The countdown begins! So excited for you, friend. 
1 Like
Call me a weakling, but I canāt stay up late 2 nights in a row! I also canāt check out without giving a shout out to @Dazercat.
Eric, Iād be willing to bet, if we took a poll around here, that every time one of your posts turned around someoneās day, or gave them the support to stay sober one more day, or put a smile on their face (memes!) ā weād have at least 365. So congrats on your (almost!) year, and thanks for your year, for ānot drinking today and probably not drinking tomorrowā, for the example of you. Grateful! 
13 Likes
I heartily second this emotion. @Dazercat made me feel welcome and is a great model for connecting with and supporting others. All through the holidays I was thinking about his big anniversary. Iām super excited for him!
8 Likes
Iāve definetly switched addictions 
my online shopping habit is quite questionable it makes me happy and happy is good lol so Iām going with that reasonable excuse , or perhaps excuseable reason
6 Likes
End of the day. 41 behind me. Heard from my friend/co-worker who was hospitalized for severe depression yesterday. Things seem to be as ok as they can be. Surprised they chose to call me today, but glad they didnāt cut me off as a result of stepping into the situation to help.
As for me, Iām struggling with anxiety and dreams. Almost every night I have dreams that make me think about things that have done nothing but trigger me to drink over the last three years. How I wish I could forget. Hoping that maybe someday this stuff will ease up. Iām glad Iām sober, but damn ā¦ not having a way to numb the emotions, feelings, and memories is so hard.
20 Likes
Very glad you moved past moderation and thanks so much emm ā¦
Iām pretty darn excited to see what I can accomplish this year, if I can stay motivated, and with some clean time and support behind me I might be able to do those adult things againā¦ like get my license back and a car and my own place. Finally finish school. Been procrastinating a little because of covid and because Iām trying to follow the suggestions of some of my counsellors and sponsor and friends. I was unfortunate to develop a low bottom, very low 
by the end i had a broken back, no teeth and was just about a skeleton, no home, friends, family, money ā¦so It was very strongly suggested to make year one of my recovery about forming a solid foundation and focussing as much as I can only on my recovery and Iām pretty close to that. Pretty proud of myself. Thanks again for the prayers last night too means alot.
I had back and dental surgery this past year. Last check put on too much weight almost 100lbs. Got my family back and have some new friends. Have only a little but still some money in the bank. It took alot of effort but I no longer consider myself not worth it. I have things to lose now. To everyone and anyone looking to do same I believe in you. If i can come back from that I pray very hard that anybody who wants to be clean and sober and happy can join me in the light. If any of you need to talk message me and I will get back to you. I had and have people that do it for me and it is my honour privledge to offer it for you all. 
&
Somehow this reply to emm became a storyā¦oops
16 Likes
When I first got clean I was shopping like 3-4 times a week and its was brought to my attention that I was getting that dopamine from shopping that my brain was craving from being so over flooded in my addictionā¦so I thought about it and maybe my my consular had a point so I went to once a month 
lol
7 Likes
What if you get a journal and write about some of the things that are bothering you? My therapist suggested it for me, and it has been pretty helpful in getting those thoughts out, and I can look at it and write how to be more gentle with myself at the end of my entry.
3 Likes
Day 323~ Checking in. Happy New Year 
I had the day off today and sat by the beach this morning and thought about these past 323 days. So much is different so much really has changed. Everyone was so happy to see 2020 go but I gotta admit 2020 was not all bad. I truly feel I got my life back and started living again. I had a lot going on in 2020 personally and otherwise. I had major heart aches with loosing our two sweet boy pups 
Covid, severed relationships but I made it through sober. Iāve learned so much in 2020 about myself. Itās amazing learning and discovering yourself. Iām learning I matter. My feelings, my dreams, my lifeā¦ all matter. This year I want to start another chapter of my journey and get back to healthy eating and exercise. I feel itās the missing piece on my path of the best version of me. Iām going to use the tools I learned in sobriety and apply them. I know I have to take it one day at a time and every journey starts with day 1. No matter if you are just starting and are day 1 and or have many years you have to just work and worry about today. Handle today to the best of your abilities and know in your mind, heart, and soul that there is hope and it is possible.
Much love. Choose to liveā¦ life is so much better that way. 
29 Likes
Thatās beautiful Ryan. Happy New Year.
@littlemisschatterbox, @Clarity, @Squirt, @TSan: thank you all for your encouragement honestly. I guess I will just vegetate for now, let time go by and see what comes. I gave up fighting, because thereās just no point in it for me.
5 Likes
Yep you nailed it, spot on. Thats exactly whatās happening with me. Someone else mentioned it to me as well. In the back of my mind I know I need to chill on it and not spend, but it keeps happening. Also since I havenāt worked in 6 months since covid hit, apart from working out/training , eating, reading books, netflixing, I get bored after a while and end up shoppingā¦ I just need a job I think and that will consume enough of my time so much that Iāll tend not to shopā¦thatās the plan anyway 
2 Likes
Huge congrats Kaeo!!! It was great seeing you back here on the forum after being one of my inspirations early in my recovery. Two years is awesome friend. Have a good night.
2 Likes
Huge congrats Hotic! Thank you friend. Excellent work.
1 Like
Where are my chickens ryan
Thank youā¦its good to be back and seeing everyone still here and fighting the good fight and seeing new faces doing the same.
4 Likes
Thanks Courtney!
1 Like
- Damn so much to catch up with while having my morning coffee. Makes me really glad to see so many people here, working on themselves and their lives, to make life better for themselves and for all. Weāre in this together all. Got to run now as I got a work day waiting. Sober and clean. Have good day friends. Love from Amsterdam. Pic is my favourite spot on my commute yesterday afternoon.
37 Likes
What a crazy roller coaster this has been. Day 6 in the books. Iām feeling so so much better. The worst of the detox/withdrawls is over. Unreal how intense it is. Night shakes and Insomnia. Mind melted. I really really want to be done this time. I went to the doctor a couple of days ago and I am on a plan and sticking to it. I no longer have to hide anything from my family and friends. They all have my back. This time, Iām doing it for myself. I can really feel it. Thanks everyone.
27 Likes