I read it as a good omen. Because anything else depresses me too much!
Iāve started doing this every morning first thing when I wake up and make my coffee I sit down with my journal and brain dump all that you just mentioned. Every morning. So I donāt loose focus and remember to remember lol. And to keep momentumā¦ Other wise my monkey mind gets easily distracted and forgets goals etcā¦ It makes me feel productive first thing In the morning 
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Day 40: Welp. No more loaded cheeseburger tater tots for me. Evah! After waking up at 3 am with roaring heartburn, I think Iām good on that. Otherwise, feeling alright on this grey, spitting Saturday morning. Might go for a drive today to catch the last of the gorgeous fall colors. Feeling that olā feeling today, calm and peaceful on the surface with a dash of angst down deep. Seems to be my new normal, and much preferred to the full blown anxiety that I had become accustomed to before starting to get sober.
Edit: The sun came out!!! Iām off to work outside. Hooray!
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Congrats on your 40 days! Itās awesome!
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Might give it a shot tooā¦ It is actually hard to go deep inside those principles now and putting them down on paper. Iām confronted to myself on a deep level!
Welcome back 
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Day #50 here. Almost was Day #0. (Though zeroās not a number, right?) Yesterday, to quote Tom Sawyer, I had it āpowerful bad.ā My two triggers collided - a day of writing and Friday night - and by 6 PM I was feeling pretty dang sorry for myself and resenting my son. He was the reason I gave up wine, when, at age 24, he admitted a problem. The kid is very self disciplined which is why he won all sorts of national XC awards and graduated at the top of his class in college with 2 engineering degrees. He justā¦stopped. Though he lives 3,000 miles away, I told him Iād join him. In part, I wanted to make up for what my parents didnāt do when my oldest brother admitted his problem with vodka. They just kept drinking vodka while he battled and lost the biggest fight of his life, dying in an ICU at age 45.
But throughout this, in the back of my mind, the addict brain was whispering, āYou donāt really have a problem. Youāre just being supportive.ā Except, wait, I was gritting my teeth and wavering about running to get a bottle last night soā¦isnāt that a problem?
I decided I needed to get out of the house. Luckily, it was time to collect all absentee ballots thatād been slipped through the office of Town Hall, record them as received and put the list online. I started feeling better after a) expressing my desires out loud, b) getting outside and in the car where I played the next episode of Spooked c) getting to Town Hall and taking my mind off my cravings and d)drinking my magic elixir of ice water with 2 tablespoons of vinegar. I donāt know why that works, but it does. When I was done with the ballots an hour later, the cravings had ceased. I went home and made myself a large, diet Shirley Temple, put together a pizza, watched Chris Hayes and felt a whole hella lot better.
Then I texted my son. Iāve vowed that even though weāre so far apart, I will be completely honest with him, even if I slip. I admitted my temptations and said the reason I didnāt give in was because I wouldnāt have been able to face him. He wrote back that heād been feeling the same on Thursday night. He just wanted to āblow off some steam, let loose.ā (Man, do I get that.) But he didnāt becauseā¦ samesies. He couldnāt face me. BTW, at that moment he was at a friendās house. Theyād offered him a beer and he turned it down and felt good. Then he sent me a picture of a pumpkin theyād carved.
By 9 PM, I was feeling almost high. It was weird. I canāt explain it, though I bet the longtimers here can. If Iād given in, at 9 PM I would have felt like crap for not only letting my brain receptors call the shots, but by not being there for my son.
Sorry this is so long. It was a great lesson that I need to remember. This, I think, is what they mean by miracles. Thanks for your patience and YOUR support.
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Congrats! So many great numbers here, you all give others hope, that itās doable.
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Youāre doing great!
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Figgie, thank you so much for sharing that story. It really helps to know we arenāt alone in these situations. I havenāt had that feeling again since my last relapse, but I know it will come and Iāll need to come here to read this story and others. It is the down and dirty, not just the āguess what guys, I had an urge and I stayed strong! Letās celebrate!ā posts. Itās important to feel what I feel when I read your post, the real struggle and the steps you took to get through it. I hope youāre proud! Well done. Thanks again.
Edit: no shaming implied on the posts where people report getting through a craving successfully. We ALL deserve the validation.
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They did. Not the end of the world as in an apocalypse. But it did say the end of the world as we knew it, meaning that we where in for some kind of big change. I thought something about politics or the climate or something positive like that, like a big technology revolution for making transportation easier on the nature or something. Not a worldwide pandemic. But they where right though, I think all of us has a slightly different view of the world nowadays.
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Thanks, Rosa. Those posts where people get through cravings are helpful, too. And I love that you havenāt had this feeling since your last relapse. Gives me hope. I really want to not want alcohol and just when I think I have it conquered, it sneaks up and gives me a bite.
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This is really interesting. Here in the US, I feel thereās a surge of youthful power and a correction of inequities that the old, white guys are desperately trying to stop. It reminds me of labor pangs.
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Ugh I know what you mean about eating for gut health. I think I finally need to accept I canāt have a ānormalā diet and eat whatever TF I want anymore. It makes me sad but if I feel better itāll be worth it. Loaded tater tots sounds AWESOME lol. I hope you feel better today! The cleanse I did was a 3 day reset by renew health. It had a sun on the box. I got it at target! Give it a shot! It wasnāt expensive.
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thatās the attitude, we all feel something but we just gotta get on with it. Congrats on 50 days & well done 
Congrats on 50 days for you as well, OMG people are smashing it on here recently. You posts always make me smile, donāt ever change 
. Well done You!!
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Well this is just getting ridiculous, another huge milestone rocks up. You guys are just too much, well done on your 40 days sober. These are the people I want on my team. 
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another 40 dayer, I canāt cope with all this. Brilliant just absolutely brilliant. 
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Wooohooo! 
congratulations, great job!