28 Likes
Way to go guys.
@Rockstar24777 and @Piglet on 7 months.
@AmyBeth on your 2 weeks.
And @Cler on 160.
5 Likes
Day 28. I’m going off anti psychs too and I’m not sleeping, at least, not normal hours. I have work next week but at the moment I am getting to sleep at 4am and waking in the afternoon. How do I change this pattern? I tried staying awake in the day but I ended up not sleeping til 4am anyway. I feel like I cant win.
16 Likes
Im struggling with this too, I think alot of it has to do with me working nights.
I tried pulling a 24 hr wake cycle and it’s a trainwreck in the making, the only thing I can say is try cranking back an hour, each night
3 Likes
Day 193.
A lonnggggg day. Happy to be heading into a sober weekend. Happy to see so many people here doing things today to create better tomorrows. And don’t you find that even today is better too? Even if it was a hard one? It’s gonna feel mighty fine to wake up tomorrow morning after a night of making the right decisions!
G’night, beautiful friends. Let’s do another one tomorrow. 
@CATMANCAM you’re sounding pretty content and at peace with life on life’s terms, and it’s beautiful to see/read, and inspires me huge. 
Milestones!
@anon28001181 I’m so late to the party, but, er, a butt load of congrats on your 150 days! 
@MagicILY that’s 6 weeks today!
@jjcarson92 2 sleeps to go!
And all of us - one more day!
25 Likes
@JoMarch and @Fury Oh, guys… I wish you both sound sleeps tonight! May you wake the neighbours with your snoring and rise feeling refreshed! 
Until then, read the memes? If you need a distraction?
4 Likes
M 4.98
So close! 5 months will be my pb apart from when I was “up the duff”, as we say. Still feeling residually annoyed and off, but ok.
20 Likes
It’s really beautiful Tomek. Love it.
2 Likes
That’s me in therapy. Thanks for sharing Beth. I’m happy you’re happy. Hugs.
4 Likes
- Coffee. Going to the service for one of my residents who died last week. Thinking of something to say. It will come. I’m sober and clean so I’m present and I can think. In fact the day holds some promise. It’s cold but clear with maybe some snow in between. I think I’ll bike to the the dairy farm after the service and get some, well, dairy. Have as good a weekend as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam.
29 Likes
Checking in on day 365! 
On this very morning 1 year ago my sobriety jurney started! And here I am. Stil sober!
This community helped me so much and gave me so much support and strength over the past year.
The new year has alteady off to a good start for me!
I’ve got a good feeling about myself today!
I hope you all have a great sober saturday!
41 Likes
I promised a check in, and its gonna be a long one. But I mentioned anxiety and depression, and left the cliffhanger so it’s only fair.
Day 202.
Where do I start, well at the beginning I guess. Being in the DC Area I got a first hand sight of the disaster then the curfew and the left wing/right wing bias news opinions.
I got another rejection letter this morning regarding me getting back into LE, 4th one in 2 months. This was my I thought garuntee in place I was wrong got the Dear John letter. Which is incredibly frustrating, yes I get it, the pencil pushers want the 21 y/o kid who never moved out of his/her parents basement. Got a 4 year degree and never even had a parking ticket. Was a perfect boy scout and never even tried smoking a cigarette. They look great on paper. But anyone in the street will tell you, they dont have the slightest idea how to handle adversity or themselves when things dont go easy.
Its beyond frustrating I spent hundreds of hours plus money and travel time to do all of this to only get hey sorry thanks but no thanks. Its like why even bother trying? Feels like insanity doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Part of me says I keep getting rejections because I’m applying locally and I have no interest in staying here, but I’m willing to make concessions, for the right gig.
Then comes the phone call from my Dr. They want to do more tests. Apparently my thyroid numbers, cholesterol and A1C showed abnormal.
Like for real? I switched my lifestyle for better things and I’m falling apart? What kind of crap is this, and then they told me btw we ran an STD test, and you showed up negative, even though I told them I’m getting as much action as a Nun, it was like we don’t believe you.
