Took this earlier but it wouldn’t let me load. Got a busy weekend of playdates for my daughter, day service for my son, band practice for husband and some pd for me. Glad to be sober to do it!
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Thank you, yeah I struggle with getting the motivation at this stage of the recovery. The last thing I want to do is pick up in all fairness, I feel so shitty, can’t wait to feel back to normal.
One thing I was thinking this last day. If I was told I had say a month to live, i’ve always thought i’d say fuck it and just go and get high. I feel that this time the high was so lonely that actually I wouldn’t want to get high and would just want to spend it with loved ones. It may be the comedown speaking but I hope it is a true feeling.
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Hi, guys! Checking in on Day #56. That makes 8 weeks and the beginning of my 9th weekend. Unlike previous approaching weekends, I have zero interest in drinking. Zero. In fact, the other day I took a whiff of my husband’s bourbon and nearly retched. It reminded me of being a kid and wondering why adults drank that crap when they could be drinking root beer!
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Day 91
I am not doing so good.
I found out yesterday that my best friend died from fentanyl overdose. She was seeing this new guy and he gave her meth with fentanyl and now she is gone. Never even thought she was into meth, I know this new guy had everything to do with it. My heart just hurts. Anyone reading this, be careful. I hear about this fentanyl shit killing people all the time and now it took my best friend. She was sunshine on a cloudy day. She would graduate nursing school today.
God, she had reached out to me saying she was depressed and wanted to die. I should have reached out to her more. I should have been texting her everyday.
I woke up this morning and my nightmare continues. I just cant wrap my head around it. Like she is really gone.
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Checking in on this Friday. It’s a warm one; it’s to be in the mid-20’s (Celsius) which is super warm, as it’s been close to freezing lately. Back to single digit temps tomorrow. I decided to take the day off so after I dropped my little guy off, I commuted back home. Thought I’d clean, laundry, meal prep, but really I’m wanting to catch up on here, play my word games, watch some Golden Girls & The Office 
so I shall see what I get up to. I’ll make an intention to hop on my rowing machine at least. Feeling a bit emotional with dad’s 1st anniversary of his death in a week; really wishing the travel restrictions weren’t preventing me from going to NS to his gravesite. I know I can mourn from here, but something about being back home and by the grave where he and mum are resting. Started listening to Recovery Dharma audiobook. Looking forward to listening. Have a great day, all.
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Day 2 sober Tired and upset but I am just reaping what I sown. Patience and endurance are my only exit
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That’s soo sad… I’m sorry to hear that sweetie.
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Thank you @Chiron I’ll definitely ride the ride. Have a great day! 
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Omg @pdebs I’m so sorry for your loss! Your post hit me so hard right in the heart especially the part about her graduating from school. I hate our disease and what happens when we are in it. A million prayers and good vibes to you I’m really sorry you have to go through this. Stay strong… Yes that stuff is so dangerous it’s really very scary. Thank you for sharing.
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This is her on her first day of school! She just wanted to help people. She was so beautiful inside and out.
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I’m so sorry about your friend. Sending you strength and love 
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I made it through my day yesterday
Still moving forward and it was the best birthday ever
Yesterday was a really big thing for me to be sober
But that was yesterday
It matters but it in the past now
Whats important is now
Be gentle with yourself
And stay sober for you and everything that comes with it
Recovery won’t let you down
Today is day 5
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@pdebs That is such a lot to deal with, be kind to yourself, and don’t think “what if”, you can only do what you can.
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I fucking hate drugs @pdebs I’m so sorry… hopefully that guy gets in trouble for what he did!!!
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Having people around with not well behaved dogs is dreadful! Some people are so relaxed with their: ‘Sorry,he/she is usually so chilled…’ And you think: ‘Sure…’ and almost having a hart attack.
Anyway, enough complains 
He is so fantastically curly, and the ears! Totally adorable! Is it a cross between poodle and another breed?
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Day 27. Missed a day checking in yesterday because I ended up in a spot with no internet or cell service while traveling for work. Today I am back at my office in BR, trying to learn the new phone system that was installed while I was gone this week. I’m looking forward to the weekend, a time to catch my breath, do some laundry, and have some quiet down time. I realized the other day how much of an introvert I actually am. I like doing things quietly and alone. Being around large groups of people for any significant period of time drains me mentally and emotionally. It also makes me very anxious. I’m realizing that part of my drinking was a bad way to cope with the anxiety and nervousness I feel when I’m supposed to be “social.” Right now I feel like I’d rather just be at home or interacting with friends and family one on one.
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Max is a mini poodle/terrier mix!
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I am ever sooooo sorry, Pdebs!
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I feel you on this one…
That’s great to hear! Freedom, man. Good for you.