Day 135.
Tired! Some days are like that though. Was supposed to get more done, but there’s always tomorrow. Better to be tired and give it all another try tomorrow than wake up with shame and “hangziety” (thank you @Desire2ChangeToday for the term!).
@Clarity Everything @CapriciousCapricorn said. I’m not that many days ahead of you, and when I think of what you’ve crammed into 110 days (I can think of 2 biggies but I’m sure there’s more…), I give every 5 minutes of you staying sober a standing ovation. I have days or chunks of days where I feel restless, like I have ADHD, can’t focus, wired but tired, tired but jittery - and I realize I’m still learning sometimes how to do this. But then I come on here and read, or just distract myself - everything you are already doing. Stay with us. We can drink too much coffee and then hafta pee during savasana
And everyone else - thanks for sharing another day
420 Days. I’ve been super busy between work and studying that I didn’t have time to go out to dinner to celebrate my hubby’s birthday. He was in the hospital and we had to postpone it so his sister decided tonight was the night to do it. I felt bad but I need to pass this exam as it affects my career and livelihood. Hubby understands and was fine with me not going but I did experience FOMO. I got over it and continued studying. Now I’m totally exhausted. I’m getting too old for these 15 hour days.
Yes, it’s Friday and I’m extremely nervous. I was making myself sick over it but I finally decided to be positive and the outcome will be what it will be.
Day 272~ Another day is the books. It still just really blows my mind how different life is now. It’s like a complete 180. I’m not just saying that… it’s for real. Some days are a struggle and I feel a rollercoaster of emotions but I’m sober. I wasn’t living life for so long. I don’t look at it as years wasted though. I was lost, I was broken, and felt such sadness. I know realize I was grieving. It may have taken me almost a decade since my mom passed but I’ve made it through. I’ll always miss and long for my mother and no matter what I try to do I can’t change it or bring her back. Life does go on and should go on.
I know my mom would be proud of me over these several months and I feel her around me daily.
thanks everyone… so grateful for 300 days…
I’m in the middle of a crisis/meltdown at the moment…just called one of my addiction counsellors already thankfully…have a lot of support and without it and 300 days behind me i would be trying to find drugs…I have already undergone a surgery almost 14 months ago where they removed a disc from my lower back. I’m freaking out cause i hurt my back again, and am afraid that the 2nd disc they were concerned about might be deteriatited to the point that i’m going to have to go get it looked at. I dont want to go back in a wheelchair ajhhjhhhh
God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Going to try and sleep and hope that it feels a little better in the morning. If not I’ll have to go to the doctors again and see what they say.
So thats where my heads at thankfully not drinking or using about it.
Thanks for all the get well wishes yesterday. I went back to sleep after posting, overslept my covid test time, my fever had gone by then, and I did get an appointment with my GP later this morning. I’m pretty sure my fever was not caused by covid but instead by the pilonidal cyst that seems to have reappeared after more then 25 years of absence. Literally a bummer but not the end of the world. It’s certainly not challenging my sobriety. I’m really beyond that now, although I’ll always have to be alert. One of the ways I do that is by checking in here daily. Thanks for being here all. Love from Amsterdam. Sober and clean.
Thanks for posting, we want to read about your procrastination, Tommo! I struggle with the same behaviour on a daily basis … sometimes I feel like I have to “parent myself” because I’m acting like a stubborn child. I think recognizing those patterns is a first step, now we have to develop better strategies to deal with procrastinating
130 days today. Just some random number, but a nice one. We had bad news last night: a friend has been diagnosed with colon cancer. She’s just a week younger than me, with two small children. Her doctors are confident they can deal with it, but it’s going to be a struggle for her family.
I felt really upset all evening after talking to her, but eventually laid out all in front of God and, on another level, her doctors. I can’t worry her cancer away, but I can be there for her and her family. It also made me grateful for my family and the fact that we’re all healthy. I was not really tempted to drink, although I did think of it. Old me would have relied on drink to numb the pain just ahead of bed.
So today it’s been morning routine, take kid to school bus, tidy up the house, get ready to remote teach in a couple of hours. I’ve even put on a tiny bit of make up so I don’t look like Corpse Bride on camera.
Day 25, bad nights sleep, intrusive thoughts last night so gonna focus on healthy things today, exercise, weights and a meeting if i can get some private space to talk.
Checking in, day 7. Tonight in my dream I was shaving my face, and it was so bad to wake up. Sometimes I have dreams about having a proper body. Usually I can focus on the positive things, but sometimes I just feel so let down by my body. I have to work out 10 times hard than an xy-guy to achieve tenth of result. And there are so many things I cannot even change a bit. I cannot change my voice or my face. I hate being so feminine.
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I’m also awful with taking tests.
