Checking in Daily to Maintain Focus #22

[CATMANCAM]

@Jamie3 Welcome and congrats on 9 days
@M-be-free49 Thank you, I don’t interview well but I’m going to try my best, I will report here tomorrow with how I think I went and congrats on 5 months!

80 days!

Another nice round number. Though the feelings and thoughts I am having aren’t very nice. I saw my recovery co-ordinator today and was honest that I have had some sneaky using thoughts lately, mainly when I don’t get my walks in or when I’m resisting the binge-eating, and she said that the groups are starting up again on the 8th Dec, so I’m going to attend my first CA meeting and see how it goes, because I’m extremely aware that I’m approaching the time when I relapsed (day 88), so anything I can add to my toolbox is a blessing.

I am nervous for my interview in the morning. I don’t feel prepared at all, but then there have been times I’ve felt super prepared for interviews and then not get asked a single question that I’d prepared an answer for and completely blanked out🤦🏻‍♂️ and this is one I feel very passionate about and truly do want, so if at the very least I can portray that, and answer their questions openly and honestly, then hopefully I’ll be in with a chance, and if not, maybe I could apply again in the future next time I see a vacancy. I can’t rely on any particular outcomes in order to be happy or proud of myself, because life has its own terms and it’s better to be happy and proud of the smaller daily accomplishments, than of the hopes and dreams. Atleast that’s how I’m trying to look at life now.

I seem to have lost all motivation for any of the things I want to get done, but I’m aware that the anxiety I have over the interview will be clouding my mind and causing fatigue also, so maybe I will feel more energised once it’s out of the way.

I decided to invest in some orthotic insoles today, and I went for just one short walk with them in. Hopefully they might help a little more than the very cheap heel pads I’ve been relying on.

The extended sleep is continuing, my tracker says 12.3 hours for last night! I’m paying attention to it but only to stay aware. It could just be SAD, but I’m going to call the doctors tomorrow to ask for my Vitamin D, B12, and Iron to all be checked, as they can contribute to fibromyalgia symptoms and may be causing extra fatigue if my levels are out.

See you all tomorrow on the otherside of this interview

[AyBee]

Love your work @Dazercat
three triple-double

[Cnv]

Knitting and yoga! You’re talking my language! Those two things are a really good way to manage stress, anxiety, and depression. Keep it! You inspire me!

[Truckinmonster21]

Nov 30
today oh today is a day where the Devil is dancing and planning away but i will stay strong during this time.

[Butterflymoonwoman]

Stay connected my friend continue walking this beautiful road of happy destiny. Maybe do things to distract yourself. Glad your posting even through difficult times. Haha I should take my own advice lol

[Truckinmonster21]

I really appreciate it
I have to cant just talk about the good times got to keep it real and share days like this one where your about there. I know who iam through sobriety and this day is over with yea i can relate

[Beachy]

Thank you Sanuk! I will try!

[Butterflymoonwoman]

1st 24 hours
Today is a good day! At work, day 3 of 5. Made a post about how I initally said no last night to using (but then caved after an hour of fighting the urge). Proud of myself to say the least that the word NO even came out of my mouth. Baby steps lmao Now to work on the follow through and make a list of things I can do to distract myself after I’ve said no. My brain is like a mouse running on a wheel Anyway, I’ve been doing better taking care of myself (eating healthier, some exercise… not as much as I’d like but our apartment gym is closed due to covid, doing more self care, working harder at my relationships etc.) My 36th birthday is coming up this week and a goal of mine is to be clean and sober for my birthday and to continue my recovery. Hope everyone is well. Hugs to all!

[Mno]

Hope you made it through. My idea would be to buy enough wine for my guests, but pour it down the sink as soon as they left. Myself I gave my close friends the remainder of the booze after dinner to take home, but those are my real close friends. BTW, conversations are much better sober IMO and in my experience. When under the influence we only think we are so smart and witty and everything…

[Olivia]

D60
A new record

Thank you @Matt, @Mno, @WCan and You (if I forgot to mention someone’s name:)) for giving me such valuable insight into therapy and pmo. I’m taking notes Seriously, thank you!

[Lisa07]

I’m so proud of you Olivia! Congratulations on 60 days! What an awesome accomplishment.

[RosaCanDo]

Hooray! Well done. Hope you’re as proud of yourself as we are of you. Glad you’re a part of this community.

[anon28001181]

Well done.

[Truckinmonster21]

Congratulations on 60 days Olivia !
Keep fighting the good fight your doing a great Job !

[anon28001181]

My funk continues. A lot of self doubt, lately.

I’ve got some imposter syndrome going on. Like am I really this person that can be a functioning, sober adult? I’ve had a lot of periods of sobriety followed by horrendous binges, so I feel like I’ve yet to break the cycle completely, because I haven’t pushed past the 6 month time frame. That’s the longest I’ve stayed sober (a couple times) before a relapse. It’s like I need to get over that hurdle to prove it to myself. I’m catching myself telling myself that I’m destined to be an unreliable drunk and that the best I can do is hold myself together for a few months at a time.

I’m trying to employ what I’ve learned to challenge these thoughts, but it’s been a real push/pull lately. This is the most shook I’ve been since I sobered up this time. I won’t drink today. I know this feeling won’t last and I know it’s not true.

[Squirt]

Can you be? You are! I’m not much further ahead of you but know that your journey has been inspiring. I’ve learned it’s okay to not feel okay, push past this. I have faith you will break your personal cycle, coming out stronger and sober on the other side.

[Sanuk]

Thanks Menno! I told them right away that I didn’t drink. Got questions for how long and is it forever? And why? I told them the truth. I said I drank enough in my life and that I feel better now I’m sober. That was it. Didn’t have to spent more words to explain myself. I put it pretty lightly actually. (In my head it was heavy, but they didn’t notice). My friend responded that he also thinks about quitting and that he drinks a bottle a day or more. Just like I did. His girlfriend already stopped. So big relief!

And fortunately he finished the whole bottle @Beachy! So no wine in my sink. I’m totally happy about this evening!!!

[anon79808082]

Don’t let doubt get in your head; you’re a great man and a big presence here as I’m sure you are IRL!
We’re all just trying to be better than we were before and you’re doing it, my friend.

[Desire2ChangeToday]

So, I don’t want to impose but I wanted to suggest a piece of literature that just pulled me out of a serious 2-3 month long depressive funk. I read it pretty fast and life was just put into perspective in such a way that has really given me the confidence to be in control of my life by being more aware of my thoughts. Thoughts create. I was made to realize how all of the self talk that went on in my head has been self defeating and negative and as a result I was creating the reality of the thoughts I perpetuated. I’m proactively more aware and replacing that negative self talk with affirming my desired outcome in life. I’m taking my personal power back. I AM. It’s a powerful mind shifting read. I got it on kindle. I hope you can pull yourself out of that funk.

[Thirdmonkey]

Congrats!!