Day 17!!! Holy crow. I was very eager to get back to work today after my very irritated weekend. So many times I wanted to just give in to the monkey on my shoulder. I have several other issues aside from alcoholism. we all have issues. For me the issues include and not limited to claustrophobia, anxiety, easily overwhelmed, lack of patience (although this has been much better without drinking) insomnia (also better without drinking) and other issues, but these issues got to me a lot this weekend so yeah, I wanted to get the hell outta my house and away from everyone. Being alone isnāt good I know this, but I am not alone at work and a few coworkers know about my attempt to be sober so they do not ask if I want any nips for lunch any more. But they donāt bother me like my adult children bother me. Work doesnāt bother me like my house bothers me. The kids and I, since Iāve been trying to be sober, have been trying to work on the house to get it back to the way it was before I managed to neglect everything. It is improving, but itās still a downer to look at and deal with. Baby steps. Hahaha.
I feel like mother earth is mad 
ā¦ On a brigther note, Iām 42 days clean/sober and have never felt better 
Talked to tweenies mother tonight, without tweenie knowing it. I said that I donāt want tweenie to be moved from here, to a youth facility and then back to her mothers house or to another family. I said that If she have to be placed somewhere Iād prefer it to be close to here, so she can come back and stay with us after she had the chance to get professional help. And when they think sheās ready to get back home. Because I want her to be home somewhere and feels that she has a home and a family thatās there for her. That she can come back to. And that we are trying all we can to help her. Iām going to say the same to the social service tomorrow. Her Ma said sheāll think about it. And as you guys know weāve got no custody so we canāt make that decision on our own. Just hoping the Ma goes on my line.
@apes2020 congrats on 42.49 days
@AmyBeth Yay for 17 daysā¦more than 1/2 month already!
@MrsOdhā¦this sound rough. raising young women at that age alone is tough. I tell my kids all the time that I am going to probably mess up their lives completely, but I am not worried because they are rockstars and will figure it out. Hang in there, be you, and set the example that she may one day see in herself.
@CATMANCAM Remarkable!! 154 days and another at 4 months. Knuckles man, that rocks!
Checking in: Starting day 7 with a flare. Canāt stop smiling but damn I need a nap. The dreams are for real crazy. I have always had and remembered my dreams. I used to joke that when I dream I am actually living in an alternative universeā¦some are so damn fine I could probably win the RITA award. Last night they were all over the place and I woke up begging my husband to not allow his brother to move into to our basement with his 12 kids and that we have hotdogs in our fridge that expired in 2017 and why havent we cleaned the fridge out! He just chuckles because he is used to my wake up ramblings.
Hope you all have a great week! Peace and Love to all ya peeps.
Edit: My brother-in-law does not actually have 12 kids
Thereās a real thing called Paracosm where people have an entire detailed imaginative world they go to in their daydreams and real dreams. Like an alternative real universe. Not all people have it, but some.
Reallyā¦ now I am going to get nothing done at the office and only research that topicš¤£
Yep itās a real thing, well an imaginary real thing. A real imaginationā¦
Congratulations on 2 years Nina. How did it feel reaching 2 years compared to 1? Amazing work!
Awesome job on the 4 months. You just keep me in awe as you keep kicking ass at kicking ass.
My uncle just called me to tell me about the tattoo. Wow itās going to be so sick guys, Iāll be able to show you guys in a couple of days.
I wanted my story, so many of you know I tried hanging myself. So he is gonna have my hand coming out of the ground, with a bottle with a belt around it and my two girls hands pulling me up. And he wants to tattoo it on me, I just have to get down to him in Pennsylvania
I actually look at in once and awhile when Iām looking for movies. I donāt spend a lot of time on there. Donāt sell yourself short. Im learning we have no idea how many people just come and go on TS. and read and just take a look around.
I donāt think itās ignored. But what do I know. I see you at 32 now. That great 
I do that when Iām manifesting. I go onto very detailed visualisation imaging. It works. Iāve manifested so much but this
I still cannot sleep, temperature in my whole apartment not even 17 degrees. Lying in bed thinking of the times back in the 80/90, it must have been,when I slept at my grandparents house. In every room was an oven except for the sleeping room. It was soooo f** cold in winter. There was this gigantic cover and she put a warm blanket inside the bed. I went to bed and she always had to convince me to stretch out my legs as I was frozen like an embryo. I could see my breath. The toilet was on half floor, no flushing. I cannot remember if I had to pee during night. Donāt think so. So, yeah, I can still be very grateful. 
Goodnight allā¦ Iām feeling rather bent out of shape at the notion that Iāve had to cancel my diving trip because of work reasons. I was supposed to leave on Sunday, for a weekā¦
The French expression for something going all pear-shaped like that is ātomber Ć lāeauā, which means āfalling in the waterā.
Now considering that I was going to go scuba diving, thatās pretty apt.
Bollocksā¦
Anyway, goodnight all.
- Nothing will help you appreciate working full time only than working 26- 12 hour night shifts in a 30 day stretch. And thatās exactly what I was doing this time last year. I had replaced half of my diet with wine and hard liquor and I donāt know how I was able to power through. Lots of emotional breakdowns thatās for sure. Glad to be sober and off today
Did you work with me? @SteppingStones
I was on a schedule like that for months, money was great, but my health was not
@Draynewe Congratulations! 3 months is such a great achievement.
@Ninjakitty Amazing stuff!
@Blake11 Well done!
@MrsOdh Hoping for strength and wisdom.
@JoMarch Hurrah!
@anon89892515 Nice number!
@anon74766472 The temperature in my house is currently 5 C. And no central heating.
Whhhhaaaaatttt?
Thatās very good you did it
Welcome to Japan, one of the most technological advanced countries in the world, where there is no central heating, and people still use fax machines.