Exactly! Carne is meat.
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Thank you. My wife just told me I should do that Iāve been looking it up on the web
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Yes, it means meat in many languages with Latin origins. This is where the word ācarnivore animalsā come from, or the ācarnivalā, the fest before the spring fasting.
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Carnage and carnal pleasures 
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Does anyone know if anyone is from mapleton Utah?
175.01 Days
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- Coffee. Late shift coming up but woke up at early shift waking up time. Well OK. Somehow the worst of my tiredness Iāve been feeling and building for a couple of weeks wore of all of a sudden when I shared some incoherent stuff in group therapy yesterday. After feeling rather locked in and isolated for most of the session. What finally got me going was another member of the group telling about his relapse in weed use, about how he thought he was an addict but still thought and wished he could use controlledā¦ I could give 'm some of what I learned here. And after that share some of my own troubled mind. So a good session after all.
Will make today a good one too. Sober and clean. And do I spot some blue sky outside? Yay! Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from my balcony.
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Wow, had a proper craving today. Finished a day of exams, and just felt really like I wanted a release, an escape = āI deserve itā. There is nothing I really have to do workwise for next week = āI canā. I thought about the milestone coming up, but it is just a number on an app = āsod it, go onā. I really had to think how it would affect my kids, really picture their sad disappointed faces. In the end I didnāt denonate almost 5 months of sobriety, but scary how real those feelings felt.
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Iām here, Iām alive and Iām sober.
Day 131.
We finally or eventually (Iām not a fan) got some snow that stays on the ground. And itās still snowing.
Iāve got school meetings from 13.00-17.00 today, ending the day with another seminar.
Once again Iām happy I donāt have to go anywhere and can do it from home, but itās still no joy in it.
Tweenie had a huge angry outburst yesterday, my husband took her to the store when he came home so she got to talk to the owner, returnin everything she stoled and sign a paper that says sheās banned from the store without an adult ( That would be my husband because I refuse to take her anywhere) when they got back home my 18 y/o called and asked if tweenie had her new Makeupset and eyebrowknife that she knew she packed. My husband asked tweenie who once again denied, but he found all the stuff after a search in her room. Tweenie got a tantrum shouting l, screaming and started to pack all her belongings. Eventually we called her mother and she said that if tweenie even tried to leave the house sheāll call the police in her. More angry shouting from tweenie, and a lot of mean things where said, about me, my husband and the boys. When my husband told her to stop she said she wasnāt shouting she was expressing her feelings. Her Ma eventually hung up on her, because she didnāt want to take more shit. And tweenie continued saying that I donāt dare to yell at her (I donāt yell, on anyone, Iām just not like that and prefer a calm explaining conversation) because I wasnāt her child.
And when she said that I went upstairs and said if she thinks expressing her feelings is shouting mean things to everyone and doing what ahw can to tease and upset her mother then Iāll expres my feelings to so I said in a calm way. That my feelings is that she needs help, so either she calls the social workers emergency phone and theyāll come and place her somewhere else because weāre all horrible here, or we call the psychologist emergency phone so theyāll come and take her to the hospital. She kept screaming and shouting so I said that the way she acts isnāt worth my time and energy, she doesnāt give a damn what I say anyway, and if the only to make her listen is yelling and shouting I couldnāt care less if she messes up her entire life. I wouldnāt tolerate anyone shouting at me, and I definitely wonāt make an exception for her. Then I left.
Tweenie and my husband had a long talk, she was up early this morning, so I had to go up early to guard her, so she didnāt do anything bad.
My husband is having another talk with her today, but with all the things she said yesterday Iām sure nothing helps. And I told my husband I wonāt put anymore energy in her at all. She clearly stated that it doesnāt matter yesterday. Iām not proud to say it, but Iāve given up. Sheās on her own, it took 4 hours for our 10 y/o to fall asleep yesterday because he was scared and worried about tweenie. Itās not worth the chaos she creates.
And my husband is still in the soft side, treating her like a princess. I canāt for my life figure out why, heās always been the firm one with the other kids.
Anyway, time for getting dressed and get some breakfast.
