I like that being clean is my new happiness !!! Daniš im so happy that your feeling motivated once again thats the spirit !!!
Awesome to hear it, Charlie 
and that looks deeeeelish!
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Thanks! Its great to be back!
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cheers mate, plodding along nicely, excuse me if I donāt get too excited, excitement has been my downfall for years. 
Weāre sober today and itās good enough for me 
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Iāve really found that being tired and overwhelmed are big triggers. Even when I love my job I can push it so hard that the only way to unwind is to drink or take pills. Itās been a way to excel and outperform others for years. No need for real self care - just work til you drop and wipe out all the stress at the end of the day. I worried that by becoming sober I would lose this āsuper powerā but actually have found in recent weeks as long as I take some time to slow down and reflect Iām just as productive as I was before, possibly more so as Iām not battling the hangover with pints of coffee by daytime!
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Day 4
After a few relapses, Iām back again. Learned a lot from the fallbacks and know what I can expect now (including unexpected cravings). I now know for sure I canāt control my drinking behavior in any way. I realized that I have 30 maybe 40 yrs to go, and I want to spent those years as healthy and vital as possible. Be a good mother for my little boy. And spent precious time with my loved ones with a clear mind and an open heart. I had enough drinks in my life. Enjoyed it, hated it. Itās enough.
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I can totally relate to this.
I think one reason why this past week Iāve been struggling with cravings is some part of this. I think that Iāve been sprints of works for years. Sprint through the day/through the project of the month, then wipe out for the time of a bender. Stretches back into work all-in, then break it off with booze again. Now I am slowly learning to do things on the long-term.
I am currently switching from sprinting to marathoning. I am Literally doing this in my training too (from Crossfit to triathlon) - and both in my life and training it is a total game changer. Gotta adapt the way you fuel yourself, manage differently the energy, different focus and intensity, different recovery and frame of workā¦ I have to learn how to flush the stress away without having to drink it out. I guess slowing down my days and introduce more recovery time during the day and booking less my schedules and my expectations could be a good starting point. Working on it.
Thanks for sharing!
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Iām sorry the isolation is taking its toll on you. I live alone too, although not working atm (long sick leave bc mental health). Weāve not had a lockdown since the spring but it is still hard to manage days. I see 2 of my dear friends in this town. None of us has family here so weāve been spending time with each other when possible, but seeing no one else. We didnāt have to isolate completely.
I take part in ts zooms, call friends, meet up with some locals for social distancing walks 
i try not to watch or read the news often since it only pulls me down. Journaling, crocheting or doing something else with my hands helps me to stay grounded in the now and gives my brain chance to take a breath.
Such things. I hope you find your ways to cope.
Disclaimer for the internet: Obviously you should follow officialsā guidelines in your activities
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Checking in and out for today. I read a lot. I feel good atm. Calm, in a way. Learn a lot. Gifts in form of people surrounding me to learn lessons. Let people have their opinions. Everything they express towards me is their responsibility and part. It has nothing to do with me. They are expressing their way of thinking depending on their own experiences. These are not mine. I learn in baby steps not to take it personal. Working is somehow fun atm. I like going to work even when it seems boring to others. I really like it. There comes some shame. Hello, welcome, I respect you. These feelings can come and go. I know where they come from and they are not real.
It is good to see people here, new ones, old ones, being in recovery. I am so grateful I took this decision over 2 years ago now. I am grateful. I can learn now.
Have a wonderful evening everybody 
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Today was so productive. Got up early and deep cleaned my kitchen then hammered over 50+ calls of leads from available properties I have available for rent. Iāve got a late appointment for tonight, will be busy tomorrow morning. When Iām busy, I have no time to be depressed. Iāve cleaned up my diet dramatically over the past 3 days which I believe is directly impacting my mental health and overall energy levels. Iām appreciative of my lows because without them, self reflection and my internal drive would likely not occur or kick in and the highs wouldnāt be appreciated. Hope everyoneās trying their best to get out of their heads.
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Goodnight all.
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Congratulations on you 60 days Seb.
Glad youāre avoiding the crash. Maybe itāll ease up next week.
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Nice weather today. Got out for a slow, partly painful walk with one of my housemates to get cell phone time. Just had our weekly house meeting with a counsellor present. It went well as per usual. Got some time alone with the counsellor. He wanted to check in with me cause I havenāt been at the treatment center volunteering. I was shocked he didnāt remember from last week I hurt my back, you mean its not all about me Lol life will and does humble us. My brother-in-laws birthday today. Mom messaged to tell me that, so nice texting with her. Iām looking forward to calling him and talk with my sister too. Did some daily readings, praying and eating. Pretty good day so far.
God bless you all.
&
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Day 102
My big night out tonight! Lol, 8 people so hardly massive but I rarely go out in the evenings. I am looking forward to catching up with people I havenāt seen for months and interested in how I will feel. I know how I will act, I wonāt drink, but I canāt control my feelings. I popped in to change the booking and the sounds and sights of the cafe/bar made me realise I still romanticise drinking.
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Ooo, enjoy your night out! How I miss socializing with women friends. I hope this will help normalize being in that type of setting and not drinking - I think that could help with the romanticizing. Have fun!
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Day 12. We are taking a troubled teen back in. We had her with us for a couple of weeks before. She had another dust up with her father. There are a lot of mental health issues on both her and his side, so the mom asked if she could come back and stay a few days. Itās stress I donāt need right now but it will be fine. My kids and I are just very chill and she is a bit more high maintenance.
Everything is going well. I am still not sleeping well. From my past experiences, I know it could be well into the 20s before I do. It is what it is. Itās the path I have to retrace.
Our Recovery Dharma group will be hosting an all-day āmeetingā on Thanksgiving. Some will be actual meeting time, some silent meditation, some guided meditations, some dance party, some Dharma talks. I will post the link prior to Thursday, in case anyone needs to have a calm place with community to pop in and out of during the day.
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Day 6 ~ Friday night relaxing in bed with the dogs watching some TV. I took the day off work today since I have to either āuse or loseā my accrued vacation time by the end of the year. Had to get some groceries this afternoon and the store was a crazy packed 3 ring circus. It was sooooo annoying and really got to me. And I swear the storeās alcohol section is larger than the groceries. Iām glad my daughter was with me or I would have been tempted to get a bottle. But I didnāt. Got home, put the groceries away, made some homemade soup and now Iām going to chill with my pups. Iām so happy I resisted temptation. Really makes me realize how I just need to remember that āthis too shall passāā¦ referring to the temptation. I will be so thankful in the morning!! Hope everyone had a great Friday. My daughter and I are getting the Christmas tree and decorations up tomorrow. Life is good. Stay strong my friends!! 
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Day#84 and I will admit that each evening Iāve been tempted. What harm will one glass of red do? But last night, I had a nightmare that Iād given in and things got crazy. Awoke in relief! So tonight when I was tempted, I though of that. Now Iām soooo happy I didnāt give in. Love the GIF^^^ above!
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