Waking up on day 12. A little sluggish this morning but I’ll push through. Almost 2 weeks sober, it feels good. Have a terrific Thursday everyone!
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@Jennajen congratulations in your 132 days sober.
You are doing great!!! Relapse dreams are tricky. Don’t pay any attention to them
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It is actually “dark fruit” cider, but the taste is fizzy, alcoholic ribena. It is in the UK. Alcohol for people who actually don’t like alcohol.
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Day 276. Didn’t lift today, not risking anything my neck still hurts a lil. And so this guy works where I work,he kind of runs the gym at work. We need some soap dispenser and small other things to get the gym going. Well my department has the soap dispenser, so I asked my supervisor and she yes we can have them. I told him that and he got mad, well even if you do get them the gym can’t open up yet is a snotty voice, I think he wants to be the hero. He has to have all control over it, and I think he will be mad because I’ll no longer want to lift at his house where it’s convenient for him. I’m really thinking about telling him I’m done lifting with him, he’s a good dude in many ways. But I think I’m just done untill I can start doing shit my way. Probably a good time for a cut and some cardio work anyways
My moms brother is having issues with his wife, I see his Facebook post and him I can tell when he is drunk and fighting with her, he is loud and likes to drink. And what does my mom do, tells him he can come stay with us. Like wtf are you doing Mom, life is already packed and shit here with all of us In this house. Serenity prayer. I told her it’s not a good idea, we’ve already been through to much, but she says no he isn’t like that, i told her mom I’m not ready for loud uncle Corey, I can’t do it. But she doesn’t care what I say. If he comes Im not sure what I’ll do as I don’t have the funds, and dont even see any apartments available in the paper. I’m a lil stressed about it. But anyways much love to all, keep killing it I see alot of you doing so well, some are struggling and in pain, and I’m thinking about you all. Keep the great work
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I would definitely look at lifting somewhere else Mike. Apart from achieving the goal of keeping fit sports etc are supposed to be fun.
You ain’t getting any fun out of it at the moment.
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Probably best to look on the internet for accommodation advertising… And you mentioned face book as well? Didn’t the topic of social media just get discussed recently about deleting it all. After the snap chat incident… It will really be a huge help for you moving forward if you delete all of your social medias.
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Yeah. That’s what I use, is the internet to look up the paper for the apartments:( like I said small town population of 3000 not much available unfortunately. And I do agree about fb 
, but then I’d have no idea how much of a drunk my uncle who my mother is about come to live with us is. So for this I’m kind of glad to have fb so I can keep my girls safe, I don’t want him coming to stay with us. Just sucks my mom doesnt see it and is willing to put us all In danger
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I can ride through my whole town on my bike in like a hour and hit every single street. The closest towns are about 30 to 45 minutes away. It sucks here
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This is so true. Sobriety has centered me and graced me with perspective.
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I got reminded that I haven’t checked in for a bit. I. Doing well here just really busy! House buying process going well so far, new position keeps me working hard but is going well, and most importantly the family is doing well. I have a lot to be thankful for today. I hope everyone else is doing well and enjoying the fall!
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Man, I know that feeling. My marriage is 1000 times better now that I’m sober; better in literally every way. One of the best ways is just what you said…I used to sneak a lot of drinks and then try so hard to cover my tracks. It was either sneaking beers and trying to hide the empties, or sneaking shots and hoping I could play it cool and not act drunk. I was such a dipshit.
That caused me so much anxiety and put so much stress on the relationship. I always felt so bad about it but could never stop.
I will never go back to that way of life. It’s amazing feeling free and not feeling like you’re constantly trying to hide something. To me, it’s one of the best parts of sobriety. Congrats on day 11 
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Both my boyfriends parents are, yes. 
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Thanks for this much needed right now 
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Yes, he is a member of the family. He is also a personal protection dog. He will bark, bite, and come back on command. He is also loyal, friendly, cuddly, and most of all stubborn.
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German Shepherds are fantastic dogs. Every one I have known has been smart as a whip and incredibly loyal.
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Day 146 clean and sober today. I went to the doctor yesterday and she wanted me to stop work and wrote me off for 2 weeks until I can get with my primary care doctor to set up therapy and injections. My back is really bad, now my finger tips on my right hand are numb. I talked to my friend who is the boss at my work and told him I can’t afford to be off work and that I’m going to be a little slower than normal and he said no problem. Then I had to come in yesterday which was my day off and now I’m also swamped today with so much work they’ve scheduled for me that I’m having a lot of anxiety. I shouldn’t be working but my shame/inner child make me feel that I have to. Like I’d be letting them down or that I’m just making a big deal out of it. Idk, I’m going to do the best I can today and not stress out at all to the best of my ability. I was honest about what’s going on and if I’m to slow for them I guess they’ll fire me but that’s on them. I’m going to try and not let things get me worked up today. Proud of everyone that’s doing the deal every day no matter what. Just a shout out to @Jennajen, wow you’re really kicking ass my friend I love that you are doing well you deserve it!!! Have a great day everyone, love you guys!!! 
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Day 59: I felt some powerful shifts in thinking and feeling yesterday. It was like the universe was shining on me, not just the sun! Sounds hokey, but hey, that’s what I felt. I felt some weight lifting off, my mind clearing, my eyes seeing more, it’s hard to describe. I took a solo walk with no intention other than to visit the local Arboretum, and I realized that I had never been there, even though I had every opportunity to (it’s less than 10 min drive from my house), and it’s because I had been hiding since we moved here in January of 2019. I was in a really bad spot emotionally before that, and I intended to use the move as a fresh start. That didn’t last long, I dove deeper into depression and drinking and then the seemingly endless cycle of trying to quit and relapsing began. I didn’t know where to begin to work on getting better. I got to a place where I didn’t even WANT to get better, I got comfortable in my misery. I look back at that time, and the times after that when I relapsed hard in both my depression and alcohol use and I never want to go back there. I am seeing real progress in myself now, a focus on recovery and self-improvement, and an understanding that booze offers me no benefit (to put it mildly). I did not set out to write this rambling post, this is what went through my mind while out on this walk, here it is and I guess I am just going to post it. Today I’m grateful for days when the universe shines on me and despite the chaos inherent in it, I feel some of those rays sending love my way.
One more thing: I decided to add some milestones to my counter and I’m pretty excited about it!
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Sorry, I feel guilty posting this because it’s a bit of a downer. My mother has gone into life end care. I haven’t seen her since March because I have been in a nursing home (not let out due to SARS Covid-19 precautions), threats from my brother in law and being homeless. I am 145 days sober and with another lockdown in England I will see her only at her funeral. I just wish she could see me now - not drunk and she could read my book I’m writing… Oh well.
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55 days.
I managed to sleep a bit better last night. Today has been mostly a bed day, I almost didn’t attend the support group Zoom session but I’m glad I did. I’ve just finished the last of the leftovers from pizza yesterday so I can now reset the timer for that, I feel relieved now it’s all gone.
I’m less sad than I was yesterday, trying to be strong for Prince but he’s really not himself bless him. Hopefully as the days progress, things will get better, I can only hope and pray 
It’s my testosterone injection tomorrow morning and I usually feel better after that. It actually explains why I may have given in to my pizza craving yesterday and spent most of today in bed and haven’t managed even one walk. So I’m hoping things will be on the up again, physically and emotionally, after the shot first thing 
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