Congrats on your 31 days, and I too think that being sober you’ll figure it out. Stay strong. You got so much to be grateful for now that your sober.
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Checking in December 28
Feeling deppressed tonight thinking alot of my uncle going to say a prayer tonight for him before
Bed 
i didnt attend his funeral but they made sure i got pictures and seeing him in that casket just crushed me life goes on 
make everyday count like its your last day on earth do everything you want you only get one life thats it then your gone . Goodnight everyone 
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I reached 30 days! I’ve been here before, but never with the plan of actual sobriety. It was always just “a test” to see if I could do it. On day 31 i would celebrate by going back to drinking. Not this time. Congratulations to everyone reaching new milestones, and for anyone struggling just keep taking it one day at a time. Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I really don’t think I would be sticking with it without you.
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Yay Drave!! 30 is a big deal!
Thanks for the love today, pals. I had to admit that I need help for my anxiety today. My emotions are all over the place when I thought I had been making progress there. But this situation with my pup is really traumatic and I am having trouble with panicky feelings. I reached out to my therapist and talked to my husband today, and it helped. It feels like a walking on eggshells situation and is so unpredictable. As always, I’m grateful for this place, when I can drop a line and get some virtual hugs. When I can lurk and read about other people and it makes me feel less alone. Thanks, again. 
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My mom was in the hospital about a week, then another facility for two weeks! She felt OK, but being away from her normal environment was tough. She will be 86 in a few weeks, but has all her faculties. She is there because she had a stroke 3 years ago. I hope your grandma is better very soon.
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Thank you so much @Joy. I appreciate all the prayers because we definitely need them. We’ll be making some hard decisions in the next few weeks. I feel like it’s going to get worse before it gets better.
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Thank you for the vote of confidence and support! I’m nervous but excited about possibilities at the same time. Ultimately, I know I will be ok with the financial hit coming up. Not happy about it, but I will be able to pay my bills, buy food, and have a roof over my head — so I am grateful for that security.
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Day 182.
It’s not like I want my life to go whooshing past, but how come it is that at times the sobriety day counter seems to roll over so slowly while the holiday days (right now) go hurtling by at warp speed? 
I know, I know - breathe and stay present, M…
No matter the day count, truly, today is what matters. We did another day, and we can do it again tomorrow. Feels pretty damn good to play for the winning team.
G’night, dear sober pals 
@cwak my emotions were all over the map for the first while. There’s just so much stuff to process, and new ways to find to do it! Still, even. I do know I don’t find your posts negative at all - just real and honest and accountable. You’re doing amazing.
@MagicILY such a fine line between excitement and anxiety, hey? I hope the work transition is exciting and fulfilling, though I get that it could be a little anxiety provoking too. You are doing awesome though, and I’m excited for you! Keep us posted on your new ventures.
@I.cant.We.can yeah, another fine line - between true friendship on the one hand and a supportive relationship on the other. I’m sure you’ll be a solid support to your pal - just by being you and leading by example, but I completely get that the friendship’s changed, which is disappointing. Boundaries. Ugh. I’m still learning 'em!
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546 days - no alcohol! 
Each day sober is another day of realisation that I can do anything I set my mind to…in terms of health, self-love and wellbeing when I think about drinking (which I still do often, regularly questioning my decisions) I know that, today, I will choose not to, for I value my health both physically and mentally and drinking does nothing positive or loving for my mind, body or spirit. In fact, when I drank alcohol, my mind, body and spirit felt poisoned. I felt sick and tired and it hurt, A LOT. Alcohol, simply, harmed me, and now, I do my best each day, one day at a time, to choose what will heal me. Some days are harder than others, but each loving, kind decision propels me forward in my recovery; where I recover my sense of worth and dignity and integrity. The Universe is always working in our favour, we just have to get out of our own way sometimes and let the love and light wash over us 
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Thanks again Eric once again your support and the respect you show to me and others is next level 🖒🖒 @M-be-free49 your strength in dealing with your mom bravo! I greatly appreciate your support as well. Yeah it’s tough with my friend. To keep working on boundaries I find hard in so many ways. It’s one thing to talk about them even harder to actually enforce them. I shared about a date I had yesterday and we talked today about meeting again which she surprised me with. I know this is going to be a real boundry test moving forward. I guess that could be considered “normal”
God bless you all. 
&
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- Up way too early. I’m going to try to sleep some more as I have a late shift coming up later today. Did have a nice dream for a change, it’s fun remembering the different parts of it and recognizing how they all fit in what happened to me and I did in different times of my life. Too bad the memory is already fading now while yesterday’s nasty one will probably stay with me forever.
Anyway, at least I can remember some of my dreams. As well as I remember most of what I do and what befalls me during the time I’m up. Because I’m sober and clean. Much of the forty years I spent under the influence of this and that are a blur to me. Never again. I’m here. I’m now. Together with you all. Have a good day friends. As good as you can. Love from Amsterdam. Pic is from the red light district. So beautiful without the throngs of stoned and drunk tourists.
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Checking in, day 3 
Couple days away from new year.
New year filled with new ways to help me in recovery.
These new things:
- working out through twelve steps program
- having sessions with psychotherapist specialised in addiction treatment
2021 will be an amazing year
Have a great day/calm night everyone 
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My advice is: be careful when cravings appear even if you are sure you won’t drink that day. Around 30-50 days I had stronger and stronger cravings but I could fight them, so I thought, it’s ok, I can still win this game. At the beginning these thoughts were just theoretical, then they became more and more specific, I imagined where and when could I buy a drink, what excuses could I tell to myself, what it would be like to drink it in the evening. After some time I realized, that I’m losing it, although still gained some more days. Of course I relapsed, I let these thoughts too close to me.
Be very careful and stop those thoughts at the very beginning.
About the shame and embarrassment: it’s natural, that your brain is engaged with it - it didn’t have the chance to process those things during drinking and hangovers. Don’t judge yourself, just let these feelings go through you. I know that it’s difficult to find a shrink during lockdown, but it sure would be very useful.
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Thank you❤️ she had a hard time breathing so they moved her to the ER to monitor her and give her oxygen. She was just moved back to the nursing home, but still on oxygen. She hasn’t fully recovered, but definitely is better than where she was.
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Wow, it’s so interesting that you say this. I have absolutely no intention to drink again, but over the last two days I’ve caught myself wondering how I would pull it off, how I could hide it, how I could have just a sip. So stupid of me… must be on guard and shut it down immediately!!
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Day 140
Stayed awake way late last night binge-watching and binge-eating. Felt bloated and tired and grumpy today. In the grand scheme of things, not terrible, but wish I had more self control to watch just a couple of episodes, eat just a couple of biscuits.
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Checking in sober day 8. After night shift. Proud.
Have a nice day beautiful people.
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I hear you! I often wish this too. I guess we both could use a little less wishing and a lot more firm decision making followed by positive/mindful action.
The struggle is real. But not impossible.
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