Awesome @Misokatsu and @anon28001181
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woke up to a cold wet rainy dayā¦ Itās Saturday. Itās a long week end where I live for our Grand Final Football dayā¦ Our state loves the game so much we get a public holiday on the Friday of the weekend of the grand final match lol. Not much to do today. I had a cheeky sleep in till 11am. I got up at 6 then went back to bed because of the rain. I will jump in the shower and then head out for my lake walkā¦ I do really enjoy walking In the rain. Definitely a favorite past time lolā¦ Singing in the rain even lolā¦ I think Walter, the tree out my window is pretty stoked that itās raining today, he was probably thirsty so heās loving the rain too lol. 
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Thats an aboriginal elder from home land lol. Koori they are calledā¦
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And also here in Australia, those who use h are dying here in the past few years there has been bad phases where it was all cut with it unknowingly. Lots of people dying. Itās so sad.
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Checking in at 8 days clean! New record!
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Late check in lol day 133 clean and sober today. Work was good today, a little sore but thatās awesome. They were having a company bbq after work today but I passed. I didnāt feel like drinking but I didnāt feel like being around it so I left lol and went grocery shopping. Iām working tomorrow to finish what I didnāt get done today and hopefully it wonāt take all day. Faith and I are hoping to go away for the night tomorrow night and spend some time together. Dang I really love her with all of my heart. Sheās precious to me and I am so grateful for every moment we get to spend together. Anyway, have a great night everyone, I love you guys a lot!!! 
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Iāve gotta get back into the routine of checking in daily because my emotions are going unchecked. Iāve been waking up daily in a funk, lazy, unmotivated, binge eating then dealing with feelings of guilt afterwards. Putting in bare minimum hours work wiseā¦ just kinda reverting to old behavior when I was drinking. And Iāve been having the thoughts about drinking, thoughts cycling into my head that I could control drinking because Iāve gone so long without itā¦ Iām watching people look like theyāre having so much fun while connecting over drinks. Just romanticizing. I know one things for sure, itās time to recalibrate my focus. I donāt like where Iām headed mentally. Sigh. Going to get back to daily journaling and gonna try to get back into blowing off steam at the gym. Just venting.
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Strap in for a long ride coz here in Australia we started with a 6 week lock down, and it turned into a 6 month lock down. Literally. We have Been in lock down for 6 monthsā¦ We are finally having our restrictions eased as of this week. Slowly though. We are aloud to leave our houses now unconditionally so thatās greatā¦ But yeah 6 weeks was continually extended and it turned into 6 months so brace yourself and be prepared, it could happen to you 
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Thank you Donna! Iām loving that gif. Reminds me of our younger days. 
You and I would have raised hell together, if we knew each other back then.
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Gym will help a lot. One time I was getting a craving I looked up drunk people on YouTube and it totally turned me off. The reality is so different from what we may think weāre missing.
Youāre doing awesome, Shay!
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Iāll make a single goal for tomorrow that will make me happy if its the only thing I do, go to the gym. Thank you Donna. I hope youāve been well.
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You know what d, this really worked for me. I have never been a committed journaler. I would never do it consistently every day etc. But lately for the past month, like clock work every morning as soon as Iām awake and make my coffee I sit on the couch and I write three full pages. Three. Every morningā¦and you Know what, magic happened. My brain begun to process stuff that I tended to not pay attention to and in no time I was fully aware of my thoughts and what was going on Iām my days and how much time I was wasting doing nothingā¦ The entrys would just be a brain dump of anything. Some days Iād run outta things to write Coz Iād been so consistent with doing it every day, my mind was getting so clear and organized that there wasnāt much to dump lolā¦ Such a good feeling! So when I did have days where I was just like blah stuff it I donāt feel like moving from the couch today, I was so aware of what I was doing, or in that case wasnāt doing lol, that I felt so guilty at my slothness lol that it didnāt last long Coz of me being aware through my journal writing every morningā¦ I hope that helps you a bitā¦ Also, google "morning pages " itās a thing
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day 280.85
Had a wonderful day! Happy sober Friday to all. 
& 
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I love this. I know exactly what you mean and what your experiences feel like because I went through a whole thick ass notebook journaling the beginning of this summer and it was the therapy I never knew I needed. Then I just fell off after making progress in life (I have this bad habit of quitting the behavior that works after positive results begin to manifest, like, a fear of success or I just forget what the pain feels like or something). Getting back into a morning ritual, doing my affirmations, and just being obsessed with self growth is where I need to get back to. In huge part, working up to 1 year sober was a huge motivator for me and I wanted to tackle ALL of the goals because sobriety felt so empowering. But now itās just my default and that built in motivator is kinda gone. I just have to learn how to consistently stay responsible, self motivated and driven without a reason other than the fact that Iām an adult and it should be my default. I used to be extremely lazy and itās a struggle rewiring my brain not to be like that anymore. I hope Iām making sense. Lol
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Vent away girl I think a lot of people are in a funk right now. 
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Thank you. Missed you too! Youāll be seeing more of me because when Iām not treating my sobriety like a daily priority those those thoughts creep back in. I appreciate the support here. Youāre all so wonderful.
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Yesssss I resonate will all of this lolā¦ I do the exact same thing lolā¦ Iām only at 6 months but my mind is working at that same mentality where Iām on auto pilot and with all things that work etc and itās like I need to flip over to that bit where Iām OK with the rest of my days being like this, and not constantly in the middle of a battle with myself to work towards something etcā¦ Itās hard isnāt it! I think we may have to just constantly be challenged in life by the sounds of it. When things start to work consistently, we gotta get outta the head frame we get stuck in when we are coasting lolā¦are we bored do you think sometimes lol?!?
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I think itās the change of seasons or something. I have alot to do and alot of responsibilities to manage so going days on the couch is extremely depressing because I know I should be using that time more wisely. Thatās what Iāve been doing. Waking up late feeling shame then defaulting to tea in the morning, then I start stressing over working from home or going to the officeā¦then I start feeling overwhelmed by my lack of actions, over thinking, then I just turn on the TV. Hours wasted binge watching stuff. Then aftetwards Iām feeling depressed about being unmotivated and getting nothing done. I used to do this when I was drunk, so Iām basically drunk me without the alcohol. I havenāt been like this since last year. I just think I need to stop being so hard on myself.
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on the weekends I like to lay in bed in the mornings and catch up on my favourite youtubersā¦ This girl is one of my favourite youtubers, and she just made this video about being in a rut in 2020ā¦ I think alot of us resonate with thisā¦ Itās a good videoā¦ Have a watch if it interests you 
ā¦ I couldnāt link the video so just search it in you tube 
ā¦ I couldnāt link the video so just search it in you tube
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