@Imcrafty @Tomek @Mno thank you all 
I working thru it but itās so hard. I really appreciate the support 
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Dude itās okay to have a bad day, week, or even monthā¦ it happens, thatās life. You are 100% right about setting boundaries with your friend/employer. Donāt ever feel stupid, man thatās just the addiction trying to seep back into your life. You got 132 days clean, you are a fucking rockstar.
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Congratulations on 4 days! It sounds like you have a fantastic husband.
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I think you need to take a few days for you, Courtney. Maybe a massage or something like that. Is next week going to be relaxing? I hope you can have some quiet āyouā time sweetie. 
I agree with Menno too; your heart is still healing.
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Hang in there Courtney, Iām sorry youāre having a hard time, sorry about your furbaby too. I personally find that i get disappointed less if i have no expectations which btw is way easier said then done. The only person i can reasonably expect anything from is me. Take care of yourself on your special day (thatāll be my 1 year).
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I second thatā¦ Schedule in some uninterrupted you time asap. Alone. Disconnect from everything and everyone for a while
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@anon79808082 @Dan531 @apes2020 you guys are right. Iām gonna just take a little me time. I really do need to stop with the expectations I just get let down. And @Dan531 thatās the best day ever!! 
much love to you all.
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Hi. Iām at 2.5 days. Hang in there.
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Hi there. At 2.5 days sober. Been thinking of you. Hang in there.
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Thank you @anon79808082, @Tomek, @Dazercat and @anon28001181 for the support and advice. I spoke with him today and I was actually surprised by what theyāre wanting to do in 3 months. If they do what they say theyāre going to do itās going to be a huge opportunity for me to improve my quality of life, both work and personal. Iām going to contact the school and drop a few classes. I was only planning on taking one class but with financial aid they registered me for 8 classes and thatās just to much for my brain and spirit right now. Iāll keep you guys updated about the school thing and today was definitely a win for me facing what I needed to by talking to my friend/boss and Iām also sober so yay!!! Thank you all so much have a great night!!! 
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There you go. Getting it sorted out. Thatās awesome, man.
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Thank you bro
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Oh, beautiful trail! Thank you, beautiful Olivia 
Our trails look quite similar. You do have a bit more snow than here though right now.
Mostly, I donāt enjoy crowdsā¦ ā¦unless theyāre trees. 
Seriously! Simply impossible to feel lonesome in a forest, in the company of so many treesā¦ 
Edit: I will bring you along in my 
on my next forest walk (saturday!) and then you can have all their/our love too!
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Hi Olivia. Iām glad I saw Emmās post to you cuz I missed this today. Glad you were able to āadultā today. Sorry your struggling.
I wish I could do more.
I love the pic of your forest. It looks like a winter wonderland. I hope we get some snow this winter. Itās been so dry here Iām worried itās just going to be a cold dark all winter. And besides that I bought my first snow blower this year so we probably wonāt get any snow. I hope you have a better day today.
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Day 115.
Iām tired, but a good tired. When did I find time to drink? To numb the evening away? I am being careful to make sure I donāt numb out on busy-ness (Iāve done that before - society seems to applaud it as āproductiveā instead of āaddictionā - sigh).
I forget who said it on here - about the differences between real sober life vs what i thought itād be. Of course it has its hard moments, cravings, days - but life is so much more vibrant. An adventure still - but not full of risk and sabotage, putting my life on hold while the glass is in my handā¦
The thought now, of coming home from work and predictably numbing out - while my life sits by waiting to be livedā¦ this holds no appeal. My only concern is that I will one day in the future think itās a good idea to pick up a glass. Thatās why I come here daily (even if only to throw a few likes here and there). 115 days seems like a good stretch to me, but itās nothing compared to the time I lived the old way.
Thank you for being here. Together, every day, we take the old way down another notch or twoā¦
@Luckyredz donāt lose hope. thereās plenty to find here in those further along than we areā¦
@LeeHawk always good to see you here!
@Dragonflygirl82 big hugs. i hope for better days ahead. I fully support the āProject Me Timeā others have recommended. 
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Good job on your 115 Emm.
āMy only concern is that I will one day in the future think itās a good idea to pick up a glass.ā
I feel like this all the time. Mine is more Romanticizing that nice bottle of red. But, I donāt want to drink today. I wonder when that feeling leaves? If it leaves? I was thinking of starting a topic about it and see what some of the old timers say about it. Sometimes it drives me nuts thinking that way. But I donāt have the urge because āIām not drinking today!ā
Good night.
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Checking in! Day 7 complete 
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Woo Hoo !! One week 
That is so great to hear. Proud of you and you should be proud of you too.
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Yes! start a topic!
My plan/hope is that every day I choose this, it leaves less and less chance I will ever choose otherwise. Maybe we should carry just a spark of that concern with us, so that we are never caught off guard, feeling ambivalent and invincible one day? Or when some new kind of unmanageable situation presents itself? (like, say, 2020? lol!)
I dunnoā¦ ā¦you go ask the seniors. Theyāre eating lunch at their tables in the cafeteria.
Iām still a junior, and besides Iām too shy. And kind of a nerd.
Grateful for you.
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