Thank you. It is like 2 people in my head. I shut the good one up completely and listen to the let’s have a drink voice. It’s like I pick and choose who to listen to depending on what the plan is. But now more than ever I feel wholeheartedly into getting sober. I am future tripping and the other side looks great. I’m still early and have had 42-49-21 days under my belt before. It’s easy now because the hangover is still fresh in my mind. But I am going to pay very close attention to what where and when my cravings hit so I can determine why. Thanks for your words. I think if I stay more involved here I’ll learn the tidbits to move forward. I have been more of a spectator in the past.
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I wrote yesterday or the day before about that half part of myself too. Maybe it can resonates with you too.
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I’m here. I went off the wagon on Halloween. I don’t really know why, I just did. I guess sometimes there isn’t a why. But I’ve proven to myself yet again that I can’t be a drinker. I don’t want to be a drinker. I don’t want to lose everything. This worked well for me before. I’m embarrassed to be starting over but at least I’m here.
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Thanks, I appreciate it! I don’t have any experience with that stuff (my wife hasn’t has her wisdom teeth removed either) so thanks for the advice.
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Welcome back 
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No problem. IMO, it’s good to have all of them removed if possible. They’re usually nothing but trouble. I had the very last one taken out a few months ago and I’m really happy it’s done and over. Good luck, I hope your pain eases soon enough.
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Thank you.
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Thank you!! I really appreciate that 
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Thanks yes it does compliment what I’m feeling. Started to come to terms that I need to sever the bind between the 2 fighting selves. I will grieve what I need to grieve. I will miss the good things. But I know I am all those good things just have to figure out how to be again.
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Welcome back! Well done on being honest and getting back to it. My slip ups all contributed to a stronger resolve to be sober and move forward. You can do this!
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I swear I was just thinking of you the other day wondering how the hell you were doing. I think I was looking at an old post or something and saw your name. Welcome back Kayla.
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Day 308~ I’m feeling wicked aggravated and kinda depressed. My in laws are back from Florida and I just hate living in the same space. We need to find another house. This is not working out anymore. Before I would just drink myself silly until I would pass out and not have to think or deal with them. Being sober I can’t ignore all the feelings I have about this living situation. It’s driving me crazy. Now that our shop is up and running and the rental properties are all rented and being profitable it’s time to get a home for ourselves. My mother in law always has to play the victim… it’s always poor her all the time. She’s such a phony it makes me sick. She can’t own up to anything. Every other thing that comes outta he mouth is some kinda of lie or twisted truth. She feels the need to spread our personal business to everyone. I’m so fucking done. Im sick of people mistaken my kindness for weakness. I’m done being taken advantage of. My sobriety has given me my voice back and I’m not afraid to use it. I can no longer keep my feelings and thoughts bottled up or just push them aside. I matter and I need to be heard. I’m always worried about hurting someone but it’s time to care about me being the one that’s hurt. I’ve been burned so many times in different relationships mostly because I allowed myself to become second; and have forgiven over and over again. I’m not doing that anymore. I’ve got to come first for my own mental well-being.
Much love all keep fighting and stand up for yourself. YOU matter.
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Congrats on rocking the triple Ds @RosaCanDo!
Congrats on 1000 @Thirdmonkey! Man that’s a lot of 24s
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Looks beautiful though!
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Thank you! Appreciate you noticing. For me, it’s an unique milestone. 1000 days seems like forever, yet I remember that day like it was yesterday.
I guess only an alcoholic or an addict keeps track of their life like this.
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@anon79808082 congrats on near enough 200 
I’m so sorry this time of year is hard for you, a hug for you and prayers for your son
@apes2020 I’m so happy for the Myna family 
@Tomek I get this rage too, recently I punched my hoover a few times because it wasn’t working properly, and like you, it comes suddenly and is gone in a few seconds, and the majority of the time I’m a super calm person, sorry this isn’t very helpful, I just wanted to say I can relate.
@cwak Definitely with you on that, I have Binge Eating Disorder, it’s been so hard to stop but I’ve managed to cut out take aways for 9 days (after having one every night for 3 years) and I’m now 5 days without bingeing on crisps, but I’m doing a meal replacement diet now so I don’t have to go grocery shopping, which is proving helpful, plus I’m in the process of trying to lose 8st so it’s necessary, may not be appropriate for you however.
@Drave that’s huge! Be proud of yourself! Well done
@Squirt sending strength, it sounds like things aren’t too good for you right now and congrats on 6 months
@IcanIwill welcome back 
@Thirdmonkey congrats on 1000!!! 
97 days.
Today I am grateful, so very grateful to be sober. I have been able to buy all of my family an Xmas gift each, and my best friend and his little family, nothing too extravagant, I only spent £75 altogether, which is all I had spare, but it’s more than I can say for last year, when I was shamefully empty handed. I feel I have came so far from that point, that was a real low, I felt so far removed from the real me back then. I also got my haircut, had to tidy it up with my barbering scissors once I got home but I don’t mind.
Then it was support group Zoom time. I debated going but thought if I didn’t go today I’d never go again so I pushed myself, the first 30mins was horrendous, the guy who caused the issues in our WhatsApp group chat was just arguing and arguing and trying to aggravate people again, it was so uncomfortable, he’s seems so conflict driven and it’s ruining it for everyone else, I nearly left a few times but stayed for the rest of the group.
I’ve dealt with some debt phone calls today too, I can’t seem to get help from the council with housing so I’m a little stressed about that, but trying to stay proactive and do what I can about things. Everything is quiet in regards to my sale, but I have to be patient and trust the process.
I’ve started a new book called Getting Past Your Past. I’m only on the first chapter so far but I feel it has the potential to be very helpful.
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Don’t be embarrassed be proud that you’ve got the strength to give it another go. There is always a reason why we drink BTW its bc we are alcoholics and the sooner we know our problem we can work on a solution. Wish you well on your journey.
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