Alot of you know my friend relapsed he was like having a little brother I actually liked, so it was painful, he’s in Rehab right now and been checking in daily, but of course I got caught in his personal mess. Long story but he’s been hanging with a girl, his.GF not his GF i don’t know alot of moving parts there, shes really sweet but nuts like the rest of us, they were talking and hanging out looked really good on each other, they professed a mutual interest and she flaked, it kinda messed him up, she found out he relapsed and was calling him crying how she needs him and he cant go out like this, but blew him off for. Like two weeks prior to this she wants him to call her everyday from rehab and he does. She never answers. So I hear all about the mixed signals. I understand it, he loves her. And is trying his damndest but keeps coming up empty handed, I’ve been there its pretty deflating, you dont want to be a quitter, but you also dont want to drag yourself through hell for nothing. Its always a bad situation to be in.
Then there’s me, I stayed local after treatment, I was originally going to go to Florida, but decided to stay within driving distance of home as me and Sig Other were supposed to work on things. Not live together do counseling, work on issues in our lives. But me being me, I of course had to speak my piece, and being quite honest about what needs to be done, didn’t fair well. And when haven’t spoken since, I accept it as too damaged to repair, call it a day and let that shit go. Her choice so I respect it.
My kids mother since we split has been too far into my business, we talked when my GF kicked me out and decided that I was gonna go on a nationwide job hunt, I had quite a few opportunities lined up before I went to treatment, we discussed the logistics of seeing my kids. And all. I went to see my kids and she was too busy nosing into me and my personal business to let me spend time with my kids she wouldn’t let me leave with them and I could understand why I wasn’t in a condition for driving I had to leave. When I was in treatment trying to call them she became the gatekeeper, I would not allow her to be in control of my treatment plan nor talk with my doctors or therapists, so she cut me off from my kids, We split 11 years ago, I’m not the same person as I was then.
As far as my progress. All I hear is life gets better in sobriety, 7 months in, I’m stuck where I’m at. Limited progress, and more doors close than they do open. Which leaves me romanticizing with my previous life, I had a good job, made good money about to buy a house, a good sig other who had issues but I could deal with them, she dealt with my boozing as long as I didn’t become a prick, I was never violent towards her never would be. And of course I screwed that up,
But its frustrating I managed to make so much progress while still out there and fast, now I’m barely scratching the surface of making progress. Maybe it’s the instant gratification thing, maybe it’s just the damn truth.
Captain hindsight is 20/20, if I knew what I know now, i would have said no I’m going to FL, if I’m gonna be stuck somewhere at least I’ll enjoy it.
I talked to friends locally and got the typical in recovery canned responses, give it time, day by day, easy does it, you can think of it I heard it. It devalues the quotes to me. So yeah I’m having a lot of mixed emotions about what I’m doing wrong.
TL,DR - cliff notes, I’m a shit show in my head
23 Likes
I work overnight 
1 Like
4 Likes
Thanks Laura, my accountability to you guys and everyone I’ve told(advertised more like) my decision to stay on the wagon has really helped as well. I’m one of those who once I make a promise to someone I try to do whatever to keep it. That’s what my sobriety is, a promise to myself not to drink and smoke. The other day while garden, for the first time in ages, I actually thought it wouldn’t be so bad to light up one while painting flower pots. The thought shocked me and I reminded myself again to be on guard at all times, addiction is really serious and is there at all times.
I’ll continue, ODAAT to be aware and never let my guard and resolve down.
Congrats on your week plus, just remember ODAAT and some accountability don’t hurt none.
Blessings and sobriety!
15 Likes
Thank you!! Still hard to believe I know lol 
1 Like
That all sounds tough, hard to be patient and wait for the benefits of sobriety. I nearly gave u a canned response myself, not because I don’t care, but because that is all u can do. All I know is drinking will make it worse. Hope things improve for you.
3 Likes
Huge congrats Jonathan!!! It has not been an easy year for you I know, but you made it anyhow. Fantastisch werk vriend. Ga zo door.
1 Like
Dankjewel!
1 Like