Day 220 I struggled with the idea of posting or sharing this,
Good and Bad.
Yesterday I had another bout with a housemate, but I came clean about my medication issue of course I was told “we knew” you been all over the place the last week or so.
Fortunately my other housemate had an option that gets me seen by a psych tomorrow so I can get back on track. Instead of waiting till march
I didn’t ever realize how dangerous detoxing from psych meds could be, I guess cause i was always too wasted to notice.
But it makes me feel guilty my former Mrs. Fury used to tell me all the time how I needed meds. And I needed to stay with them, it was one of her finer points. And I didn’t listen. 38 years of my way has really been destructive
Day 122. Made it through another day sober, even though I wanted to either scream at everyone and or cry most of the day. But I made it. Tomorrow will be another, different day. I’m happy to be going to sleep sober tonight so that I won’t have to deal with whatever happens tomorrow hungover.
@RosaCanDo I’m glad you’re still here with us, fighting the sober fight, in spite of all the physical and emotional turmoil you’re enduring right now. Big hugs from Louisiana.
@M-be-free49 thank you for your post today. It was full of things for me to meditate on, and a good reminder to use this thread as a way to build our fellow soberians up each day.
@apes2020, your pictures are amazing! I love that you have a smart, awesome bird that visits you! And I’m thinking that if we ever get to the point where we travel again, Melbourne has moved up several spots on my “places to visit” list.
@Tomek, it’s good to hear from you. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much right now. Sometimes, when there’s so much stuff going on, it seems like nothing will ever end, that nothing will ever change, even as everything and everyone (including ourselves) is shifting subtly every day. You’re awesome, kind, and so talented. You will find your way through this.
Day 348~ Checking in sober. Life has been hectic and cray per usual. Work actually has been a shit show. There’s nothing worse than doing the best you can and have it go unnoticed and feel unappreciated. I’m being tested but know there’s nothing more I can do. I will not allow the stress of work to carry over into my life at home.
I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting over these past 348 days. I’ve learned so much. One thing I’m getting better at is patience. I’ve always been the type that when I want something I get it or do it. I would want instant results. I’m allowing life to just happen and if the time isn’t right I leave it alone. Things need to naturally happen on their own time. Each day I’m stronger and the lessons I’ve learned along this journey are being applied to my everyday life. I’m blessed, I’m thankful, I’m sober… feels so good to say that.
I 100% relate to that cycle when it comes to grief. And it made me think of an earlier post of yours that also resonated so deeply with me - about feeling strong in your sobriety on the whole, but being a bit on edge about what would happen with the next big thing came along that you would be facing sober - like a death.
Well, it came, and here you are. Feeling your grief, and still living life, and in the process, honouring your dear Chucho. Your grief is clean - untainted by shame and remorse from numbing - and you’re willing to feel it. A testament to him and your love for him.
I learn so much from you! Just wanted to let’cha know I think you’re pretty remarkable…
60 Days aka Two Months! Woohoo! Feels good. Things that have helped immensely this time around are…
•Checking in daily here. It’s been a great way to hold myself accountable and reflect every day on how I’m doing, what’s coming up for me. Knowing this community is here is huge.
•Regular exercise. I’ve been fit for a while but have taken it to the next level by committing to specific work out programs. I incorporated more hiit routines and getting my heart rate up has been a natural way to release energy and feel good. Definitely helps me to resist drinking.
•Meditation and yoga. I’ve been practicing meditation since I was a kid but have a renewed commitment and have been keeping up a daily practice. It makes a huge difference. Mind-body practices help me stay in touch with what’s going on for me instead of trying to disconnect.
•Engaging with new projects and hobbies. I may have overextended myself a bit here, haha, but it helps to stay busy for sure.
•Good nights sleep… appreciating the quality of sleep I have now without drinking or smoking weed. I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me until it was gone.
495 Days. I had a really crappy day and I came home from work to my daughter having another major meltdown. I was dealing with some pretty tough stuff myself that involved death and I just needed some peace. She carried on for 3 hours. I couldn’t take it anymore after 2 hours so I hopped on an online meeting which didn’t help then went for a walk in a snow storm. I was ready to give up on sobriety but had no way to get my hands on anything. This is why I can’t allow alcohol in my house.
Day 211.
The day was shorter on my cherished M-time and felt more like being at a smorgasbord of “the demands of life during middle-age”. Blech. I never really did like all-you-can-eat anything!
Yes, as others have said, work is testing us this week it seems. I’m either learning to practice “healthy detachment” more and not be overwhelmed, or simply starting to care less…? Whichever it is, at least I’m not self-medicating the night away…
Another covid outbreak at Mom’s building as of today, and some new hurdles with her health too. Stressful, and I have to remind myself to feel the sadness or I will seek new AF ways to numb – like working long hours. I’ve starred in that movie before, too though…
This stuff – work stress, changes in loved ones’ health – all kinds of stuff, this change is pretty constant. Some kind of stress or another will always be there. Especially if I go looking for it as an excuse to pour that first glass…
But I don’t need a drink. You all show me that every day.
I have everything I need. And we have each other too.
So let the storm blow in.
We did another day. And yep, we can do another one tomorrow.
G’night, beautiful people.
You came here. You’ve got us. This whole thread today seems to be being tested!
I find your post powerful, to be honest. You are still ahead of it, on guard, and fighting it every step of the way. And winning. You are going to bed sober.
Having my coffee. Work in a mo. I’m tired. But I’m sober and clean and that makes all the difference. Thanks for being here all. And thanks for having the courage to share your struggles. The burden is too much to face and carry alone. Together we can make it. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Love from Amsterdam where thank god there were no riots last night.
550 days clean and sober. Connected to a Power greater then myself and enjoying life with all it’s twist and turns, highs and lows, ODAAT… Good night TS friends.
& 
