Day 137. I made it home on time today, which is more than I can say for the past couple of days. I spent all day getting permit applications in order and trying not to yell “that’s not my job” at multiple people. Tomorrow, I’m on the road again.
@RosaCanDo, I hope your doctor’s appointment goes well tomorrow.
@Tomek, your favorite place is beautiful! Also, I am working on the not smoking thing, too. (I’m 11 days smoke free.) You can do this!
Sorry you are having a shitty day Courtney. Like you say, tomorrow is another day. Life is full of variety when we are sober. You have the strength and resilience to say f*** today and get on with life, I know you have.
I dunno… that doesn’t sound much like crisis to me. Not to minimize your experience! But just to say that it sounds more like… growth.
Midlife - yes, but at 50 years old, I’m likely over halfway through this transcontinental road trip (if we can use the analogy)! It makes sense to check in - do I want to end up at the same destination I set out for some 20-30 years ago (if I even set a destination…)? Are my goals the same? priorities? values? If yes - onward I go! But if no - then the compass and the route-finding must change too as a navigate to a more relevant destination, consistent with who I am now.
I think of a midlife crisis as perhaps the car being broken down, trying to reverse but can’t, (or - yeah, maybe one of the occupants kicked out for a newer, younger one - ouch!) But really - it’s crisis. It’s fear, loss of confidence, a clinging to what isn’t. It doesn’t describe the healthy transition, re-evaluation that should come at midlife, at least, to me.
But whether it’s crisis or transition - I definitely agree with you that it could not be civilized unless it’s sober.
My day off, I slept on and off, feeling relaxed I guess,
I’m watching some joe satriani stuff to motivate me for my next instrumental album., except sober instrumental album, thinking about making it very concept like, using strictly music to describe my journey, no lyrics, just melodic and solo guitar work to give the listener their own interpretation, like sit back close your eyes and visualize the journey this music gives you
@Dragonflygirl82 I’m sorry your having such a shit day, it’s tough when you want so much better and it seems like everything is going wrong.
You need to talk you know how to get me., that goes for anyone
Check in day 390 drugs & booze, day 79 nicotine
Lots to say but I don’t have it in me to type it out tonight. Sticking to my healthy routine.
Had an hour phone call with Mom that was fantastic. Absolutely has to be easily one of if not the best conversation we have ever had.
I noticed a milestone I feel I have to mention. @dalex77 it wasn’t my DoC but I did it too everyday for months… a few times over the years… four months is MASSIVE Dan good job
Day 75 check in! Amazing that I’ve come this far. Three full months seemed like such a long time, but it’s right around the corner. One day at a time really adds up.
Day 82, normal life stressors have been hitting hard this week. Feeling irritable, I just over reacted big time with my hubby. I know this will pass, just feeling bad about letting my restless irritability effect those I care about… time to go suck it up and apologize.
Hope you all are well.
Checking in. Feeling exhausted- just finished 5 nights in a row and didn’t sleep long enough each day. So much brain fog atm and going to bed soon. Didn’t want anyone to worry All is well and looking forward to flipping/sleeping in tomorrow morning. Hope everyone has an awesome day tomorrow!!
Day 226.
Amid all the celebratory milestones, this seems to have been a trying week for many on this thread - and the week’s not over yet. All the same - we’re doing it sober. And that makes me damn proud to be a part of this place.
This landed in my inbox this morning - made me think of you all:
May we let go, and grow bright as stars in a clear, frosty night, the more we are stripped of what we thought we could not do without.
Br. David Steindl-Rast
Growing brighter every day, we are.
We did another day. We’re doing it, right now. We can do another day tomorrow - I know it.
G’night, big love to all.
Start of day 4
Congratulations to everyone for their achievements
Not posted for a few days. Been a bit preoccupied.
Feel ok. Just come back from taking the pooch out for his morning walk and waiting to go to work.
My wife’s long term illness is giving her a bad pain flare up, which is worrying me and causing me to feel a little fed up. Shes been in bed for the past 2 days.
I’m finding that I have a lot of cravings that I can’t shift. I seem to be craving everything - food, nicotine, sugar, coffee. Trying to acknowledge the feelings and accept it rather than fighting it.
Actually got up with my alarm this morning. Early mornings are so much better for me although the puppy does not appreciate them. But she whines if I get up without her so… Tough shit Mags!
Trying to work out how to fit all the things in that I want to do is just too overwhelming. Still working on finding acceptance for the fact that I can’t spin so many plates, that can’t be part of my identity any more if I want a healthy and happy life.
Probably time to officially resign from some commitments that I’m just scraping through on, although I don’t feel quite ready yet. Like that formality would be admitting defeat or something. No one is pushing me either way so I’m going to stay in limbo with them for now and try and work on one thing at a time…
Just got to do the next right thing and see where everything ends up. My therapist said there’s a song about that in Frozen 2.
My weekend is here. Finishing my homework for therapy later today. Winter weather disruptions are diminishing so my train is supposed to go, so I should be able to get there. Feeling a little bit tense before the session but much better than I would have felt a couple of months ago. Really making some progress. Happy and proud about that. Just like I’m happy and proud to be sober and clean. I could never do this if I wasn’t. You all play a huge role in me remaining just that. One day at a time. I feel very grateful to this place and all you beautiful people in it. Have as good a day as you all can! Clean and sober that is. Love from my place where Luna keeps a keen eye on me.
@Clarity Big congrats on 200 days Sarah! Love to see you® progress. @marcusmaximus2000 400! That’s huge Marc! Excellent! Congrats! @dalex77 Awesome work Dan. Huge congrats on 4 months. @Dragonflygirl82 Hoping for a better day today Courtney. Love and hugs. @RosaCanDo All success with your doc’s appointment today dear Rosa. Hugs.
and get on with life, I know you have. 
& 
All is well and looking forward to flipping/sleeping in tomorrow morning. Hope everyone has an awesome day tomorrow!!
