapse or not, you can say no to it, you can do it! There are ups and downs on the road, but soon it will be better. Hang tight and donāt give up!
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Day 248. Feeling good one day, and out of it the next seems to be pretty routine lately. Preach all this shit to everyone and then canāt even work it on the bad days myself. I can see Iām holding resentmans still even tho I work on them, they still keep popping back up. I got asked by a guy why I am not working my steps, and I told him bc I see all you guys working the steps having the same damn problems as me still and you all have 20 years sobriety. I said Iām doing fine and work sobriety in my own way, things for the most part go good. I donāt think he liked my response, but oh well.
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Thatās great news! See? You managed it and did something to help even through the anxiety and stress. That shows you can do this. Itās life. Hard things happen and you are working hard to be in a position to deal with the tough stuff as it comes. Now do what you need to ride out the panic attack (I know them well) whatever works for you, hot shower, cold compress, feet in cold water, scream in a pillow, meditative music, etc. Youāve got this. It will pass.
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so what are you doing now, donāt come on here with a 10 second post and then disappear into your own mind, stay with us and talk, either keep your self busy where you are or keep your mind busy with us. Itās safe here, no one is going to lead you to your drug of choice.
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Thanks for being there, internet stranger. I am trying to breathe. Trying to keep sane. My wife is the sane person around. I am just the nerdy pothead fuckup whoās somehow managed to hold onto things. Just the thought of losing her, itās crazy. I xant even begin to imagine what life would be like.
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