@Imcrafty Staying sober thru hard times shows real strength! Well done!
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@RosaCanDo good job you! 
Iām so sorry youāre in so much pain. I really feel for you. I donāt have any advice but I truly hope you feel better soon.
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Thank you. 
Stop it! Your not any of those things! Well 45 maybe lol but I totally agree @Chiron we really can be our own roadblocks. Be open to the possibilitiesā¦ you just never know. 
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Nice one Tyler 
ā¦ Youāve come far in just a few weeks. Itās fantastic.
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Congrats on a WHOLE MONTH!!! Thatās awesome. And way to push through the pain of depression, keep pushingā¦I know the struggle, a whole different kind of pain. Hang in there.
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thank you
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I did an experiment recently where I tapered off to decafā¦instead of 4 normal coffees, I would have my morning coffee with caffeine as normal, then after midday I would have only decafā¦ Then after a week of this I started only decaf for the whole weekā¦ It was fine, I did get a lot of head aches from coming off the caffeine oddlyā¦ Then on the weekends I aloud my self one coffee as normal with caffeine on my morning walk to my local coffee placeā¦ I found that after a few weeks, those two coffees I had on the weekend with caffeine started to effect me with headaches and I was just extra thirstys later onā¦ So now I donāt taste the difference between decaf or regular coffee, if you gave me two unmarked, I could not tell you the differenceā¦ I just love my coffee for the taste now, itās makes me so happy smelling it first thing in the morningā¦ive thought about cutting it out all together, but now Iāve cut back, I enjoy it more and itās not a problem for me. Itās something I really look forward to every morning, where before I just did it out of habit and having it there at my finger tips at home it was just so accessible. Now I only keep decaf in the houseā¦
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None of this matters. None of it! When you begin to love yourself regardless of the aesthetics you happy with, that love inside you will shine and you will attract your vibrational equivalent to you by letting go of all the negative your holding ontoā¦ Begin to be and feel happy, regardless of aesthetics and all material things, and I promise you, you will attract what is your vibrational equivalent. You just have to believe and have faith in the process and be happy as you are. Being happy in your now is a HUGE tool to attracting 
ā¦ Do the things that make you happy, the genuine things that you know authentically make you happy and just be you. The rest will fall Into place
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Checking in day 276.84.
Did my praying and reading. Connected with family. Worried Iām noticing a sleeping issue which made me miss my commitment to make lunch at Wayside today, I didnt even call in to say Iād be late cause i was sleeping untill 11:15a.m. Communicated with them after I had already let them and myself down. I was able to reset my day and not have it ruined. Itās noteworthy to mention in hopes that it will help me not fall into a bad habit of sleeping in and not calling. Went to a new to me AA meeting which I plan to attend again, so that was nice. I made supper for myself at home and a few of my housemates got to try my cooking for the first time. So going to attempt to fall asleep earlier tonight.
&
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Thank you! I am proud. 
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Oh I love that! Good for you! I appreciate you sharing your experience. Iāve heard of people trading decaf for regular, but mostly second hand. There really is something soothing about coffee in the morning, isnāt there? Especially when itās cold and snowy outside (does it snow there?). So are you basically completely caffeine free now?
Sadly, itās the coffee itself that is causing me GI issues and I think Iām going to hand off all my precious beans to someone else, never to be brewed in my house againā¦ 
Can you feel the sad longing in my typed out words?? Anyway, itās probably the acid or some such thatās causing it. Iām supposed to get my insides biopsied, but Iāve put it off 
Thoughā¦ if someone could come up with a caffeine free light roast (light roasts have this beautiful light nutty flavor that gets lost with a longer roasting process) with a blueberry flavored bean, I might just splurge on that 
But I just need to drop caffeine in general too. I do have a caffeine problem. I tend to drink 3-4 times the recommended upper limit for an adult. 
Iāve quit several times, including when I got clean in the early spring, but like a true addict I get to a point where I think that I can handle just having a cup or two of coffee in the morning a dayā¦
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Day 249~ Last night I had a drinking dreamā¦ weird because unlike most I havenāt had many using or drinking dreams since becoming sober. It was strange seeing myself like that. The entire dream I was trying to get homeā¦ and had such anxiety. The thing I remember the most was how shameful and embarrassed I felt. My subconsciousness is reminding me for sure; Reminding me how awful that life was. No matter how much stress I face and how bad I think āthingsāmight be nothing compares to how shitty that lifestyle was. Everyday Iām where I wanted to be yesterdayā¦ it gets better. Life is worth living. Keep trying what else you gonna do?
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Day 4 was a huge success! Had coffee with my best friend, we went and ran errands together. I got my apartment close to be putting back together after moving out of my boyfriends house (thank goodness I kept my apt). I also had my assessment for treatment and will have orientation on Wednesday. I went grocery shopping to refill my apt of food. After the long and exhausting day me and my best friend took our kids out to eat and get ice cream. Definitely time for bed for us!
Congrats to everybody for another day sober!
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Snow is a few hours from my home so I donāt get you see it and have that experience but I know what you mean. I lived in new york for years in my 20s and have fond snow memories of a morning having my coffee ā¦ And yep pretty much caffeine free. Iām running out of vices lol. No drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no caffinee lol. The questionable vices are slim to none existent it seems I have become a monk lol
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Hello Joanne - and welcome! Youāve come to the right place. Stick around and read and ask questions. Coffeeās always on. 
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Day 112.
My favourite part of the day is the hour or so on reading or assignments for the online creative writing program ā that and my walk with the dog girl, of course. And then on Mondays, I race home from a work day (like today) of tiresome zoom meetings to log onto a webinar workshop for writing ā SO MUCH FUN. Way way way better than anything poured into a glass. Walking the dog girl afterwards I decided Iām going to quit my job, sell my stuff, become a penniless writer living (and making a living) out of a food truck: āMās Chili and Poetryā. Whaddya think?
Fear not. No big changes other than sobriety in the works. But hey ā if this is how my sober brain works, now you can imagine what it was like with wineā¦!
Letās all do another day tomorrow. Big love. 
@Nordique ā thank you for putting words to it. It is an amazingly powerful feeling.
@CapriciousCapricorn ā oh yeah, that time with parents when āimpermanenceā seems to enter the scene as a new characterā¦ just drink in all the sweet moments of now.
So good to see you @Jennajen
Happy 6 weeks! @Rosacando and @IcanIwill
@Misokatsu oh I want that outfit too! Happy 70s to you. Super proud over here.
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Thinking about you and sending you strength and peace. Decisions that need to be made - either way - can weigh so heavily on us, but sometimes they just canāt be rushed. Itās tedious and draining. Hugs to you.
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Hey Jenn. Happy to hear about day 115.
Miss you
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Come back to us Jenna. Stay strong and stay connected to this site.
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