- It’s a nice number. Otherwise it’s business as usual. Or is it? No it’s not actually. I’ve come quite a long way now I think about it for a little bit. I don’t have time for musings as I have to go to work. But I know I’m damned proud of coming this far and I realize how much has changed in my life since I sobered up. It’s very much a one day at a time thing so the changes are hard to notice. Maybe that’s a good thing about milestones, they make you look back and reflect.
Becoming sober and clean has been my life saver and life changer. I owe a lot of it to you all here. Forever grateful. Lot’s of love from Amsterdam where the monks hoods are about the last things blooming in the community garden. @Jennajen Very happy to see you here Jenna. You’re special. You’re beautiful. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise, yourself in the first place. Love.
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Good for you! Even if you’re turning into a monk. 
Did you live in New York City or somewhere else in the state?
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So something happened today that has completely surprised me… I’ve been in a bit of a fog for the past week. Nothing got done. I hardly left the couch. I was just blah. I felt flat and drained and had no motivation. It was a very uncomfortable feeling and it made me very frustrated and almost angry…which is very out of character for me… Always happy and have a spring in my step you could say. Not much gets me down…but this week of fog knocked me for six… So this morning, on my 6th month mark I decided enough is enough… I decide I would change the way I was feeling. I would do the things, well force my self to do the things I knew would make me feel better. Even though the fog was not completely gone, I could have easily gone straight back to bed at 8am… But I didn’t, I had to make a decision to make actionable moves today to change my feelings and emotions and thoughts. Thoughts create emotions and actions lead to change. And something had to change… So I did what I Know works best… I went for a walk to get my morning coffee, I came home and jumped in the shower, I put on nice normal clothes instead of just active /gym clothes, I blow dried my hair , I did my make and put self tan on, I put my music on super loud while I was getting ready… Then I did the things I have been putting off like my laundry, I did two loads, I finished a bunch of paper work that I’ve been avoiding that needed to be done, I did a bunch of important scanning and emailing I’d been putting off, I went to the post office… In a nut shell, by doing all the things I’d been avoiding one by one slowly and focusing on one task at a time, I got so much done today and it’s not even 4pm… I have so much energy and feel so happy and accomplished that I’m blown away at how my fog has completely gone and it’s been replaced with this feeling of complete satisfaction… Just because I made the decision to do the things I knew that would make me feel better… I wish every day was this easy… That every day I could be the organised structured human that I admire… But that’s not reality. I’ve excepted that we all have our bad days, bad weeks, even bad months… But when it’s good, you really know it’s goods because of that contrast. And today was good 
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 51
Got a part of the socal service investigation about that teen yesterday. And I’m really upset in how bad everything has been handled from their side. As a former social worker it’s a freaking wonder how many laws this social service office have been breaking or just haven’t given a darn about. And there’s absolutely no consideration whatsoever about the child l, and even worse about the fact that it’s a special need child.
When all this is done and their investigation ia closed, I’m instantly ia going to report them to the higher authorities for intern investigation. I really really want to make a fuzz about it already and asking the social service ladies what the heck they are doing, and if they even have a clue about what they are, and how much harm they’re creating to this teen. But I won’t, not until I know she’s safe here and they can’t do anything more to make a mess.
Yes I’m greatful that they do exist, and I know that the teens good we can’t just go get here because she’ll need some kind of introduction. And that’s also beyond my understanding, she’s been here in the past on and off (because of the mother) since she’s been three years old. She lived here for months, everything was prepared for her to move to us, but because of the custody issue the mother changed her mind, took her back and a few months later she was placed in foster care. No one asked us, no one checked if there was another parent or someone close to the family that could care for here. Which they are required to do. No one wrote about us in any papers and now the social service claims that she doesn’t know us and need to be introduced. It’s insane,but for now they are still in charge so I guess we have to play along. The placement at the teen care facility is said to be volunteerly but the social service threatened the mother yesterday, that if she took her out of their, they will do a “forced” placement by another law. Which will mean that she won’t get home for at least a year.
