Milestones everywhere!
@cwak your first 30 days – way to go! I know the clouds have moved in again, but keep showing up here, you’re doing so great.
@CATMANCAM I missed your 100 days – triple digits for you! Amazing.
@Clarity 150 days yay! Smilin’ over here for you, girlfriend.
@Dolse71 3 months! and you got @Joy doing a happy dance and @anon79808082 all dolled up! Omg… not to bring on milestone angst, but what happens at triple digits? 
@Joy happy road race! You are an inspiration. 
Way to go 
I don’t know if it’s sobriety or the pandemic cuz we’re home all the time but my cats and dogs, especially the cats, seem to be more friendly and always with me. More so than usual. I’m going with the calmness sobriety brings me. I think they know 
Perfect. Real proud of ya
Thank you @M-be-free49 and yes… “firsts” are getting easier for me now but some first can definitely throw me sideways. I stay open minded to these new challenges and try see them as lessons to learn from.
Day 703 today and subtle changes from yesterday.
Heads still above water and voices of giving up are there… but not as load as yesterday.
Thanks everyone for jeering me well distracted and your words of encouragement. Just for today I’m clean and sober and thats what matters most.
Yes, there is only right now! And by coincidence, I just saw your pic on the sober selfies - you got those 2 sons you mentioned, who I’m willing to bet are super glad you don’t give up. 
Sending you strength and some sunshine to blow away those clouds… 
Take care dear Menno! I hope you feel better soon.
I very much doubt Im going to be able to write about it
morning all, so Xmas has been cancelled that’s great news to people like us, no excuse to celebrate with drink and drugs. Three cheers for covid 
always know I’m in for a good day when I manage to catch your check in. Wonderful as ever Have yourself a great day 
Checking in on day 28. I feel a little groggy this morning. Not much to say but I’m still sober and almost to 30 days! I couldn’t have done it without you wonderful sober folks. Have a great day everyone. 
Thanks love, you too.
Blessings and sobriety!
Checking in December 22
Gooooodmorning TS or good afternoon !
Hope you guys have an amazing tuesday always remember no ones perfect we all been there done it or its happened keep marching forward .
Not a feeling whatsoever to use today happy that i get a new day to be me best theres no one else im challenging but the person staring back at me in the mirror LETS GOOOO !!!
I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 114.
Once again I haven’t checked in here for a while, like 24 days.
Our tweenie (my husbands 12 y/o fot those who remember) has nearly had me to the breaking point, where I lost every will to even try to get out of bed in the morning. I used to love Christmas and go all in, this year I barley put up the decorations. Every time she gets out of bed or even enters a room she drags everyone down. It’s gotten to the point that after more than 20 years side by side going through everything I told my husband that of things doesn’t get better they gotta move out. I can’t sleep because she’s sneaking around at night going into the boys room, stealing things, lies, manipulates, getting into fights, and no matter how much we purge her closet for inappropriate clothes (Items that shows more skin that would make and adult throwed out from a club for showing to much) she finds a way to cut her existing clothes, even if we hide all sharp objects. Or gets inappropriate clothing in an other way.
I’m afraid that she’ll eventually hurt anyone because she’s got no compassion or care for others at all. We even need to portion her food during dinner otherwise she would take it all by herself. And there’s no table manners whatsoever, she makes more noise than a cartoon character eating. I’m getting sick even being in the same room, no matter what we say she doesn’t even try to change or do better. She just says we can go to hell because that’s the way she is.
My husband is spoiling her and mostly let her be. Yesterday when they had a meeting with the family council about the custody she demanded to talk to them by herself and started saying that we don’t treat her well and is unfair because she can’t be on social media or use her computer or phone. Which she hadn’t access to when she moved in because she can’t handle it. We decided to give her a chance but once again she proved that she can’t handle it so she lost that privilege pretty quick. The lady in the family council said to the tweenie that if it was really bad here she could contact the social lical services for her. And later while she was talking to my husband again she said that it isn’t unusual that they can’t handle social media in that age, and that she won’t call social services about it because we’re doing the right thing. Another day last week tweenie claimed that she hurt herhand days ago, used make up to make it look blue and went to the school nurse saying she got hurt. When she got home and my husband was at work she said her hand really hurt but managed to steal back her computer with the “hurt” hand and when I asked about it she complained to my husband about me being mean and won’t believe that she was hurt. Next day the bandage was gone throwed at the floor upstairs and the hand was normally functioning again.
Yesterday I totally lost it after the family council meeting, her teacher calling amd said she’d been into a fight with a boy in school and the boys father was about to call us. Asking her about the ahe responed with breaking the desk in her room which was given to my now 18 y/o from my grandmother when she passed away last year.
I locked myself into my room and cried for hours, had a heart to heart talk with my husband and Tweenies mother. We never liked each other because the mother is very much like her kid in an adult version, but for once we seems to be on the same side. The mother confessed that this behavior is one of the reasons tweenie can’t live with her, and one of the reasons that two foster care families (the last one right before she came to us) have eventually given up on caring for her. Because she makes herself impossible in all ways possible. In the last foster care home they where afraid that she would hurt their newborn baby, and the father of that family eventually told his wife that she had to make a choice, between caring for tweenie or her newborn kid and husband. You guys know the rest from here.
After talking to her mother and my husband I did something I never thought I would do, I turned back to my old church for parental advice. They recommended clear rules and to point out selfish acts like taking all the food with questions like If I ate all the food without asking if you wanted some more, how would that make you feel"?
And that we have to make Clear that actions have consequences. I would never hit or hurt a child and in difference from when I was a kid they didn’t recommend that either. Thank God. Instead they recommend looking at things differently. In their way if looking at things everything is a privilege, as a parent you are required to make sure your kid are being cared for properly, food, clothes, love, health, and all essential needs like a bed, own room if that’s possible and so on. Everything else like special brand clothes, jewelries, a fancy bag, going out with friends, pocket money, social media, acess to tv and Netflix is a privilege. Behaving like a jerk will make you loose privileges like that.
I have no idea if that’s the right way to go, but I’m willing to give everything a try now before I totally break.
On top of that a close friend of our family passed away in Covid-19 this Wednesday and his wife is currently very sick and at the hospital getting help to breathe. We’ve got new stricter restrictions and my husband who usually isn’t afraid of the devil himself is terrified and prefers to not even leave the house.
I’m sorry for being absent and than just log on to pour everything out like this. Unfortunately I have no other place to Adress it.
I’m feeling a little better today, trying to get into Christmas spirit, putting up some extra decorations, playing Christmas music, wearing Christmas clothes, and praying (Yes I know, I’ve never been much of a prayer since I left church but if it helps I’m willing to try) that things will be better. Because I don’t want to give up about tweenie.
I hope each one of you gets the most amazing Christmas and new years ever.
Big hugs from Sweden, keep on fighting everyone I lf I can stay sober, so can you.
37 days clean and sober today also new to here. Looking forward to getting to know everyone. I want to achieve pushing myself out of my comfort zone by reaching out and posting, also maintain my sobriety and learn to strengthen my personality boundaries. Happy Holidays everyone!
Yesss ! LETS GO MIKE !!
Thats good news happy for you man
This sounds like a nightmare. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. 
God bless you, Sophia. I couldn’t deal with her disrupting the household every waking minute. Your boys deserve a peaceful home too.
I know she’s hurting but geesh…
I’m glad you’re still on track. 
