Getting the hang of it posting on this site thanks to a very kind person giving me advise
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Early check-in on day 870.
Thinking about how me saying and thinking nooo alcohol today after being hangover turned into, just for today.
Being grateful for having taken this path some days ago.
Facing a new, even harder Lockdown here in Germany. 
With no perspective at sight as they are 
Sorry for the rant. Still, going through this sober is the only way (and best way even). 
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Congratulations on your 870 days. Thereās got to be a milestone in there somewhere. Iām always impressed with your big numbers. And all you overcome and still be sober. Your a goddess.
So sorry to here Germany is going into a new harder lockdown. Iām so glad we are sober going through all this pandemic shit. I CANNOT imagine how much Iād be drinking now with all this shit if I wasnāt sober.
Great for you Franzi.
Love your new avatar. What a cutie.
I hope you have as good a day as possible.
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Checking in on day #16. Im feeling good. No anxiety, no procrastinating. Sober life is awesome 
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**Trigger Warning !! **
Trigger Warning!!
I havenāt had a problem watching people drink on TV or in the movies. I mean we cannot escape alcohol. But I have to admit I had a problem the other night watching the movie Moonstruck. When I saw Olympia Dukakis pulling out the olives in her martini for a bite. Man that looked so good to me. Maybe someday I could have another martini. FUCKING NOT!!. For a minute. Ok for a couple of days Iāve thought maybe Iām missing it. I was afraid to post that here in case of a trigger for someone. I hope I did this right writing trigger warning at the top. But we are suppose to share stuff like this right? Anyway Iām cool. Itās past. I know I could never have just one. Hell I could never have just 2 or 3. Or 4 or 5. You get the idea.
Thanks. Maybe I wonāt think about it tomorrow.
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Good to see you, good to hear you. You are incredibly brave for ploughing a whole new path for yourself and being openly honest about it. Rooting for you here!
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Youāre resting heart rate is just fine I cruise at 52 which is normal for a runner. Thatās what sobriety has awarded me, long distance running and more healthy lifestyle, I was too busy drinking and blacking out I couldnāt bother to eat. No more. Clean and sober life is the best life.
Blessings and sobriety!
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Eric. Yeah, she was so happy with all the sweets she got that day. I mean in comparison to my brother I had somehow the same amount 
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248.98 Days
Itās been a while since Iāve checked in.
Was definitely in a funk but that seems to have passed for now, with some hard work.
Lifting everyone up, in my thoughts always
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2 months 22 days.
This is officially the longest Iāve ever been sober. My previous best before now was 2 months 3 weeks.
Feeling very postive. Been listening to lots of podcasts, going to aa meetings a few times a week and, of course, visiting you lovely people on this website.
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Well, only 5 ārulesā But to be studied and contemplated on over and over again for a lifetime. HAve a good 24!
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Congratulations! Keep up the good work!
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Reading here really helps me to remind myself that a) I donāt want it, b) without exception or not that I know of the outcome of one drink will lead to the old denial, endless battle, talking, negotiating, c) how long the suffering continues.
Long time, as I was too secure, maybe arrogant, lacking gratitude and humbleness, I think I was admiring myself in how easy it was to not drink and feel awesome about it. I never had in mind what a toolbox was or that I would need it. The most important tool is: writing, talking about it with like-minded people that I donāt have to persuade that not drinking is my only way to live a healthy life. Or to have the time to develop better coping strategies.
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Checking in on day 438!
Glad to be sober. Still have alcohol and sleeping pills on my mind. I feel like those thoughts and feelings are right around the cornerā¦
Some days I feel like a house of cards. A little breeze can knock it down. And itās pretty rough to build it back up 
Canāt wait for my therapy session next week!
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Chrisā¦ Not having ever done what you are doing I will admit that from past conversations I had not realized it was specifically a sober home. You have mentioned drama frequently in your current housing situation and I have to agree with your choice to leave. That being said, are there currently pros to your situation that you would want to replicate in the next living arrangements?
Not to derail the conversation of courseā¦Just curious.
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I suppose that itās a generalised malaiseā¦ Iāve always considered myself to be wuite a failure, and certainly the major f-up of the family.
Incapable of maintaining a relationship, thatās for sure.
I can never bring myself to believe that my opinions or desires (or life) are of any worth.
But this will pass, and Iāll settle back into my rut.
You write in Japanese much better than I do !
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- Finished my coffee. Seems like a good week ahead with just two days of work till Monday and rising temperatures with spring weather forecast. I sense some
rides coming up 
. I also sense a clean and sober week coming up. No need for stupid drinking. My life is much better like this. Have as good a day as you all can friends. Clean and sober. Love from Amsterdam and Groningen where I spent some time yesterday. Nice town even when almost everything is closed down.
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52!!! Goals!!! The only thing I run is my mouth so I wonāt be getting there any time soon 
Keep killing it!!!
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In what ways are u the f-up of the family? Like I said, good job, skills, hobbiesā¦ Family approval can be a funny thing to desire, it isnāt always an accurate reflection of success. Likewise maintaining a relationship isnāt the be-all and end-all. Plenty of people are in bad or just staid relationships. What do u want out of life? How can u achieve it, or be on the path to it?
After nearly 20 years in Japan, I should hope so!
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