Another really strange thing is that the mother has been taking this kid/teen to a private center for special need kids and have paper on diagnosis she’s said to have that doesn’t even exist, doesn’t match her kind of problems or that isn’t even possible to label a child with. No one has done a proper investigation that hasn’t been paid by the mother, the child/teen is given and have been given meds she probably won’t need for years and no one at the social service is even raising a half eyebrow about it.
I’m going to have to bite my tongue more than a hundred times when they are coming here to check if it’s a “proper environment” for this kid.
Usually I defend the social services ways to work, I’ve been on the other side, doing investigations, taking decisions about having kids place in foster care, or at youth facilities. I know the all the laws I know the process, and how they work. And usually I understand or tries to explain to upset people. But there’s no reason, logic or aspects of the law in this case. It’s no consideration of handling things smoothly or in the best interest of the child. It’s simply a “who cares” attitude and a power abuse action of those in charge. They even had the courage to tell the mother and my husband yesterday that they can’t do anything about the custody, and that it’s a court issue. Swedish law and the social services law says that if the parents agree about changing custody the social services are required to help write those papers at family council/court. Which is located at the social service office. Even my tiny village have that office. Unfortunately the kid/teen belongs to another social security service. I advised my husband to contact the family council/court first thing today.
And to call the social services and require instant action to take the kid/teen home asap.
I know, I know everyone can’t run the show, an advice I got from here a few days ago. But when the director is an ass, someone reasonable have to take over, right?
Happy Tuesday folks and wish me luck.
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500 days!! It’s an honor to know you and know how much you bring to this community. It’s amazing you have 500 “one little days at a time.” Great message you got there kid. Love it.
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Checking in late.
Had my chiropractor appointment this morning first customer 8:15. Doc and receptionist, his wife, all had masks on and no one was allowed to come in before I left. He will see me again as first customer of the day. Patient I guess. 
I told him I didn’t need any special treatment and he said no worries. L4 pulling to the left and I’ll see him again Thursday. They have a sign on the door that our mayor has put out a mask ordinance but basically they won’t enforce it if you have a medical reason not to wear one and they won’t even ask you about your medical reason for privacy purposes.
It’s nice to be sober and adjust to the new normal.
@apes2020 way to go on getting things done. I know exactly how you feel. Some days I just don’t do a darn thing. Then once and awhile. I just clean this corner here. Get the music going loud. See what happens. The clean this part of the stove. Maybe pass a vacuum. Sometimes I get a bunch done. Sometimes it’s just a little bit. Whatever. Being sober is a full time work sometimes. If I hit the pillow at night sober I figure I worked hard enough today.
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Congratulations 
That’s an amazing achievement, keep up the good work. You are awesome.
You should definitely be proud, not only is it a huge milestone. But you’ve also helped and cheered for a lot of people here along the way.
Wishing you an amazing day, and once again Congratulations.
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Well done Menno! Good numbers
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Whats the chiropractor for? Have you hurt yourself?
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Yes definitely switch it up and see how it goes! I found it very interesting to see how my mind and body reacted.
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congratulations on your month, That’s one proud sober grumpy bitch 
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Day 2 going to try again
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You just made your reality happen, make it happen again. Love Reading your post, now I have to motivate myself to have a positive and productive day. Thank you.
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We do create our own reality in the end don’t we 
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Morning peeps. I feel ok again today. Not quite content but ok. Still a little underlying problem with someone at work but im not letting it stress anywhere near like i used to. Cravings for cigs but its been 18 days and 20 days sober so I’m not stopping now.
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Congratulations on your six month mark! You are so right that we create our own reality and it seems you got right on top of that! I’m sorry youve been feeling blase but I love the energy you put into making the change you want to see. You are such an awesome person! Really great post. I loved reading it.
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It’s always nice to find that our friendship with someone doesn’t have to hinge on our addictions. I’m glad you got to spend time with your buddy and it went well.
Also good luck on the caffeine thing! You’ll have to let us all know how it goes. 
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