Hugs from Sweden 
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That all sounds pretty full-on. I donāt know what on earth can be done to make some progress. Is she in school or working or what? What will be the consequences from taking ur other kidās stuff?
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Mapleton is a small city about 40 minutes south of me, Iām not familiar with any members on here from there, but let me know if I can do anything to help.
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This gives me hope that I will make it through when I have a craving like that. I really appreciate you sharing. I will have to remember to think it through all the way like you did. Well done getting past it.
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I thought today was Day 28 but itās actually 27 on looking at the calendar. I kind of like that I am losing track because it means Iām feeling better I think.
We are on lockdown now here in Brisbane Australia and I am a little apprehensive. The thought of staying inside (other than for a little exercise daily) is scary. Iāve been keeping myself busy and going out more, to lunch, shopping etc since Day 1. This will require focus and Iāll no doubt be logged on here the whole time.
Luckily the itchy skin has died down, but my sleep is horrendous. I sleep in 2,3,4 hour blocks then my gut wakes me up hungry for sugar/carbs/anything fattyā¦like a bloody hangover. Crazy!!!
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I commend you for the effort you have put in and only hope that one day she recognizes it. You are in a struggle of conflicting boundaries, it seems to me, and sometimes there is no right answer. But youāre getting through it. Sending good thoughts and hopes for some improvement in your home situation.
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Sheās about to be 13 in February , so still a tweenie. School starts Monday, after winter break. Iām not sure Iāve got any more consequences, she doesnāt have a phone or computer. The police has confiscated that because of inappropriate behavior online. Weāre waiting on a trial. Thereāll also be another trial for the shoplifting issues. I want to take her acess to the tv away but my husband doesnāt approve, and heās given her a radio so she can listen to music in her room, without my conscience.
Usually when she takes stuff, she denies, we find them, she has to hand them back personally and say sheās sorry. But it doesnāt mean a thing for her, the discussion about it doesnāt mean a thing to her either. Sheās fully aware that you canāt take things though, she just doesnāt give a darn. I have a theory that she sees herself as superior to everyone else, so no rules needs to apply on her.
But as I said, I gave up yesterday. I got from āIām going to keeo trying even if Iām the last person on earth doing itā to āItās pointless Iām outā
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Thank you 
We reached out to the social service last week and begged them to start a case and help her work with her attitude. I donāt know what else to do.
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Day 123: Might as well check in. Managed to get a few hours sleep before doggy hospice duty called, and then struggled to get back to sleep. I tried for an hour or so and then decided to get up and prep my crockpot meal. Itās set and going and now, well, what to do. Will probably try to lie down again soon, but Iām worried Iāll disturb the now snoozing pup and heāll get up and he canāt be left unattended now. Le sigh. Well now he has come and found me and laid at my feet so Iāll be staying put for now.
I wanted to share something I heard on the radio, another gem from our elders that stuck with me. The radio program was interviewing a couple who are both centenarians, I think the gentleman was 107 and the lady 102 or so. I didnāt hear the whole segment, but heard what sounded like their advice for living well. This is all awfully paraphrased, but the gentleman said something like we should look back at each day and think about what we have taken and what we have given back, and to always strive, no matter what, to have done something to be contributing something to the world around us. His partner, the lady, then chimed in and said to always have something to look forward to. Iām not doing it justice, but what they said resonated with me. I believe it is absolutely okay to need help and get help, but I also think it is important to be offering something of ourselves. And Iām not talking in a transactional way, I mean that for our sense of self worth, it is important to be offering something of ourselves to the world. Iāll have to say this is a personal belief, but for me I know itās means I need to be of service to others and my community somehow. Itās always been a value of mine, but i will be taking steps to be more systematic about this in my life. And for the having something to look forward to, I think in early sobriety it has consistently been to go to sleep and wake up sober each day. I know that this foundation will allow me to look forward to many other things, but I can be solid in this basic act every single day.
Time to migrate to the bedroom with the old boy, wish me luck. Big love, folks. 
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Have you been there before, if so, did you like it? Thanks for the reply!
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It seems like she needs to start understanding the effects of her actions. If she has some things she wants or prizes, she wonāt want to lose them, and can be reasoned with. At the moment I feel like she hates everything and lashes out at everything. Very hard to deal with.
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