Checking in daily to maintain focus #24

209 days. Started the day off arguing with my stepdaughter about brushing her hair. I believe it’s important to start the day on a positive note and I strongly dislike that she’s starting her school day angry at me. Plan to smooth this over as soon as I can.
Limiting myself to time spent in my bedroom seems to be helping in more ways than I anticipated. I felt a lot more connected than removed yesterday but still spent the majority of the day doing solo activities. After coffee this morning I’m going to shower and get dressed up for the day and hit the job ads. My man has a couple hours of errands after his shift ends this morning so that leaves just the girls and I home. Oldest is online learning and unless asked I no longer involved myself there. Thinking I’ll cuddle up with the wee one, after my job search, and find a good movie.
Hope everyone has a good 24.

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Day 31.
I honestly did not think I would make it to a month. It’s the longest I’ve been off alcohol for about 17 years.
My sleep schedule is still messy. I dont fall asleep until 5am now and sleep all day.
It’s 2am right now and I’m going to try my best to relax and meditate if I can.
I’m back at work soon so I need to get this sleep business sorted asap.
Oh, I dont weigh myself as a rule because it depresses me and just cheers on my OCD, but I did try on some clothing that were tight a month ago and are now (somewhat) loose! I guess not drinking 8 or 9 litres of empty wine calories a week has helped. And my daily swimming (…doggy paddling…) may also have contributed.
@RosaCanDo So sorry for the loss of your dog. Mine is 15 and doesn’t have long to go. Sending you virtual hugs xxoo

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Everythings gonna be ok

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Yes :). Just trying to spread some positivity for anyone new

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It’s definitely an attention issue too. We’re fully aware of that, and she does get a lot of positive attention. She also really liked her old foster care family, but when they had a baby of their own she became a danger to all if them and they drove her to the child psychiatric hospital because she threatened to take her own life. Wherever she does come, and no matter how much attention or love she gets god or bad it doesn’t matter to her. And she’s smart enough to calculate where the next step will take her. She’s still just I kid I know that, but when even the child psychiatric hospital says that there’s nothing none of us can do to fix her issues… Well I don’t know. All I know is that she needs to work with herself with professional help. We’re neither able to watch her 24/7 or work with her issues the way she needs. Hopefully we can together with the child psychiatric hospital and the social service find something that’ll get her on the right track eventually and that the help will come quickly.

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We aren’t drinking for today. :heart::heart:. I love this. Thank you. 61 this year for you and 40 for me. We can do this. Sober cheers to us! :cupcake::birthday:

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Thank you :heart: I really don’t want to send her away, as you said she needs a place to feel home. But at the same time, keeping her here and not being able to give her the help that ahe needs isn’t fair to anyone.

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It won’t be fair to her either. I’m sure she can get on track with the right kind of help. I don’t believe anyone is hopeless.

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888 days alcohol free. Happy Monday

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@MrsOdh

Dont mind me but I wanna see if I’m tracking right here, im guessing this is a foster child that you took in? I was just presuming she was a child from a previous marriage,

I understand your frustrations, especially with a child who has been in the care system, it can be a behavior to get what they want, I’m not getting my where I’m at they can send me elsewhere repeat jts almost an institutionalized developed behavior

I do wish you and the hubs all the best

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I am so sorry sweet @RosaCanDo. I know the pain and grief you are feeling. We put down our sweet Sierra when we realized our delay was for us not her. I am sending you the biggest virtual hug I can and know my heart is singing to yours. Proud of you for not turning away from your plan while you are struggling, Chuncho is proud of you. Keep checking in as the team is here for you.

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Checking out as I am freezing and probably crawl into bed. Heating not working. Wtf. No need to call someone. Would take longer than I am still living here for someone to answer and come.

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@gmeeb congrats on 6 months :tada:
@cwak congrats on 50 days :tada:
@RosaCanDo Bless your hearts, it’s never easy, I hope that peace will come and that the sadness will be outweighed by fond memories :blue_heart:
@Private50 congrats on 30 days :tada:
@Draynewe congrats on 90+ days :tada:
@Ninjakitty congrats on 2 years+ :tada:
@Blake11 congrats on 30 days :tada:
@MrsOdh sometimes a secure unit is the only thing that works, atleast you gave her a chance.
@JoMarch congrats on your month :tada:

154 days no alcohol.
4 months no cocaine.

Went out for another 15 min walk first thing this morning, it felt really good, though my feet have really hurt since so I didn’t push for a second one.

Realised I’d missed the first few episodes of 2 singing competition programs, so I’ve spent most of the day catching up on those and they fill me with such joy. They are called The Voice, and The Masked Singer, both on ITVhub app. Got another 1.5 episodes left to catch up with before I settle in for the night so I’m off to enjoy those :grin:

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Long story short. It’s my husband child, we’ve been married since she was two. Mother has custody and always had because they’ve never been together. When she was younger her Ma used to drop her off at our place just to pick her up after a few weeks whenever she felt like having a kid again. Fast forward a few years and the Ma forbid and stopped all contact and one day she once again dropped the kid off here. She was about to stay and everything was cleared with starting school and all. The mother realized she’ll loose a lot of government support money if her kid came to stay with us. And never signed the custody papers. Fast forward a few years again an we found out that the kid was in foster care in a family in our neighbor town. Apparently her second foster care family, they started to come for visits and we had regular phone contact with the kid. And one day the foster care family called and told us they’ve dropped her off at the emergency unit at the kids psychiatric hospital. And that they didn’t want to care for her anymore. The psychiatric hospital didn’t want her, either, so they sent her to a youth facility center. The youth facility center couldn’t handle her, so the social service decided to move her to us. Because her mother refused to take her home. Mother still refuses to sign custody papers so she still have custody and we’re waiting for the court to solve that. Meanwhile tweenie creates chaos in all possible ways here and whenever we try to do something she just simply states that we don’t have custody of her so we’ve got no rights to do anything (and legally we don’t) we still reached out to every unit we can and know they’re talking about putting her in a locked youth care facility. In my opinion our place is the home she should go back to when she’s feeling better if she gets there. But her mother who as I said has custody wants her close to her place which is in the other end of the country.

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Wow that’s alot, its really a sad story, bless your souls, the kiddo doesnt know that she has it great where shes at, but also been torn and drug along for so long she provably has no idea what a family looks like

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hehe I’m on a roll

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Total Facts!!!

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We’ve always been here though. But you’re right she probably doesn’t. I don’t like to possible send her away, but I can’t keep her here where she can’t get the help she needs either. Whatever we do it seems unfair.

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I understand damned if you do damned if you dont, I hate being in that situation it seems like you cant win either way

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Exactly, no matter where I turn. It won’t be fair to anyone.

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