I would have to agree with you I’m better off myself I have never liked pop people to close to me anyway
1 Like
Thanks for the review I’m going to check it out
1 Like
A bit deflated. I live with my three children - the eldest is 25 who yesterday was opening the wine and kept asking me if I wanted a drink. I declined all day but drink baileys later on -convincing myself it was ok as it wasn’t wine (that WAS my drink. Just felt the pressure and not strong enough yesterday. I want to throw the alcohol out but lots of it she has bought to share. I dont want my 25 year old to know about my drink struggle … she has enough struggles of her own at the moment and I am not going to burden her. She drinks in moderation and quite often just has one glass or none for days/weeks. Any advice… I know I need to be stronger and just say no but the voice sits on my shoulder which I give in to … so frustrating as I am such a strong person.
On another note I hope everyone has a happy and positive day x
10 Likes
Hey I really hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend and not let this put you to far back. I find myself just saying no thank you and a nice smile and moving on. You have to remember the choice is yours and that’s FINAL have a great weekend stay strong.
2 Likes
Good that you came here to ask for advice!
In my experience, as long as secrets are kept secret, they keep growing and waiting till your guards are down. That’s when they become irresistible. Bringing stuff into light is a massive relief. I would urge to be honest with your daughter and other kids. The oldest is seemingly an adult. You need to create boundaries to protect yourself and your sobriety. Maybe that means no alcohol in your house? Idk. That’s for you to decide. You can do this! It’s the best thing you can give to yourself and your children. All the best.
8 Likes
Hi there. Thank you for your advice. You are right… I am going to listen to your advice and try to talk to her with simple facts. Better to be out in the open and realise I am hiding it from myself if I am hiding it from her…trying to do it all and not telling anyone around me is probably not an option… I am going think about it in completely different way… being proud of my decision instead of hiding it. 
6 Likes
Yes thank you… never asked this question and not told anyone before … only on here… a new concept for me. I truly cherish these replies and need to learn a new way to be. Thank you so much x
2 Likes
Absolutely …from today I am going to be more honest with others about it … I think it will help. So glad I have found this safe space. Thank you x
6 Likes
Fuck my life!!!
Went out to get a bit of food… Forgot my fucking keys so locked myself out my flat…
I give up on 2020, you have been a shitty year for me, a break up, suicide attempts, accepting I was powerless to the drugs I took, hospital appointments, getting shitty news and awaiting a brain op… Ear operation, smashed my fucking knee niiicceee 6 stitches and endless times I’ve forgot my keys to my flat just fuck it…
This is were I would cave and drink or pickup a drug to wash these shitty feelings away… Instead I’m jotting it down here because I’m not fucking breaking as I’m so close to 6 months!!!
I say it loud and clear you my dear 2020 have been a mother fucker!!!
26 Likes
ah danni. what a shitstorm for you… 2020 sucks. But it is also the year that you keep arising from the ashes like a sphinx. 
1 Like
If you can live your life by that realization from now on 2020 will have been a good year for you Danni. Despite all the shit that happened too. Hope you have someone who holds spare keys. I do, as this has happened lots of times to me.
6 Likes
I’m with Laura and Olivia in thinking honesty is the best road to go. Glad you’re here Claire. We do this together.
3 Likes
427 days… This was my second sober Christmas in a row. I was triggered as fuck leading up to it but had zero desire to drink on Christmas. I let my ego take control and was future tripping. I was able to do really good things this Christmas because i was sober.
Our second oldest wasn’t going to be able to come home because of a storm. I drove 5 hours and got her home on Christmas eve. Christmas night i drove her back. I took my wife and our youngest two for brief visits with her mom and sister (they live by our second oldest daughter). We got home at 10 pm last night but we had Christmas with our whole family. I would’ve never been able to do that before.
Hang in there everyone, this shit show of a year is almost over.
25 Likes
@Dan531 That was one hell of a Christmas present for your family, making sure everyone could be together. Like you said, just goes to show what we can do when we’re sober.
@Rockstar24777 I’m glad you’re back home and resting! Hope you have a speedy recovery man 
@anon27760155 Keep your head up! Through all of this you’re still sober and that is badass
4 Likes
Thanks Menno. Neither my mother, nor Christmas was the reason I picked up. She is the reason I put it DOWN.
I will write about that moment of clarity more in a separate thread, sometime. I hope I can always go back and remember exactly how it felt when she gifted me that box of booze. They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die? My whole life, of jacked up enabling bullshit, came to me in that moment.
This church-going, do-gooder lady used to cut up coke for me and go and pick up drugs for me. I need to really focus on dropping the anger and putting the feelings in their rightful place. People don’t act like that out of selfishness, not at the root. She’s got some shit, too. It’s a process addiction thing for her. I need to let her carry her own baggage and push her out of my lane.
Glad to be here.
14 Likes
Sorry for misreading Jené. And yes on your mother and how to deal with that. Mine was a good human being, but a pretty lousy mother. Took me a long time to come to terms with that.
5 Likes
Oh no!! That sounds painful. I hope you can recover quickly.
I am happy to see this. I think you honor your daughter by trusting her with the truth. She cannot be empowered to help and support if she isn’t aware that help is needed.
And yes, you should be PROUD of your decision to stop drinking. There “benefit” of alcohol is a social construct that gets a good amount of people onto forums such as this one.
I am glad you’re here!
3 Likes