You room mate died??
Iām so sorry for your loss 
I know if must be difficult to deal with the reality of losing someone to this disease. Hope youāre ok!
Close to end of Day 50. Mind games today. Still not sleeping well, so could be part of it. Take care, all.
14 Likes
No he didnāt die, he relapsed hard, heās suicidal though.
Wish he took my advice on staying away from rehab romance too. Because that messed him up hard,
But we got him to detox Iām just afraid heās not gonna stay
5 Likes
@Dazercat Congratulations on one year! 
Thatās Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!! 
Thatās a huge accomplishment!
2 Likes
Man I can relate to that. Thatās happened with a few people who I got sober with and it happened again today with someone I got sober with. Weāre still sober and can help others so just keep moving forward
2 Likes
Yikes! She sounds like a real challenge. I wish I had a solution or even a suggestion. Never been a step-parent. My gut says Dad really needs to step up. From what you said, not knowing the history, he isnt. But, you didnāt drink. Donāt let the miserable tweenie take that from you. It sounds like she needs professional counseling. Her horrid behavior and attitude is coming from somewhere. Stay strong!!
4 Likes
You can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink, unfortunately.
2 Likes
Thanks again people. I am so filled with tons of grateful emotions for all of yāallās support. We are so much stronger together.
@anon51903143 @Peace @Drave @Misokatsu
Thanks for my lobstah!! Sistah. Courtney. So happy to see on here every day showing us how itās done. @Dragonflygirl82
And I guess it doesnāt matter how many years you have. Speak from your heart and you never know who you may impact @SinceIAwoke
Just donāt know how any of my words could help a long timer like you. But I know it can. Thank you sir for being here and continuing to show your support to all of us after all your years.
7 Likes
Yeah I get that, he was doing so well. He used to get on my ass to go to meetings with him. Working a good job plus he has a side hustle getting people into treatment and such.
What makes it worse is, I donāt attach emotionally to people places or things, and I did we were like brothers if I was there he was there. So it has me tripping, plus its almost like I failed him as well. If I was tgere he wouldnāt pick up
3 Likes
All you can do is be a good friend to him. Your own sobriety is priority.
2 Likes
Day 36 check in. Had a craving tonight. Not super intense, but it was there. It was triggered by it just being Saturday night and wanting to wind down with a glass of wine. I think it is also because Iāve gone past the one month mark and thereās part of me that starts to think I could just have a drink or two and be fine. It seems to happen at this point after Iāve stopped drinking, and itās probably why Iāve never made it past around 45 days. And I usually do start off again being very moderateā¦but of course it never lasts all that long. Tonight I made a very satisfying, strong tasting mocktail to help me get through the desire and it definitely helped it to pass pretty quickly. Iām going to try to and more aware as my cravings have a tendency to get sneaky at this point.
25 Likes
Day 187.
Tired. As though Iāve partied like it was 1999. (I can assure you I did not! Probably just a bad case of the return-to-work denial flu.)
Funny thing about 2021 though, all the stuff I tried to drink away in 2019 and earlier ā be they circumstances of life or my own stuff (more likely) or both ā theyāre all still here, waiting for me to work through them, now that I donāt have a glass in my hand. Doing this sober asks that I be a little softer with myself, something Iām not so good at.
Tonight though, I tuck in early with the crossword puzzle. Will wake up tomorrow without having to add shame, remorse, and a headache to the mix. After several unsuccessful attempts on my own, that beast has been tamed now for 187 days with all of your help. Super grateful to all of you for this place.
If I have another restless sleep, I will start a middle-of-the-night thread asking for help with the crossword clues!
Gānight ā big love to all. 
24 Likes
Lots more to celebrate! Every night is like another episode of milestone madness!
@Squirt 200 days. Yer killing it!
@Ledmeyer53 those were some tough days! Youāre doing great.
@Beachy congrats on 40!
@MagicILY stay strong. you can do it. I know that sneaky voice! but this place is louder, so keep checking back and itāll get the hint. 
@Charlie_C and @Mbwoman 50 soon! Yesss!
All of us - every day is a win.
11 Likes
Day 351
I had a good day. My friend Andy came home today, I really hope he stays this time. My friend on here celebrating his year, congrats again Eric. Had a nice phone call with Mom. Had my date cancel which sucks but manageable. A client that spent some time at wayside when I was still an inpatient passed away today due to his addiction. Its a sad reality to have to cope with. I cried and Iām sure iāll cry about it again. Iām tearing up a little as I type this. I made five delicious pizzas today. We had a terrific NA meeting. It wasnāt until after supper and the meeting that we were told about Alex passing. Decided after discussing with friends and some staff that I have to talk with the bosses when they are in on Monday regarding my near physical altercation. I mentioned thereās been an ongoing bullying thing and guys are hoping me saying something will help. I hope so but iām unsure since itās not a new thing. So one day at a time was in my head today and one moment and one second. It was a good day I choose to look at the bright side. Alex lived, Shannon is my friend, Andy is home, Eric has been sober a year, Iām clean and sober today.
If you didnāt know already youāre the coolest. Ya you.
God bless you all. 
&
23 Likes
man I can taste that one year, I already put in the slip for time off on that day and planning on my tattoo. Iām excited, nervous and just trying my best I guess. Iām definitely not even close to where I thought Iād be, but Iām further then where I was and thats all that matters. It was a good day with my girls, I do find myself still pretty irritable, kind of grouchy I love my beautiful girls and Iāll keep trying and just stay accountable when I need to. Heading to bed, good night everyone
35 Likes
Congratulations on 11 months @anon60334405!
Exciting ā¦Your big milestone is just around the corner.
6 Likes
Yeah I understand that, alot of my friends in our group been checking with me, they know how close we are, all of them said the same thing. That it keeps it real, they kinda knew it hit me hard, and couldnāt believe it actually bothered me as much as it did. I think for me it was the tell me it aināt true moment. I saw his face his eyes I knew. I just didnāt ever want it to be real,
Itās just sad, he was doing so well, We talked a bit right before Christmas, and I told him not to try and be a knight in shining armour when it came to his female friend, they confessed mutual feelings but the situation was parallel to a painful experience he had in the past, I mean nearly identical faces change same situation, I think he was hoping a different outcome basically healing an old wound and getting the outcome he wanted.
I love him like a little brother I even told him that when we shipped him to detox, it made it worse when he realized he broke me,
4 Likes
Congratulations on the 11 months Mike. I know youāve been working so freaking hard, all the time. FWIW the 1 year milestone malady was pretty non existent for me. I remember 6 months and 9 months being a bitch for some reason. But still ODAAT buddy.
You got some great girls there my friend. I always love to see the āmonkeysā smiling silly faces. They brighten up this joint.
Thanks for that.
8 Likes