@crystalclear sending prayers does your daughter have access to counselling/therapy? @Drave congrats on 30 days @emc2018 beautiful post @anon27760155 congrats on 5 months🎉, I hope the knee is not giving you too much pain. @Truckinmonster21 sending love @Rockstar24777 congrats on 200! @zzz congrats on 3 weeks @Squirt Good Luck for the interview
141 days no alcohol.
109 days no cocaine.
Well today started off well, my car passed its MOT
Then just as I was starting to meditate afterwards there was a loud knock at my door, which I thought was strange as no one rang my buzzer, so I answered it thinking it was going to be my neighbour…it wasn’t. The guy started off by asking if I was the owner of the black Astra, I said yes, he then asked if I wanted to sell the car, I said I didn’t, he then asked if I remembered him, I said no, he said it was a few years ago but you used to buy weed off me, I said well I haven’t done that for years, he then said, I heard you were doing (then pointed at his nose) I said I don’t do that anymore either, he said oh really, so you don’t need any, I said I’m not interested and that I don’t even drink anymore, I started to close my door and he said okay I’ll let you go. I was shook. Not scared really, I just cannot believe the audacity of them spying on me (I noticed the same car watching me.from across the street a day or two ago, but had came to.the conclusion that I ws being paranoid), to find out which flat I lived in, then coming into the block without pressing my buzzer to knock on my actual door! It’s crazy! I can only assuming that they are losing so much money from me, and after spying they must know I’m struggling financially as they would have seen the for sale sign on my balcony, they must think I’m desperate enough to sell my car and to start buying from them again. This guy must be involved with my ex dealers somehow now, as I hadn’t seen him for atleast 2-3 years. Then, 30mins later I just happened to be looking out my bedroom door, which overlooks the car park, and I saw someone getting on a bike that was leaning against the fence by my car, so I’ve been down to check my tyres and brakes and they seem okay and the car didn’t explode when I started the engine, so hopefully that part was just a coincidence and unrelated
I cannot wait to get moved now. I did not need that today.
Congratulations on 5 months @anon27760155!
Congratulations on 200 days @Rockstar24777!
To stay clean and sober during surgery and injuries shows a ton of strength!
Thanks for any prayers sent my way. My daughter has been seeing a counselor for several years, we’ve been through a few. And three different psychiatrists. We’re finally pleased with the current one. But she still struggles. So we’re looking at more intensive treatment and that’s just scary to me.
Afternoon check in
Thank yoou everyone for the love and strength i really appreciate it you guys rock ! Well i did not end up crying not because i didnt want to but i found out it was just construction debris in my eyes making them water my day is going is great being on the road is like therapy LETS GOOO !!!
Day 474
Woke up with a headache. Battled my kid to take her meds. Cried. Sitting in bed at noon, still in my pajamas, trying to find some hope in scripture and my God. I have to go back to work tomorrow after being off for a week. And I am not mentally ready to go back. So I guess that’s my goal for today. Get myself mentally fit to go back to work. And maybe shower. Staying sober is the easiest part of my life right now. I have zero desire to drink and add more chaos to the situation.
day 29… I had the craziest dream last night. I was in a car in another country and all of a sudden the roads under the cars started cracking and separating and cars started falling through the cracks , it was like it was a big earth quake… It felt so real… Then as soon as I woke up this morning I turn the news on the TV and over night a huge earth quake had hit Croatia… This type of thing happens to me often. I will dream something and it will then happen almost identically.
Checking in, day 54. I have some cravings which frightens me a bit, but I have stronger coping mechanisms and more experience than last time, so it will be ok I guess.
Anyway I’m fine, I find more and more joy in things like reading or having a cup of tea and I binge watch less movie and binge eat less chocolate.
I have a new favourite spot in the flat. It used to be at my laptop with a bottle of bear or wine next to it. Now it’s this:
Day 5.
Hello all. Third attempt is just as many years. Feeling pretty good about this time around. No longer in a toxic relationship and making healthier choices. Bought the family, including myself, gym memberships to help the positive forward movement
Thank you, I try to be aware that it doesn’t have to lead to a relapse like last time. I don’t feel myself more unstable and yet the cravings are getting stronger.
I’m reading Sapiens by Harari.
does your daughter have access to counselling/therapy? @Drave congrats on 30 days 
I can only assuming that they are losing so much money from me, and after spying they must know I’m struggling financially as they would have seen the for sale sign on my balcony, they must think I’m desperate enough to sell my car and to start buying from them again. This guy must be involved with my ex dealers somehow now, as I hadn’t seen him for atleast 2-3 years. Then, 30mins later I just happened to be looking out my bedroom door, which overlooks the car park, and I saw someone getting on a bike that was leaning against the fence by my car, so I’ve been down to check my tyres and brakes and they seem okay and the car didn’t explode when I started the engine, so hopefully that part was just a coincidence and unrelated 
Staying sober is the easiest part of my life right now. I have zero desire to drink and add more chaos to the situation.
you are one strong person…
