I think this is what @RosaCanDo was trying to post. Breath friend.
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I canāt even tell you how many relapses I feel coming all the time. Acting on them Is just a exuse, if you want sobriety bad enough youāll figure it out and do anything and everything in your power to not use. Go for a jog, take a bath, eat a shit ton of food, take a nap, figure it out. But quit putting yourself through those shitty ass early sobriety feelings and starting over every time.
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Youāve got it! I am also the panicky one in the marriage, my husband is the emotionally stable one, lol. And I know sometimes we just need someone to walk us through the thought process and keep a cool head. Find a breathing meditation to listen to, stat! They save my life. Hang in there. The good news is the more you deal with these tough situations and your emotions and brain manage it, the easier it gets.
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Yes! thanks, Menno! I still havenāt figured that out, ugh!
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Welkome to TS
,
Quick check in for me. Was phoneless 4 2 days,
All is good and well here.
Bless
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Thanks for the welcome. Bad news on my end. I relapsed. Smoked a joint. Looking for the relapse thread now. I hate this life.
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Checking in sober, Day 275. Today makes 
months!!! 
Jan 8 - Oct 8. It struck me this morning the symbolism of it taking 9 months to bring a new life into this world and how today I have such a new life compared with what I was living before! Like having a new baby, I find that each day I am learning something new about life. And like being a new baby, I find there are times where I donāt know what to do so rage and cryā¦ but Iām learning! Iām so glad that Iāve been given this chance to end my arrested development and work to become the adult I was meant to be!
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Congratulations on 9 months that is amazing!!
I really like that baby analogy, itās so true that we really are discovering and navigating a whole new life now that weāre sober. Glad we all have each other for support during the ride!
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Congrats on 9 months good job
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Thatās rough man! I admire you for making things work with your daughter and the situation with your ex. I canāt imagine what all thatās really like.
Love is a hard thing get over.
My ex is making thing really difficult to sell our house. Very little communication. She doesnāt show up at meetings with real astate agents,ā¦
all that is giving me so much anxyiety. So many feelings I donāt want te feel.
The classic voice in my head is allready drinkning those feelings away.
I know it wonāt help. But damn.
@marcusmaximus2000 Wow! Well done! I really like this comparison, also. It fits. I also strive to be the confident and independent person I know I can be.
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Today is day 41. My first 2 blessings this morning were my eyes opening. Being grateful is one sure way to live a joyous life. Joy is not something you find, it is already inside of you. Iām going to my noon meeting and going to do some more stepwork today. I hope you all enjoy this Thursday clean and never forget that you are WORTHY. If you have a pulse you have a purpose. 
Love you ALL!!!
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I felt a bit down the last 2 week or so, I lost my drive and focus. The event of being sober kinda fadeaway, and wasnāt as uplifting as it was at the beginning.
So I started to shift my mood toward activities, biking mainly. Today I went for a 70 km ride between Berlin and Postdam. It was quite an undertaking because I have an average fitness level, and despite regular biking the number seemed insane to me. Anyway I did it, I went farther than I was use to do, I put myself in an incomfortable situation with my butt cheek squeezed on my saddle and my teeth gritted - I wanted it, really.
Now I realize that soberness can be a catalyst to me, and create space for purpose and meaning. I feel that Soberness itself is great, but it is only the preamble of a whole - that need to be put together by nobody else than yourself.
Donāt give up people
Peace
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Happy Thursday! I woke up to a bunch of birds singing outside my window. That is awesome. I know there will be challenges and possibly struggles today but Iām ready to face them sober and with Godās help.
Have a great day my friends.
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I had to get my girls ready for the day and the oldest is on the computer doing school so now Iām just watching Desperate Housewives and snuggling with my toddler 
Iām going to take a break from working out and trying to watch what I eat and allow myself to be lazy today. No appointments or calls to make. Other than my super smart and independent 3rd grader being in online school, I can literally just do nothing but the basics today. Thanks for the response it was super helpful.
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Thank you for your words of encouragement. Youāre 100% right. Iāve never thought about it like that. I think of relapsing as this monster hiding around the next corner when Iām creating that monster in my own mind. š¤¦š¤·
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Thanks for reaching out. 
I stayed busy momming after I posted and I jumped right back on here and seeing some of the replies to my post really helped. Itās a wonderful distraction and I appreciate all the great tips. I am going to be lazy and keep reading on here throughout the day.
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That sounds like a great plan! I also have been on a break from working out while I wait for my new walking shoes to arrive. Thatās my reason (excuse) and Iām sticking to it! Enjoy your day!
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Day 31: I slept so well last night and woke up at 5 am an hour before the alarm from a bizarre dream involving James Caan being a dick to me in a Holidome while eyeing my underage friend in a bathing suit. (Edit: this sentence structure is just awful. In my defense it was early in the morning 
) Weird. But I was wide awake and came on here and did some commenting, which I was glad to be present for. I am feeling good today so far! Getting my plan of the day in order - I intend to complete a postcard writing project today (80 out of 250 left to go!), which consists of notes to voters in swing states gently pressuring them to vote by telling them that while who they vote for is secret, whether they vote is public record. A lot of people donāt realize that it is, and it takes some of the anonymity out of it, hopefully making people feel more responsible to do their civic duty. I care less about who people vote for and more about getting more people engaged in the process (that doesnāt mean I donāt care who they vote for at all, though, duh, but this is a non-partisan outreach effort). People talk a lot about their rights in America, and not as much about their responsibilities. Whoops, I got on my high horse for a minute. Let me take a step down and say that I am grateful that I am sober today and that I have the energy to be passionate and rekindle the values that were once so important to me. These little projects Iāve picked up are helping me to feel like I am making a difference, however small, and that is one of my core values. Next on the list is connecting to a local organization that coordinates community resources and connects people and efforts to those who need them. I already reached out and will prepare a home cooked meal to deliver to a family of 6 once a month. They will identify the family and deliver it for me. One small step at a time to get engaged in service to others again and hopefully make connections in the community to stay involved going forward.
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Day 4 checking in! Slept like crap. Lots of tossing and turning. Long work day ahead and some weekend road trip prep when I get home. Might make me a bit anxious today. 
Iām hoping thatās not going to be the case.
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