Hi 
thanks for asking. Iām doing ok. The results are backed up because of the amount of people testing. Everyday they say another couple days. Iāve had every symptom and was exposed so I kinda think I already know. Iāve been resting up and isolated from my family until I know for sure.
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I am sorry to hear you are feeling bad. As for purpose, the only purpose you need is to be your kind, interesting self. I saw some Moomin stuff and was reminded of you the other day.
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You are doing great Jenna. You really are. I remember being meh about then. Not really sure what was wrong or how to rectify it.
Up and down left and right.
I literally thought to myself āok if this is how itās going to be for a bit so be it!ā Chalked it up to recovery and waited to get to the spot many of the people ahead of me on here were experiencing. I knew it would come. I just had other things to sort out first.
It will get better.
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Of course always here 
ok i see wow 
well i hope not sending a prayer your way and having faith and hope you come back ok ! Kudos for taking serious measures with your family they always come first 
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Day 597. Still going, feeling a lot better. Best to everyone 
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Whatās up crew. Hope all is well, everyone is trying to staying sober and happy as can be. It was a pretty good day. Got another job offer which is so great. It took some time, but working hard for employment is finally paying off. If lucky, I may be able to have a full time office gig and part time physical position. It would be a lot of work, but if I can make it work; I could dig out of this hole I dug fairly quick. Weāll see how it pans out.
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Follow up to the re-aggravation of my back injury.
Iāve decided that I am going to take 3 months off from lifting and running. See if the extended time helps it heal for good, as I have never tried that approach.
If Iām ever going to just bite the bullet and try an extended recovery period, the time is now - gym is probably going to get closed again anyhow, its winter so will be bundled up (vanity), and getting back in the gym ~12 weeks from now will (hopefully) be around the time the vaccine comes and we can start getting back to normal. Until then I can hide out, work on myself, rest, heal, and if I am not in top shape or donāt look how I want to ā Iāll just have to learn to be accepting and forgiving towards myself for it. Iāll have time to get back in form before āreal lifeā as we knew it resumes and the weather also improves. I also know that while there will be losses in strength and physical appearance, I wonāt totally go to shit. I know how to manipulate my diet etc to help things. I have the knowledge and the tools to do this right.
Iām not going totally inactive. Iām going to continue with my PT exercises to keep my core and hips strong. Iām also going to use this time to commit to a yoga routine, Iām finding āfollow alongā stretching routines on youtube, work on my mobility/flexibility, and address some mechanical issues which I think contribute to the persistence of my back issue - which will all help in my eventual return to the gym, and ideally, being able to live my life again and being myself. I am looking at this 3-month recovery period as an investment in my future health. Iāll still be waking up at 4am, not breaking that habit.
I usually spiral big time, mentally, when my back acts up. But I feel good, calm. A little worried, since 3 months will be the longest Iāve gone without lifting/running in almost 9 years, but I think Iāll be OK. Iām actually excited to dedicate more towards the other stuff I listed above, putting together a new routine for myself, and following along stretching routines online will help me slow down, tooā¦I tend to rush through my stretching a bit. Hell, I rush through everything in my life.
I also think this will possibly give me the space to learn to love myself outside of the fitness stuff. I can be so hard and so critical of myself when it comes to it, and I put so much of my own self-worth on constantly driving towards being in the best shape possible. No skipping workouts, no mistakes, no fucking around. For me, personally, skipping workouts etc represents a failure of self, an unacceptable lack of commitment and discipline (I donāt feel this way towards others, just to be clear - this is all self-directed). I never skip, ever. And although I am proud of that discipline, and proud of the effort I put in, I canāt put all my worth in that basket.
Kind of scared, but letās see what happens.
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Checking in. Day 227. So just had a reminder of what I was like drinking. Had to visit a family member to make sure they were ok from drinking too much. Maybe I needed to be reminded to keep me grounded.
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Good luck with the new approach T. I really hope it helps your back pain. Iāve suffered from back pain and itās the absolute worse. I know a change in your regular routine can mentally be challenging but remain strong. 
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You always tell me what I need to hear @anon12657779. The house is tidy enough for us and I have no company coming over anytime soon. Youāre right, spending sober time with my family is way more important. Thank you again for your wise wise words!!
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Mom is feisty!! She is wonderful and despite my crummiest behavior has had my back.
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Glad to see you checking in!
Weāll never turn our backs on you @anon27760155 no matter what happens in your life.
I can relate to many years of lying to make others happy. Coming to terms with this in sobriety has been a huge eye-opener for me as Iām sure it was for you too.
You have come so far in your 114 days and continue to amaze me every single day when I read your posts. You are kicking ass!!
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I had no idea. Itās everywhere. I will say that I was 99% convinced I had it after dealing so closely with 140 voters and that didnāt turn out to be the case. At any rate, remember MOST cases are mild and now they have treatments - so much better outcomes than in March. Please let us know. You are in our prayers. You and ice creamā¦
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Checking in. Working Day #87 just clicking along. Trying not to think too much about Tksgiving. Also, this year I decided to make a whole bunch of nostalgic favorites - a whole 1960s menu with broccoli casserole (Yes, there will be not 1 but 2 types of canned soup PLUS Velveeta) and corn pudding. Do not judge. If Iām not gonna drink, then Iām gonna carb load.
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No judgment. Just jealousy! Haha, yum!
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Checking in sober on day 10 at workā¦ Did my first online meeting last night and it was good. Tonight thereās another one and itās a normal meeting. Also catching up with my counselor this afternoon. Trying to not do it alone this time as I realise I do need help and need to reach out. Hope everyone is well.
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Good for you! Congrats on the 9! I began suffering panic attacks when my dad was Iāll- those are super rare now, but mild anxiety shows up now and again. Hope for you the meds continue to help.
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