Day 267~ Checking in. Checking in early as nights I’m usually at the shop and by the time I get home I’m exhausted and just needing to sleep. I feel down today. I’m just not feeling the love and I’m feeling sad. I miss my dogs, I miss my mom. I feel so disconnected from my family it’s really bothering me more than usual today. To top it all off I’ve got a raging headache
One good thing is it’s absolutely beautiful outside today… hit 70 degrees today and 70 in November in New England is almost unheard of. I’ll take the good with the bad I suppose. I don’t know that’s all I got for now… well I got a lot more but I’m just not up for talking about it.
Be kind to one another and most importantly to yourself. Keep fighting.
Glad you’re still here.
I am myself fighting some visualization of drinking it had been 2 days now. I try to let it in and go, as I know going for it won’t make any good. Some part of me want to just say fuck this and drink myself up. But I rely on my plan and say it here, talk to my girl, and we’re going to plan the weekend accordingly. Even tonight it has to be adressed because I want to stay sober. I need this.
Stay strong man.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Grief is so hard and…unpredictable! That’s a lot of excitement, stress and hard work for one person. You’ve been so important to me and, I know, many others here. I remember when I first joined, you were talking about heading up to camp and I thought, hey, she can do that without bringing a case of beer and she still has fun. Your selfies are inspiring and you look so healthy. There’s a lot of love for you out there - probably more than you realize. Hope you get some sleep and at least a chance to put your feet up this weekend. Really cool to own an ice-cream shop. It’s like a little kid dream come true!
I admire your strength and thoughtfulness, I’m sure you can defeat the cravings, you have your tools and a trained mind to do so. Reach out here any time if you are in any trouble.
@anon60334405 Oh gosh, Mike, that sounds like a wtf-is-going-on therapy session Did ur daughter get hurt breaking the sink? Well, since it’s important to be open and honest in therapy you can relax now, they’ve seen your temper, right? Good on you mate for getting thru those hurdles!
@Conor689908 A panic attack sure sounds scary! I hope you’re doing better
@anon27760155 Great quote, Danni! Thanks! Have a great day!
@Rockstar24777 It seems you have quite a bit of negative self talk going on, Rob. It’s really toxic and often not true. I can totally relate. Being such a practical person I give suggestions even when not asked for
If you’d had a friend in your situation, would you say that they’re a horrible worker? Would you gladly fire them?
I’m guessing you wouldn’t but you’d have compassion? I’m merely trying to point out that we’re often harsh on ourselves and more patient with others. I catch myself beating me to the ground when I try to see myself like a friend would.
It was really nice of your boss to text you! That’s so rare!
@Thirdmonkey Beautiful. Please give that girl a hug (or whatever is appropriate :)) It takes helluva lot courage and determination to keep living when you want to die. So glad she’s there with you all!!
@Dragonflygirl82 Sending you hugs Courtney! Love hasn’t gone away even if you can’t feel it. Maybe hug your family long and tight? Ground yourself to get connected
So make the choice. Go alcohol free!
Make the changes in your life that will allow you to be a non drinker.
Don’t think of yourself as anything other than a non drinker.
It seems to me that you are fighting the fact of whether you are an alcoholic or not?
Does it matter?
There’s a great AA saying that I’ve found myself agreeing with.
I’d rather go through life sober believing I’m an alcoholic, than go through life drunk trying to convince myself I’m not!
@anon28001181 And congratulations for going ur furthest sober yet! Last time I surpassed a pb, I felt thrilled but also a bit rudderless. Like I lost a goal and didn’t know what to do. Keep stable and plugging away.
Thank you so much I really appreciate the kind words some days are harder than others but in the end the goal of remaining sober is always the top priority. @Olivia thank you also I could use a big hug right about now. Now off to go make some people’s night a little brighter with a yummy sundae
My boyfriends father passed away from complications of Covid19 today. His mother is on a ventilator as of yesterday. We are hoping she pulls through. It’s been a rough week. Can’t wait for 2020 to be over.
I’ll take the good with the bad I suppose. I don’t know that’s all I got for now… well I got a lot more but I’m just not up for talking about it.
Did ur daughter get hurt breaking the sink? 
Well, since it’s important to be open and honest in therapy you can relax now, they’ve seen your temper, right? 
Good on you mate for getting thru those hurdles! 
some days are harder than others but in the end the goal of remaining sober is always the top priority. 
I could use a big hug 
right about now. 
I’m so sorry you have to feel like this. Hugs.