Poor thing. I’m so sorry you’re hurting. I’m also sorry that your husband did not take to heart how he could help you and what he could say that would NOT be helpful. I don’t blame you for snapping at him but I know it doesn’t make you feel any better about having done it.
I hope the treadmill loosens you up a bit. And that journaling brings you some peace of mind. I’ll be thinking peaceful pain free thoughts for you today.
That’s interesting. That’s part of the reason I’m a big fan of Saturday too. It was the day I decided to stop drinking after a Friday day and night going hard on wine. That first Saturday was ROUGH. I had to work at the crack of dawn and I was cursing myself. But now every Saturday while I’m setting up the tent for farmers market I’m so happy I’m not hungover. And I can actually take in and enjoy the morning. Congrats on 42 weeks! You’re a champion!
Checking in day 45 - felt i was doing fine until been told to isolate 10 days, within first night couldnt sleep and was full of memories ive tried for a while to ignore, feeling a huge pull to give up but doing my best to keep mentally strong and accept the way things are now
That poor person. I hope they recover quickly. It must be so scary to have to be alone in the hospital. Stay safe (looks like you are with all the gear)
You sneaky thing! 
Snapped a pic of my better side 
Day 38- feeling really hopeful and motivated. Maybe because winter and snow is here and this is my happy season. I get seasonal affective disorder really bad towards the end of summer every year. And although fall has been here for some time the weather hasn’t been reflecting that.
Thank you so much for your words. They are needed. It’s day 8 and I’m clean but my gosh I am struggling. I will look into further help. Thank you. Hope you are well and having a good week.
Day 137 clean and sober today. Sitting in the drive thru waiting for Mccrappy food because I didn’t wake up on time. Trying to set mental health boundaries with myself as Faith is having a really hard time with her mental health right now which used to trigger the shit out of me but for some reason I’m unusually calm. Please pray and/or send good vibes out to her as she’s struggling right now. Thank you everyone, love you guys!!! 
@Jamesyb hang in there man! Just think about how seriously it could affect your life if you pick up now since your body is fighting off COVID. You’ll be done with isolation before you know it.
@RosaCanDo I’m sorry you’re having another rough go today. Just remember to take it one day at a time and don’t let yourself get overwhelmed by the past or the future. I read a few days ago that the chemical changes alcohol causes to our brains can take almost a year to heal. I attribute a lot of my bad days to things like that; my body just trying to find balance again. No idea if it’s true but that’s what I like to think and it helps me stay at peace and stay sober.
@Rockstar24777 Man it’s funny you mention McDonald’s…I had nuggets for the first time since I got sober the other day. They were so delicious I wasn’t even mad at myself lol
Thank you. I apologized and he said, “ I know, I tried to fix it again, sorry.” You see, he is an engineer and has that sort of mind, so it’s tough for him to just be present with me. He so wants to help and I feel for him, and I do throw him a bone now and then with things he can do to help (like vacuum ) but it’s hard to see our loved ones in pain. And it hurts me more to lash out at them, too. So, at least on the relationship front it’s all good and we will get through this. Heading down to “tread” now and I’m already feeling better. Thanks for listening.
@Nordique thanks to you, too. I’ve read that also and am keeping that in mind. It’s funny you say that, but I am absolutely using the one day at a time mentality and other coping skills that have helped me in sobriety to deal with this pain, as well, and it does help! The sun came out so I went out back with my dogs and chased them around a bit. A little sunshine on my face and some brisk air really woke me up out of the funk. So I’ll add that to my list of recovery tools! I appreciate your comments, I really do.
That’s hilarious !!!
That’s good to know about it taking a long time for our mind to find balance; I’ve never been this forgetful and I feel so dumb sometimes.
You are an amazing person…
I read your post, you really have thought about her feelings through this?
I hope you are ok, whatever the outcome I know you have faith to keep strong and you can see that through your post.
I hope it works out the way you want it too, you deserve love.
Day 135 for me. I had another “thank god I’m sober” moment last night…
I couldn’t sleep so I got up and was having a midnight snack when one of my dental crowns popped right out. Like straight up just fell out of my mouth; and it’s a one of my two front teeth.
Scheduled an emergency appointment at the dentist this morning and rolled up looking like a hockey player. The dentist cemented it back into place but I have to go back a few times for the procedure to have a new one made because he said this one won’t last.
Thank god I’m sober because old me probably would have been drunk when it happened and freaked out. Then I would have been way too hungover to sit at the dentist this morning. I probably would have tried but then had a panic attack. Then all of this probably would have resulted in me taking at least one day off work and wasting a day off.
So instead of being upset I need to have the procedure done I am choosing to be grateful for my sobriety. Have a great day guys.
Checking in - Day 8. Still sober and moving forward. Finding myself feeling irritated. Annoyed that my boyfriend is still drinking, but it is what it is. I just don’t want to be around it anymore. But I can only control myself. Thinking about starting some sort of art project later to shift my focus. Maybe a diamond painting or just doodling. Also, going to get some exercise and go for a drive. Stay strong everyone, we are in this together 
Thanks man,covid aint as bad as cold turkey so for me its a minor inconvience haha
Yeah I always thought that alcohol was out of your system once you were sober. I learned a few days ago that is actually can stay in your system for up to 10 days after your last drink and the imbalances in your brain can take up to a year to heal if the damage isn’t permanent.
Crazy stuff.
Just an observation on my end. Earlier in the summer you seemed to be doing quite well. You were stringing some days together and checking in her every day. Then you decided you were spending too much time here and dropped off. Since that time you’ve had sporadic contact here and also sporadic sobriety. It seems that daily check-ins here were serving you quite well. You know I’m a big AA guy as it has kept me sober for nearly 3 years, but I am also active on this forum pretty much daily. I doubt it’s a coincidence.
My copy is to arrive today too! 
Hey day something. I haven’t been counting. My book is going well. Almost 4 chapters done. All good. Life is good.