Good luck Mark you can do this. Keep believing and you’ll be amazed with what you can achieve 
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Thank you donna! You are too!!
I used to get all dolled up for work only for my guest to tell me they didnt want me for a waitress they wanted someone prettier. Lol I def took some hits to my ego. Ive even had a guy once sit down look at me and say “boy you’re ugly”… people are sometimes assholes and I learned at a young age I am not everyones cup of tea but honestly… fuck um. 
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WHAT?? I would’ve kicked him out of the restaurant, lol. I was that kind of server, 
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The me now would kick him out in a heart beat!!!
The old me politely asked the guy what he wanted to drink… 
When he asked for a beer, I told him we didnt serve beer on Sundays… he said “aint life a bitch and then you die.” And walked out.
LOL jeez what a guy.
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I am speechless. No fucking way anyone should need to hear something like that. Some people have no manners, no consideration, no sympathetic cell in their body.
If they’d taken the effort of getting their head out their ass, they would have seen how GORGEOUS you are!!! 
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Aww thanks Olivia, I wasnt trying to make this about me!!.. lol I was just trying to point out that some people are assholes and we all collectively should not care what other people think!
Easier said than done though, right??
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Goodnight all… another few days, and I’ll be at 75 days.
The 90-day mark is beckoning…
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Social dilemma yes so good 
I will have a look for active measures… Well thats good the chiro is a prevention kinda tool I guess. I’ve never actually been to one, I think i was worried about going to see one because when I was younger some said that one you started seeing one you have to keep going back to them to be refunded aligned? … And yes it’s a beautiful start to spring here. The baby ducks and swans at the lake have been born and have all new all tiny, the trees out my window are so green and full of new leaves. Actually being stuck inside in isolation I’ve had the chance to really notice nature change, in close detail. Something I’ve never really watched before because I’m never inside my house, still, for such a long period of time… I gave the tree out side my window a name lol, Walter… And his leaves went from none to full bloom in a blink of an eye. It was so magical to see this beautiful creature come to life… The beauty and Magic of nature has never been so visible… Walter lol 
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I think most people like autumn colors. I like the life spring brings into the world.
And ya you do kind of have to keep going back to the chiropractor but when I’m good I don’t go so much. It’s better than getting drugs for pain.
Active Measures is on Amazon Prime.
@Chiron I don’t think it’s on Netflix. Might be somewhere else too by now. Scary stuff.
Say hi to Walter for me. Love the name.
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Looks like it’s 2 bucks to rent on Prime. That’s not bad.
Nice! What a great achievement @Mno! Thank you for always having such nice encouraging words. Your check ins with pics always brighten my day.
day 183… It’s Wednesday. I woke up feeling fantastic because I instantly remembered the accomplishments of yesterday so I laid in bed and pondered what the important tasks are for this day and made my daily list to keep good momentum going…i feel good today. The weather is beautiful today… I might take my bike for a ride across to the beach instead of walking to get my coffee this morning. There’s no wind so it’s a beautiful day for a bike ride to the beach
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I absolutely adore this group. Thank you to all those who have taken the time out to reply to my posts. It’s been massively appreciated.
Todays my first day sober and I’m struggling real bad. Yesterday I woke up pissed as a fart Yesterday and excepted I abuse alcohol. I fucked up so badly my partner wants nothing to do with me.
I feel broken. I lost my mum in June and haven’t quite been right since. I’ve drunk soooo much since that happened. I took myself for a 63 mile walk and meet the love of my life. We did a vision quest and for the first 3 months everything was perfect. I was fine. Then a few weeks lead up to my mums death I became suicidal. Felt like a failure and couldn’t cope with the idea of living. It took over. So I tried hanging myself and overdosing. The ambulance and police were called.
After that I was on top form again. Until it came to her birthday. I acted a twat. The cherry on the top though was the other day. I went mental. Got angry and threw a bottle at him. That’s not normally my character. I don’t know where it came from. But it’s enough to scare me and make me sort my shit out.
But my man now wants nothing to do with me. On those 4 occasions I really hurt him. I’m so upset he won’t see that I’m a good person. It’s just the alchol. I’m desperate to pick up a drink now because it’s playing on my mind hard. I just want to shut it out.
I won’t do it. I need to prove to myself that I’m better then that. But right now that urge is on. How do I get through this? I’m buzzing. My head won’t shut off. Any advice welcome please
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Maybe try go do something physical to distract yourself? I don’t know what time it is there but maybe go out for a long walk. Put your head phones on and walk. Go for a run? Put on some stand up comedy on Netflix? Stay on here on keep reading till the feeling passes… It will pass.
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You could start ur alcohol education! Get on youtube and watch some vids about cravings, what alcohol does to the body. I liked Annie Grace. When I was feeling lost and vulnerable she was a mother-like presence.
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192 today. Loving sobriety.
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Day 71, baby!
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Day 7 … heading for double digits. Today is a good day.
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Woo-hoo one week Amazing work!! 
… Look out double digits !
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It’s 1am here and I am in a tiny village. I’m staying at a friends and the urge to go out is huge. But I know I’ll go and do something stupid. I’ve been trying to sleep since 7pm to start tomorrow already. But I just can’t sleep. It’s killing me.
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