Great job. I’m a day late (story of my life) haha. So glad to have been kn the road to recovery with such great people.
huge congratulations from my side. This is just awesome 
Thank you, sweetie! 
Day 14 and facing my first big challenge. This evening a couple is coming over for dinner. Normally we’re drinking some bottles of wine and have good long conversations. Love those evenings. This morning I asked what they wanted to drink. I was glad to hear that one of them doesn’t drink, the other does. My hubby drinks probably a few beers (don’t have a problem with that).
I’m happy I asked bc normally I would buy white and red wine cuz so they can choose and I’m sure there will be enough, but I’m scared there will be half or a whole bottle left after they leave. And than Im sure I will enter the danger zone. So that must be avoided at all times now. I decided to buy just 1 bottle of red wine.
It doesn’t feel very hospitable to my drinking guest, but so be it. So much thoughts and scenarios in my head, but I think, I thought this trough and I’m prepared so I can do this!
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- Working the 4th and 5th step was good, but it is still sitting with me. Now in every situation, I’m over thinking everything. Am I being selfish? Dishonest? Self seeking/ fearful, or inconsiderate. Scott the guy I lifted with still keeps bugging me. Like idk I told him last week I was done and didn’t want to lift. Like how much more do I have to paint the picture for you. It’s funny how I went from fearing being alone and wanting friends in the beginning, to now I literally just don’t want friends. I like doing stuff alone, it creates less resentments and stress. Idk much love
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Hey all, checking in on day 169. Nothing special to report over the last week or so but I hope everyone is doing well!
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Yesterday was hard. I used to just pour the drink instead of having to think about what to do all day. It was really hard thinking all day & not just escaping!
Thankfully it was nasty out & my husband didn’t go fishing with his buddies all day. Or we didn’t go fishing and then head to late lunch & margaritas.
Not sure i could’ve handled my first (again) Sunday by myself.
In my “down” time i was on here & the internet way more then i should, almost felt like a new addiction - reading everyone’s stories. But at least I know I’m not by myself this time. I’m not crazy, or that unusual.
The week should be easier - work, hopefully work out, avoid my wineoclock neighbor, cook dinner, clean, tv, repeat - even though i dread my job lately. Thank you all for being here.
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Sanuk - great job asking & nice that only one is drinking! Sorry you feel you have to buy them booze. If there’s any left over just pour it out after they leave. My friend’s here all bring their own drinks if we have get together’s. So Thankfully we only have to think about what we’re having that night. Even being our own little coolers. So i being soda water & juice or lemon / or pellegrini for my tumbler cup (live the tumbler because no one knows what’s in it )
Maybe you can suggest byob dinner parties?
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why am I doing this while it’s so uncomfortable and you know…just fucking cold.<
This right there is gold, and so is your answer to your own question.
“Why” battle, work, accept, or try to control the struggle? Why not escaping it? Why are we here posting this stuff instead of using? Why, at time, I intentionaly choose to stay in the struggle instead of going right where my brain wants to go? Cold shower, meditation, playing music, breathing, etc., takes hard work sometime - why that instead of DOC? Why hard instead of easy?
Long time changes occurs in the brain in discomfort, in behaviours that “shakes” his automatic response to usual life. Every day now is a potential to change, because we no longer cope with life with a bottle. Discomfort and struggle will be not only everywhere, but also and mostly in our thoughts and reflections and mood and reflexes.
So, why fight struggle instead of easing it out with using?
We want to change.
You’re changing and it’s good to see!
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Thanks Beachy! I never in my life threw alcohol down the drain. I think the bottle will get finished, but if not, I will throw it away (and feel very proud afterwards!). Good suggestion to give byob dinner parties, in this case I want to be a good host since his mother just passed away. And soda water with lemon in a tumbler cup sounds great! Hahah.
As for your fear to develop a new addiction, I read somewhere to change an old habit or behaviour, you first have to stick another one over it (that is less harmful of course). Then later on, you can gradually remove the new addiction. And reading here is I think very helpful, so no harm, i guess!
Oh and your wine o’ clock neighbour, I have one too. First time I could get away with, ‘no thanks, I don’t drink this weekend’. Next friday, I will tell them I quit for a longer period.
Good luck with your new routines and your job!
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Day 129 check in.
Life is good. I might have a shopping addiction but I am going to wait until after Christmas to decide if thats the case. Crazy how as an addict I was such a penny pincher! LOL but thought it was perfectly OK to spend thousands on drugs and alcohol. I got all my xmas shopping done though. Except my daughters dad… he wants a mountain bike. Thats a pretty hefty item so I will have to do some research. And my mom, idk what to get her.
Hope you all have a great day today. Thank you all for being here.
@M-be-free49 Congrats on 5 months!! 
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Congratulations on your 5 months.
Oh and one day 
I hope you have a nice week.
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167 days. This morning (1-9am) was my man’s first security shift. I wish l could take back all the bitching I did about a 5pm-1am shift. I slept crappy last night and honestly believe I spent half my time in bed reaching out for my man. Now I’m sitting here getting the oldest ready for online learning and feeling like a zombie. If my man stays up when he gets home I plan on crawling back into bed. If he chooses to lay down it’s going to be a long ass morning. Hopefully tonight I sleep better.
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Day 8. Started at 4am by putting some brisket out on the smoker. I feel tired though I only slept about 4 hours. I haven’t really thought about drinking much in a couple days, but…
I did have a very strong pull of temptation at the grocery store on Saturday when passing near the beer and liquor isle. I was one isle away and had to tell my wife i would meet her at the checkout and walked away. It made me very uncomfortable. My mouth started watering and my heart rate elevated. These situations are quite disturbing and embarrassing to say the least. All the reason to stay focused and on track.
Anyhow, I’m off to work now.
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Okay, TODAY is Day #4 (second round.) Well, I will say this - during my first go at sobriety, I was counting off these first days like they were huge milestones. Now, this is a breeze, though I feel like I have no cred to chime in on anything until I (finally) pass Day 90!
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And you will pass day 90!
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So I got this. Don’t know if it was worth the anxiety to catch it just right 
It wasn’t that bad
Have a nice day y’all.
ooops
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I miss you not chiming in.
I hope you have a nice week
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Day 84: Rough morning, my old dog Chucho having a rough go at it after a rather dramatic cardiac episode that’s got his momma all worked up (me). Discussed with my husband my feelings about it, releasing any guilt and accepting what happens is going to be important. We are resting quietly together while I listen to doggy snores, glance over at the rising and falling of his chest, watch The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher (@siand you asked!) and drink tea and knit and that’s enough for now. Sinking into this moment of quiet comfort after the storm and before whatever bluster may come next. Taking things moment by moment, a lesson well learned in sobriety, for sure.
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