Day 789. Still sober. Definitely on the verge of giving up. Don’t want to fight anymore.
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It is slowly sneaking up on me. A deep depression, not knowing why to live anymore. Well known feeling of not being loved. Everything ist weighing too much on me. Cannot really talk about it as I know the common answers too well.
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Well done mate getting back to 10 days 
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Congratulations, Eric. You are such an amazing asset to this community and I really appreciate you. 
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Heck yeah congrats on your one year sir
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Thank you for all the love
@Dan531
@Rockstar24777
@M-be-free49
@I.cant.We.can
@Figgie
I’m basically in tears here knowing people with so much love waiting for a guy to announce he’s 1 year sober. I’m so touched with y’all’s great big hearts.
Where’s the tissues 
Could not have done it without y’all.
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Day 334 , up and did a 3 mile jog. Did some back and shoulder work. I’m wondering if these pills are helping me or not, I was cranky as heck yesterday. But me and the girls are going sliding in a lil bit. Tomorrow will be 11 months hurrah
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Awesome Eric!! So, so proud of you!! 
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I’m late to the party but I agree with whatever everyone has wrote, it’s probably all true. 
(sits here hoping it was all nice)
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Constantly.
I’ve been searching high and low for your achievement bc people have been talking about it since yesterday, finally found it and it was worth the wait, well actually a year in the making but you get the point. Real happy for you mate, enjoy 
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Boom, there it is!! Congratulations on 1 year Eric!! You have been a huge asset to this community and I thank you for all your love and support. Keep being amazing.
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Congrats Eric! That’s sooo cool! 
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I’m really sorry you feel this way. If I have this feeling (like now) I try not to think of any meaning of existence, any big words or any thoughts looking for sense, explanation, solution, etc. I switch to autopilot, I vegetate. Don’t do anything just live one more day. Exist. Without questioning if it makes sense or not. I treat suicidal thoughts like cravings: not today. Don’t think about the future, don’t look too far, just make sure, that you will live today. Give time a chance.
And reach out for professional help or hotline anytime you need it.
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Congrats, my friend! Super proud of you
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Yeah, that’s about how I feel, quite exactly. I crave not existing anymore. Still searching for a ‘why’. Giving some meaning to my life. I have a slight idea but am too frightened. I am not afraid of being dead but of dying. That’s what’s keeping me alive for today. No-one would miss me.
@littlemisschatterbox @Sober_Ninja @anon60334405 @anon79808082 @Dolse71
@anon74766472 @Tommo @Salty @liv_m
This could not have been possible without all you guys helping me.
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How do you usually overcome your depression? Do you have manic episodes as well?
Don’t think about the meaning of life, it’s not a task for today. Postpone thinking of suicide into the fuzzy future. You don’t have to delete it from your mind, because it’s probably impossible right now, but you don’t have to deal with it today. Free your mind from all these heavy thoughts and just live in the moment, think of yourself as an animal. You have to breathe, eat, drink and sleep. It’s enough for now. Don’t think of anything abstract. Just focus on senses. On taste, on smell, on touch. Your task for today is to exist, nothing else matters. Every day is a win.
And please contact your therapist or call a hotline, they are there to help you.
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