67 days. Still fighting strep throat and whatever else I have at the moment. Dr is convinced it’s more than strep. First covid test came back invalid, so I had to take it again yesterday. Hopefully I’ll find out today.
Quite pleased with my 67 days of sobriety. I grow more and more confident with each passing day that I really am done with alcohol forever. Is it wise to feel this way? Am I setting myself up to fail somehow? I never want to let my guard down. Alcohol ruined my life for three years … never again.
It’s ok to gain confidence, it’s not ok to get complacent.
I am confident I never want to and never will touch a bottle again, but I’m also aware of what can cause me to fail. If I’m battling urges, I need to be proactive, if I’m craving I need my support group.
Know what works for you and stick with it,
ETA good luck with your COVID testing, I have to get one, work required I’m asymptomatic
@Private50 Thanks for reaching out. I’m ok, work a lot to distract myself and try to arrange my thoughts and feelings.
@TSan Thank you for your wise words! Yes, things are so overwhelming right now, I just can’t see through it. And I’m afraid that I’m shifting subtly as you wrote, but in the wrong direction.
Day 45.
Not a good day. Had to attend a funeral. The deceased was not a close friend or family member but it shook me. I hadn’t been to a funeral in 10 years. A lot of questioning my mortality and my loved one’s mortality.
I’m growing more and more impatient with reaching new sobriety goals and losing weight.
I just want to see a physical difference in my self.
Because I’m already overweight, I’m still bloated looking even though I’m off alcohol.
After today though, I’m just glad to be on a healthier path and to have my loved ones along with me.
Day 102, hanging in there. Reading the news in the morning is a bad idea, I should probably stop. Practicing gratitude and meditation isn’t enough. I still feel frustrated. However, as they say - this too shall pass
Checking in, day 83. I’m pretty tired because I don’t sleep well recently. I try to distract myself, but on the other hand I try to wrap up my issues, I have to look into them, because anyway nothing will get better.
I realized, that in my relationship with myself I hurt myself (by addictions), I judge myself, I escape. These are my tools. And sadly I use the same tools in my relationships with others. Also: I fear to be treated this way, because I assume, that others use the same tools, as these are the only ones I know. I fear to be hurt, judged and abandoned. I don’t want to be treated the way I treat myself. So I don’t trust others and I don’t trust myself. I don’t let myself be loved, yet I blame life to be rough.
So I have to let my guard down and trust, that I’m strong enough without it. It’s not what defends me. Abandoning to avoid being abandoned is the same as quitting real life by addictions to avoid taking the risk to live it. Quitting before being measured. With a guard I’m not strong but a coward.
Checking in Wednesday, Day 386 sober. Got a busy day working and on the phone, but have set aside time for a walk and to attend a Recovery Dharma meeting. Wishing everyone a great day!
Congrats @MagicILY on 60 Days!! Great list of what you are doing as well!
@Lisa07 Sorry you had a crappy day. My take-away from what you describe is that you REALLY want to be sober - just look at how you handled it: you had some real shitty stuff going on and your first reaction was to get to a meeting, your second was go for a walk and restore your calm & strength, and then you can on here to share. I’m glad you didn’t drink, and I hope you take from this the proof that you have the tools to stay sober and are using them!
Hello all. Just checking in at the end of my 24th day of beautiful sobriety. Going to bed sober again feels great.
Was missing my old ‘friend’ during my working day today. My devious alcoholic voice was telling me that I was bored and that work was a bit too easy and dull without a hangover to cope with. He’ll try anything! Fortunately, my thinking was clear enough for me to recognise that for what it was and to disregard it. Just makes me realise that I need to stay on my toes.
Hope you’re feeling good wherever you are and whatever you’re up to.
Goodnight.
Y’all! I just found out yesterday that I was exposed to Covid again on my FIRST day out of quarantine . I’m losing my mind. Since I was with one of my brokers, and the other one was out with Covid, we decided to still go into the office. That will be it though for the next two weeks again. Sigh.
Hey all, day 227 for me today. I’ve been struggling to get motivated to workout in the mornings recently, which has been one of my top motivators since I became sober. I think it’s due to the cold and I’m also building up a caffeine tolerance so my usual preworkout supplement isn’t giving me the boost it used too.
If that’s my biggest problem then I’d say I’m doing pretty good Have a great one guys.
Day 359. It’s funny, I sit here and say how I miss who I was in the beginning of recovery, bc I was a little more optimistic, but now that I really think about it. I don’t miss it at all, I remember being angry alot in the beginning, and fighting urges every other day. I was always yelling at my girls. Things are really damn good now, yeah I’ve been super sleepy but w.e I still get done what I can manage, but life is so much better. It’s always funny how I use to sit there and say I just want to feel normal, and literally this is probably the most normal I’ve felt in my 15 years of addiction, but bc it’s so normal it feels weird and not normal lmao. Anyways that’s what I got for today, love y’all
Day 229 clean and sober today. Had a using dream last night and woke up feeling gross. I know it’s normal to have them sometimes but damn I hate the way it makes me feel. Have a great day everyone, love you guys!!!
225 days. Feeling lost and in a rut of my own creation. Drinking won’t help with anything and will only make matters worse but today I question what I’m doing this for.
I think we have such high expectations at the beginning of how life is going to be so much better and that initial euphoria once we realise we might actually be able to do this is something I wish I could bottle and keep for later. The fact of the matter is we slowly get used to our new life and if you don’t wake up grateful every morning and say thank you every night its not long before you take it for granted and forget where you came from. If you ever want to feel like you did in the early days go back out there get fucked up and try and start all this again, many never make it back, I don’t think I would, so yeah today is a great day to be sober mate and don’t ever forget it. From the outside we have all watched your journey and still see the difference in you even on the days you don’t well done mate.
. I’m losing my mind. Since I was with one of my brokers, and the other one was out with Covid, we decided to still go into the office. That will be it though for the next two weeks again. Sigh.
Have a great one guys.
well done mate.