No it’s meant to be for TSan! He reached 100 days today. 
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Sorry Mikey, I was feeling like I wanted to be incognito, lol.
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Good to hear man, that’s some serious growth right there man. 
and @anon79808082 I’m sad I thought u were gone. Didn’t even let your brother know 
glad your still here tho
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I understand that 
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I wouldn’t leave without lyk!
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I read a lot about people getting the Vaccine here today. It made me wondering
Is it only in Sweden (Yes I know Sweden has been handling all this in a… well let’s say questionable way) where they don’t recommend people with severe allergies to vaccinate? Because people in test groups has had life threatening allergy shock from the vaccine.
Or middle aged people (in their 30s or 40s) to wait until everyone is vaccinated because they vaccine probably doesn’t protect from spreading the virus?
I know it’s probably different vaccines rolling out. We’ve got the Pfizer/biontech one approved. First human they vaccinated died within 24 hours. So now they are debating if the vaccine can cause the heart to stop or not. Kids are and exception they aren’t supposed to get the vaccine at all.
I’m in one of the high risk groups, I don’t go anywhere without a mask nowadays and If I can order groceries home I do.
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Congrats on Day 41! Probably Day 42 now? One day at a time. 
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Yes day 42. Haven’t checked in yet but been reading and staying sober for another day. It’s been a stressful morning but I’m not gonna relapse.
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@SteppingStones congrats on double-digits 
@TSan congrats on triple-digits 
@nwags welcome back 
@Luckyredz congrats on 2 years off the vape
@lilbeanhead welcome and congrats on 2 days
@Harold congrats on 9 months
@Classix congrats on your week
@marcusmaximus2000 great reflections 
@Moonshadow never give up, glad you came right back here 
148 days no alcohol
116 days no cocaine
Hardly slept last night, my tracker is showing 0.7 hrs, my throat was so sore and my BPD brain was catastrophizing and making me feel like I couldn’t breathe, but I managed to calm myself out of the panic attack, and my throat feels fine today, so I’m thinking it’s related to my sudden reappearance of allergies, as my eyes have been streaming and stinging for 4 days now. I don’t know what else it could be. I’d rather not go back on the Promethazine as I used to not make it out of bed til 11am when I was on that, no matter how early I took it. Might just order some Piriton from Amazon and see how I go, if it wasn’t affecting my ability to read I wouldn’t bother taking anything.
The self-esteem book is really helping me feel positive and hopeful about the future. The panic I felt in the night reminded me of darker times towards the end of my addictive addiction, where I’d have a panic attack after every line of cocaine I did (I know, insane, I just couldn’t stop…until I did), and it reminded me how different I feel now about myself, my life as a whole, and the future. It’s really new to me to feel hopeful and excited about life and being in it, especially considering my present circumstances, I really am a whole new person, it’s an actual miracle, words cannot articulate how grateful I am for this TS community, and this thread in particular, it has saved my life! 
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You’ve got this. You’re doing awesome! Tonight will come and you can lay your head on the pillow sober. The muscle gets stronger every day. 
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As the others have already said, thank you so much for this share and your insights.
You’ve obviously thrown everything into your recovery, and recovering who you really are at your core. It’s almost like one’s true essence just shines clearer and brighter as the substances fall to the ground and get swept up…
I also relate to so much of what you’ve put to words. It’s true - I can still be an introvert, be spiritual, be driven with work - but through recovery, be healthy in all of these (instead of a recluse, with unpacked religion baggage, earning my self-worth through excessive work and then rewarding myself by uncorking a bottle only to feel the shame. Sigh… I think you get the picture! 
)
And thanks too for the heads up that we have 2 days until the actual day… that gives us time to throw together a little party for all of the milestones around here!
@TSan can you please help with the baking? 
So that it doesn’t turn out like this?
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Thank you for your support @Dazercat . It’s nice to hear that your son is doing so well. 5 and a half years is fantastic. Being bipolar and an addict can be quite complicated. I had to change quite a few meds till we found the right combination. All is good now. Fingers crossed 
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Thanks! This is great advice. I just downloaded the Calm app so I’ll try that tonight
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One of the hardest parts about learning meditation for me was learning it’s ok for your mind to wonder off. Eventually catch it, and focus on your breathing. And when it happens again. Embrace it, and then go back to focusing on the inhale and exhale. I use to get so mad at myself cuz “I couldn’t do it.”
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Saving this list you made cuz its freakin amazing!! I relate so much!! Thanks for sharing… 
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very blessed with my numbers couldnt be happier and grateful then ever ! Congrats everyone hitting milestones
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Thats a great podcast!! Thanks for sharing. Happy 4 months to you 
!! Your numbers are looking terrific!! 
You are so amazing inside and out!!
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You’re doing good girl. Keep it up
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@TSan Congratulations on triple digits. I really enjoy your posts and appreciate your presence.
@Rockstar24777 Happy to hear about the new therapist. I really hope you click with this one and have a safe place to unpack and grow.
@RosaCanDo WHOOP WHOOP. Congratulations on 4 months girl. Your growth and strength are truly amazing.
@anon28001181 Absolutely LOVE your focus. What is versus what ifs are a daily struggle at times and staying in the present can be challenging but can be so mind altering.
@CATMANCAM Hope whatever it is works itself out and clears for you.
@anon79808082 I too was concerned about ya until I read your words last night. Please don’t fade too far into the background as your presence during my journey has literally got me through some days.
203 days. I didn’t get the job and today I’m okay with that. I received a lot of positive feedback from one of the managers I interviewed with and he has went as far to say if I see any openings of interest to let him know as he would make a referral to the hiring manager. So back to the job search I go with as much if not more determination than before. I just really need to be involved in something that is for and about me and doesn’t revolve around my lil family. Have been doing more thought about finding an in person AA meeting. Reached out to a family member and questioned their experience of working the steps. I feel like I’m missing out on something in my toolbox and wondering if the steps may be it. I plan to do some personal research in this area and see how things go.
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@Lisa07, @RosaCanDo, @Dazercat, @Squirt, @Conor689908, @CATMANCAM, @Clarity: thank you so much for your kind words!
@TSan: thanks a lot, you’re presence on this forum really means a lot to me. Congrats on reaching 100 days!
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