good morning sober friends woke up to a scorcher this morning. Its going to be 38 degrees today. Last night was difficult to fall asleep from the noise out on the street coz there is a new lake front bar/restaurant that has opened on the block opposite my house on the lake. Beautiful venue. Perfect for summer. Lots of Sunday drinkers visiting there and its open till the evening and people are parking there cars on my street so last night was difficult falling asleep from the noise. Also I was a bit sunburnt and its so hard to sleep with sunburn its going to be 38 degrees today offfttttt that’s hot… I’m up at 5.30am this morning, ive journaled and meditated and watched the sun rise. I’m now going to go bike ride to get coffee and go across the road for a morning float in the ocean , and then come back home well before the sun hits its peak today other wise I will burn look like a tomatoe I do tan naturally but coz of covid my skin has been restored to its original pail milky white complexing being stuck indoors for a year lol its going to be interesting to see how my moods go this 2nd half of summer being outside passing bars /restaurants with people out there enjoying them self in the summer sun with friends and beverages in hand… I’m so glad I’m sober but there is a pang of envy in me that I know I’m not strong enough yet to be out there mingling around alcohol etc…one drink and without fail every single time I end up getting on. Every time. And I would always try test my self and prove to myself I can have a drink and not relapse with gear… Nooooooo. No you can not April. You can not. And finally, I learnt my lesson and now happily choose not to drink-period. I love my life sober/clean and would not trade it for anything
I hit the 6 month mark today. I am beyond ecstatic. There are days when it feels easy and others when I have to work harder at it. Though, recent events helped me see why I don’t drink and why I keep working hard, mentally and spiritually.
The other night we went to my grandparents house for dinner. When we arrived my grandfather was so drunk he didn’t know what was going on around him - as I could relate. Dinner went fine (considering) and when we went to leave, I heard my son and my fiancé scream. When I ran to them, my fiancé said that my grandfather, in his belligerent state, had been telling my son goodbye, hugged him from behind and proceeded to put him in a chokehold and tried to choke my son out. My 10 year old son. He kept saying “I didn’t mean to do it.” And my son was in complete shock and is now scared of my grandfather - I don’t blame him. Nor have we seen him since.
Needless to say, this was a reminder of why I don’t drink. I was never able to handle my alcohol, though I told myself I could - this reminded me of that.
Anyway, long post today sorry all. I hope everyone has a great week. Stay safe, stay strong.
Definitely higher power just giving you a lil reminder. Proud of you for staying strong which is obvious that you would of. Oh yeah and Budweiser is better . Obviously jk
Checking in, day 66. It was a stressful day full of tantrums and fights, everyone was so uptight, I’m glad it’s over.
Today I deleted my messenger account. A few months ago I terminated my facebook account, but left messenger, so that I can communicate with others. But during the winter holiday I realized, that the only person I use it with is my best friend, but now we are taking a break. I lost the friendship of two of my friends recently, so nobody left with whom I use it and have deeper relationship with. In spite of this I still checked in the app from time to time, hoping that my lost friends or my best friend contacted me. But they didn’t, and I was disappointed and sad every time I faced it. My other reason for deleting it is that I want to focus on my real life relationships, my friends here, I have to take root, I cannot long for things that remained in the past. So I rather deleted the whole stuff. I wrote a mail to my best friend, that I’m no longer on the app, but I’m always available via email. I didn’t want to be rude, but didn’t want to explain myself or my moves to her either. Anyway I feel myself a jerk to cut the channel we used to contact each other by without explanation.
Thanks. It made me realize how easy it would’ve been to relapse… it could’ve happened almost instantaneously with very little thought. Nice to see you doing better. Oh and if it was Budweiser I wouldn’t have been tempted
Another angry outburst from tweenie tonight. This time she had a harp plastic thing and hurt herself and us with. We called the psychiatric emergency unit, they told us to call back tomorrow. We called her mother and she talked with tweenie for about an hour while tweenie jeered.
My husband called his boss and took the day off tomorrow, probably the week.
Well see how it ends.
Also all my classmates seems to be applying for abroad studies. I know I can’t, I won’t be able to go.
Thinking about either getting drunk forever or runaway from home.
None of it would be fair to my husband, but I’m really really tired at all this.
10 y/o can’t sleep, school starts tomorrow. I’ve got another group project to present and another exam to write. And I’ll still be here for next term, snd next for the upcoming two years.
I know all my posts recently haven’t been really uplifting, but I’m probably more down than up.
Thankfully my husband had the possibility to take tomorrow off, his boss wished us the best of luck with tweenie. But he also said he can’t be off to much or he’ll be out of work.
I’ll say like I’ve said a lot of times this week already. This sucks.
Wishing y’all a good night’s sleep (Current time at my place 22.10)
You guys use the Celsius scale, right? I’m not sure I could survive in those temps, if it’s over +15 C here we’re using shorts and tank tops thinking it’s really nice and warm.
Hey T,
thank you for your honest post. I think it was a right call to get off of messenger. Your reasoning is sounds solid. It’s a brave thing to do. With so many things going on, I admire your commitment and loyalty towards your family
All the best to you
Tack för din post. Det låter ganska dåligt och för mycket för din familj. Jag hoppas och ber att ni ska få professionell hjälp så fort som möjligt Kram
Quick turnaround day I flip from 3rd shift to 2nd on Sundays so I get an 8 hr break in between
I always have a pile of anxiety cause I dont get to sleep right, irritating to say the least, but anxiety is a bitch and screws me up
On the other hand, I had a great zoom call with the TS crowd, which was totally a stress reliever, and gave the opportunity to provide a few laughs
As far as being rejected by another local job opportunity it was really projected to me in a different light that I haven’t even thought about. I chose to stay where I’m at for someone else, before treatment I had opportunities across the country and abroad but backed out.
If I accept local work, I’m here for at least 2 years I have to sign a contract, 2 years is a long time in some ways, short in others, I need to stop selling myself short, taking shortcuts and holding myself back.
I need to refocus my energies and set on my goals and desires, not shortcut to be left holding the bag.
Oh @nwags if you need help with guitar I offered my assistance to others on the forum, you can feel free to reach out as well, I have tons of resources and can always zoom call a lesson as needed
woke up to a scorcher this morning. Its going to be 38 degrees today. Last night was difficult to fall asleep from the noise out on the street coz there is a new lake front bar/restaurant that has opened on the block opposite my house on the lake. Beautiful venue. Perfect for summer. Lots of Sunday drinkers visiting there and its open till the evening and people are parking there cars on my street so last night was difficult falling asleep from the noise. Also I was a bit sunburnt and its so hard to sleep with sunburn 
its going to be 38 degrees today offfttttt that’s hot… I’m up at 5.30am this morning, ive journaled and meditated and watched the sun rise. I’m now going to go bike ride to get coffee and go across the road for a morning float in the ocean , and then come back home well before the sun hits its peak today other wise I will burn look like a tomatoe 
I am beyond ecstatic. There are days when it feels easy and others when I have to work harder at it. Though, recent events helped me see why I don’t drink and why I keep working hard, mentally and spiritually.
. Obviously jk
(Current time at my place 22.10)
cwak !!!