That’s a cool story. You were meant to go there. Its crazy how eye opening some of the sermons can be. Never in a million years would have thought I’d be watching them.
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Congratulations on 200!!! 
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Checking in again day 13 eve. I have to.go pick up my boys from their fathers feeling triggered. Want to go grab and use and drink and forget this pain im feeling.
The fucked up memories seeing his whores car in the driveway…the old neighborhood where I use to party this is hard. Yet I’m going to try to be strong. Get them n come right home. Trying to be accountable. Fucked how you can love someone who hurts you so much. My heart is broken. I feel abandoned and disguraded like I was a child when my parents divorced. Where do I belong.
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@Rockstar24777 Whatever I could say isn’t enough. My deepest condolences. You deserve to be here just because you are you. Sending strength.
Was going to post and moan about having a headache and feeling nausous this morning. Suddenly doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Gonna suck on some mints and get through work.
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- Had good day. Went to my parents and meal prepped with my mom for the week and ended the day with my Dad making us steak on the grill. Happy to be sober another day!
@Rockstar24777 I am so terrible sorry to hear about your son. I have a lot of loss too and I know how overwhelming it is and how it feels like it never ends just loss after loss. Keep checking in here we’re all here for you. Nothing I can say will ease your pain I know that personally. I’m here if you need to talk. Stay safe.
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Great job on your almost 2 weeks. Enjoy the new strong you. That other Des doesn’t exist. Gone. You got a lot to be grateful for now that you’ve cleaned up your act. And your wonderful kids deserve it as much as you. Keep checking in. The first few weeks can be hard as hell. But you and those children are so worth it.
Give them a big hug when you see them.
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Thank you for your message. It calmed me. I’m sitting in the car waiting for them to come out. Can’t wait to.give them a big hug…they are reminders of why I’m doing this. Blessings to you.
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Wow. I don’t have any words for you, Rob. I’m just so very sad for you love. Hugs and prayers your way. I’m so sorry. 
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Hi Eric…thank you so much for your responses. I really appreciate the support. Your right the old Des is gone. I’m evolving into a better version of me…stronger… healthier…happier…
Can’t wait to.hug my little guys. Blessings to you!
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Hey Stella it was awesome having you. Glad to see you popped in,
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I am sorry to hear this. My condolences and prayers are with you.
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Some people will. Even those we love or try to be vulnerable with. They don’t know you and don’t get a say in your happiness. Just like that post you made in the mental health memes, all that is is some people projecting their own defects onto you.
Push through those 4th and 5th steps! There’s serious relief on the other side. Proud of you!
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I cannot imagine how you feel, Rob. I am desperately sorry for your loss. It is difficult to comprehend. Take care of yourself.
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End of the day. 99 days of sobriety. Spent a lot of it moving furniture around my and house and building new furniture. About to close my eyes to the sound of rain outside. Gym in the morning. Pretty good day.
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The new Des won. Came straight home. Hugged my boys…feeling sad…going to bed. Thankful I fought the urge.
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@Fury
Im so glad you went! I told you it would be awesome! God works in some really mysterious ways. But hes ways at work! Im so excited for you! I cant wait to heat more from you!
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…Check in to end my day clean and sober. I did my usual routine. I am tired of feeling uncomfortable where I live really fucking tired of it. I work pretty hard at staying sober, doing the next right thing and helping others. I need to be patient and focus on me. This too shall pass just probably not as fast as I would like. Let it go Brian. Give it to God.
Dear God,
Take my will and my life, guide me in my recovery, show me how to live. Amen
God bless you all. 
&
P.s. I see you and your milestones and you’re Awesome. Keep it up. Ya you!!
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Glad you’re straight back on… Congrats on the 800 days, keep on fighting!
Blessings and sobriety!
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