Checking in at the end of day 42. It was just one of those days but I survived it and stayed sober. Thanks for the encouragement @M-be-free49 @TSan and @anon60334405 . Everyone here is truly amazing. I’m feeling super drained and starting to be blah about winter. I’m ready for bed. Goodnight TS folks sleep well. 
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Thank you so much it mean alot there was a reason i wasnt feeling to good this explains it thank god it was not covid ! 
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Get well my friend I’m glad your ok
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Oh no dude that looks rough. Get some rest please
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Tomato, tamato! 
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That’s not random, Mike. It’s great that you’ve found someone with the same interest and who’s also sober. Could be the friendship you’ve been looking for.
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Oh no ! Hope your OK ??
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day 36… Woke up at 4.50am today 
went out and bought myself a late xmas present, a make up mirror which ive wanted for a while so I’m happy I got it… Everything is smooth sailing. I feel good today. No relapse thoughts so that’s winning for me 
went out and bought myself a late xmas present, a make up mirror which ive wanted for a while so I’m happy I got it… Everything is smooth sailing. I feel good today. No relapse thoughts so that’s winning for me
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Doing great just have to stop working out for a bit until my lungs recover ill be okay thanks for the check up
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Day 3. I really screwed up over the holidays. I’m still trying to come to terms with my divorced situation I suppose, but that’s still no excuse. My ex has been with someone new for over 3 years now, and my daughter went there and of course it’s the picture-perfect time. I’ve made a lot of progress since my divorce… I paid the debt off he left me with, I bought a home I love, and I have a great job. So why the hell did i decide to go on a bender both christmas and 2 days for new years? The guy I was seeing who is also dealing with issues, drank right along side me. I love him dearly but we seem to be toxic for each other. I feel such deep shame and guilt. I have to let those self deprecating ideas go. I’m tired of hating myself. I start 75Hard tomorrow which I think will be life changing for me. It’s about developing mental toughness and getting your ass straightened out in life with extreme discipline (DAILY: work out twice a day for 45 minutes (once has to be outside), drink a gallon of water, take a progress picture, read 10 pages of a self-help type book, and stick to a diet of your choice, and no alcohol). I got the app for accountability and I have 2 other friends doing it with me. I just want to be happy and refuse to stay on this crappy course. Better days ahead. Life is so hard. Ive never felt so down but am going to get out of this funk no matter what it takes. Thank you for whoever listened.
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I’m glad you’re back, Amy. 
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Good for you. You sound/are a strong woman. Go for it. I would love to get that app sounds like something I could use also.
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Thank you so much, Sarah! I’m really feeling proud about this 4 months. Worked hard and am seeing results 
I’m grateful for your support along the way.
@Squirt Michelle, thank you, sweet lady!
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Day 25. Feeling very impatient to get to a month.
My sleep is messy but that could be also weaning off anti psychs. Cravings are less and less but when I get them…well, they are definitely there!!! This forum has been great. I log in every time I feel a craving arise and to keep me motivated. Thank you all!!!
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Day 354. Had a good day. Productive and a bit of fun. Did a zoom meeting tonight. Ordered pizza for my housemates and I to enjoy while watching some tv.
God bless you all. 
& 
P.s. You are smart. Ya you !!
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Day 327~ Checking in gang. I dunno I’m not feeling very social lately. I feel a little withdrawn. I think I’m just busy right now with so much going on in my life I’m feeling spread a bit thin. I’m feeling strong with my sobriety but just feeling a bit of an emotional shutdown and a little withdrawn from people and things in my life. I’m working on my boundaries still and I’m realizing that work may never be done. It’s so incredibly hard for me. I have a hard time putting to words exactly what I want and following through with it no matter who it may piss off. Putting your wants and desires above others is not easy but it’s 
necessary in order to have true happiness and peace in life.
Life continues to test me along this road of recovery and that’s ok. Without pain there is no growth or change. Keep going no matter what. Getting sober is one thing guaranteed you will not regret doing.
Keep fighting and keep putting yourself first. You do deserve to live your best life with a smile on your face and in your heart.
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45 days. Feels good, but I’m so frustrated by how I keep turning to food. It’s better than alcohol, I guess. But wouldn’t it be great to be free from everything? Will I forever be owned by something?
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What a wise woman you are!
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Hey thanks 
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